Bugger me it’s dusty in here. Haven’t woken the old blog creating machine up for a while so it’s taken ages to get the steam up and don’t even get me started on oiling the pistons and greasing the nipples. Oooh errr Missus.
Anywho, the country has got warmer again, which is annoying, the EU are trying to fuck us over to support their badly thought out Eurozone, which is very irritating, and Vettel has just got to score one more point to get the championship, which is actually quite funny.
First off that big Comet Elenin thing didn’t come to anything, which actually surprised me a little. Oh well, YU55 is heading close by in November so maybe that will cause a few things to occur if only to relieve the boredom of life. There have been a lot of recent quakes around the Canary Islands (El Heirro specifically) which could mean hell is about to be unleashed but we shall see.
The EU want us to help bail out the Euro by giving them lots of money… which seems a bit rich when we don’t even use the Euro and didn’t want it in the first place. As usual Germany is moaning at the top of the list (serves you right for voting a woman in, especially one called Merkel. MERKEL. For goodness sake). Greece wants more money as it keeps spending everything it can get on putting up new wallpaper and painting the roads gold and green. Sod them. Sod the lot of them.
Jeremy Kyle seems to be getting more and more towards the gutter. Everyday they seem to find a new group of people who make the previous guests look like the Royal Family (which I suppose isn’t saying much but you see my point). If this continues then sooner or later they will have Jade Goody’s mum on… oh hang on, they have done that already. I cannot imagine that ITV would actually pay these people to appear on the programme… do they actually give them money or is it simply the joy of being able to share the fact that you are a tracksuited, orange faced twat with a massively overused fanny who is dating a ‘guy’ who owns a pitbull, can’t count past 20 without taking his pants off and dosed up with chlamydia. It really is car crash television in the sense that I hope most of these people die in a fireball on the M6.
I bought some delicious crayfish tails and anchovies you could rub all over your body from the deli near work yesterday. They do my favourite chorizo too. It’s in West Street if you get chance to go shopping there. Lovely stuff. Trouble is that I know I won’t be able to decide whether to have a pizza with said ickle fish or a risotto with the chorizo for lunch. Arrrgh. Oh my.
Nice to see Gordon Ramsey back on screen with his Kitchen Nightmares. He may be a loadmouth cock sometimes but he can certainly cook and certainly helps turn people’s businesses around without being Alan Sugar or one of Dragon’s Den (all of whom I detest, actually I don’t mind that Peter Jones but the rest can bugger orf). The USA version of Kitchen Nightmares is a lot more annoying than the UK version. It is certainly ramped up with far more sweary bits and throwing out the pram of toys where as in the UK it is far more controlled and sedate but then again I suppose that is the difference between us and the showy Yanks. We value (or used to at least) substance over surface.
On that note Rihanna got kicked out of a field for prancing around in her bra by a farmer who didn’t know who she was. I personally would have run the big foreheaded bint down with the nearest combine harvester just to help try and preserve music and stop it sliding any further down the hill into utter, utter shite.
…and on the subject of preserving things… David Croft sadly died this week. The writer and co-writer of many classic TV series such as Hi-de-Hi, ‘Allo Allo and You Rang m’Lord.? One of the legends of comedy writing, an art which seems to have been lost since the early 2000s except in rare cases (Horne and Corden, IT Crowd, The Phone Shop – fuck off the lot of you) so we shall leave the last words to one of his most famous characters. Officer Crabtree of ‘Allo ‘Allo…
…according to his family… “He pissed away in his slop”.
*****LATE NEWS*****
Deannon… De’annon, that is NOT a name. People please… stop using random words for your sodding kid’s names.