As the frost returns we take another peek into the warped mind that is Fluffy Bunny, the one and only. On the agenda this week we have had swine flu, buckets of dirty water and sick all down the walls… but enough about my hobbies.!
How many people here have seen Piranha (spoiler warning by the way).? The modern version all up to date and whatnot.? Jaws with Tits right.? Yes indeed but perhaps it is just my aging mind but the special effects in films nowadays seems to be making everything look more unreal than back in the days of simple models, basic CGI overlays and bluescreen effects.! Piranha is a case in point. When the director dude is lying with a leg stripped to the bone on his boat (and his knob missing) it just looks, well wrong. Ok I am aware that a guy lying on a boat with no flesh or anything else on his limb IS wrong but there is just something that doesn’t quite work in there.
Ditto blood effects in a number of modern movies. Fake blood is a marvellous thing. It oozes, it drips, it dribbles between the heaving breasts of a young nymphess and forms tracks in the powder… sorry, yes fake blood is lovely because it moves like blood. CGI blood moves like a computer thinks it does, as taught by some pimply gentleman who has spent less time in the bosom of young women and a lot more writing code in his pants. The blood in some of the SAW movies looks like it was animated on a BBC Master by a blind guy with his guide dog doing the typing.
It used to be an art to create something brilliant. The old Red Dwarf scenes were all model based and were all the better for it. Techniques created back in the 60s when Thunderbirds really took off (no pun intended but appearing courtesy of Gerry Anderson and a ball of string) were used for bloody years until computers were able to process and redraw quick enough and I think we are all poorer for it. In a way the use of models rather than graphics seems to make it look like the film producers have actually tried hard to make a film look good rather than spending $2000 on a Mac and a CGI package and saying “Off you go Brian”.
Come on Hollywood, get back to the wonderful movies of old. Indiana Jones was better with models and only a little CGI, the Goonies was brilliant with a big set and no comps… do it people.!
What’s the perfect pop song.? What’s the perfect song for that matter.?? I was listening to the Chris Evans Breakfast Show the other day and he played Good Enough by Dodgy (remember that from 1995) and it was lovely. Pleasant of note, warm of tone and with nice bouncy lyrics and it made a happy smile creep across my sleepy chops. Maybe it was memories of times past (zooming around in a mates gold Austin Maestro and cooking burgers over wood fires) that may have added to the pleasure of hearing the song but there really is just something grand about a well built composition. Some people say “She Loves You” by the Beatles is the perfect pop song. I am not sure I totally agree but I see their point. It is simple, catchy and memorable so certainly qualifies.
Perhaps it is an impossible task to shortlist such a massive amount of music into just one pinpoint of brilliance. Back in 2001 I tried to make an album of 15 songs, all of which would be my personal favourite of all time. I could only choose one per band (to save me just selecting two Pulp albums and calling it quits) but that was the only self imposed limit I held. Starting with a couple of sheets of paper I started to write down all the songs that had affected my life up until that point. When I got to 8 sides of A4 I stopped and thought “This just isn’t going to work”.!
I never did finish the list but maybe I should… as of the 20th of January 2011 THIS is my top ten songs OF ALL TIME as I see it. I am sure you will disagree so slap in a comment and show me yours.!
1, Pulp – Wickerman. Simply the most incredible piece of music. Brilliantly written, poignant, epic. It leaves you at the top of the music like you are riding a wave and then drops making you feel like you are flying gently back to earth. It captures the world as only Jarvis can, gritty, real, obscure but so true. If this song didn’t exist then my world would be a lot smaller.
2, Dire Straits – Telegraph Road. 14 minutes and 15 seconds of guitar moistness. I struggle to remember all the chords for an Oasis song for three minutes, Knophler whacks out the tab for a quarter of an hour and sings along as well. It may be another epic song but I don’t care. I can never get bored of this.
3, Fleetwood Mac – Rhiannon. Very difficult to narrow down Fleetwood Mac songs but this one, especially the video I was watching on Youtube of the live version from back in the 70s with Stevie at her dramatic best and Mr Buckingham giving it his bearded all on that axe, wow, what a performance.
4, The Smiths – How Soon Is Now. That infamous last song from clubbing. It describes me perfectly which perhaps makes it more relatively special to myself than other Smiths tracks. The loooong outro just keeps the song going round and round and round to the point where you sometimes wonder if you are just going to be dancing all night to this track, not that I would mind because it just works so nicely.
5, KLF – 3am Eternal. My perfect dance song, well early 1990s at least, it encompasses all the world learnt about dance music during the 1980s and then chews it up, spits it out and decimates anything released during the 1990s in the first year of the decade.!
6, Pendulum – Hold You Colour. I know this is never the most popular of their tracks and again special memories preside, but the whole damn track just grabs you by the nuts and squeezes you until that last note. If this song was a colour it would be purple, purple whirling around with the occasional flash of red. Nice.
7, Pharcyde – Runnin’. Hip hop.? Well yes. It may be 16 years old this year but I have been hooked since day one. To be honest between this and Regulate by Warren G this is how I started to understand more about music than just pop. If a hip hop track can be relaxing to listen to then this is it. Almost dreamy.
8, Sneaker Pimps – Six Underground. Now here is a dilemma. There are three SP tracks that I am obsessed with. Tesko Suicide, Spin Spin Sugar and this one. I had to listen to all three before I chose Six Underground… it just has the edge. I am not sure what that edge is, but there it is. There. No… there. Yes THERE. Ooooh.
9, Electric Prunes – Too Much To Dream Last Night. The second ever song played on Radio 1 by Mark and Lard… but bloody hell what a track.! Pure 60’s psychedelia at it’s very best. Why is this song not better known but Procul Harem and their Paler Shades is.? Weird how it all works out.
10, Cake – The Distance. I love motorsport, I love music and I love epics and this is a good example of all three rolled into one. Perhaps the best driving song ever written, it just spews class down your dashboard. Wonderful hook and a lovely little riff.
(Ok I know I said ten but I forgot something very important)…
11, Jamiroquai – Space Cowboy. The original mix of this song without that slightly harsh sounding wahwah guitar bit after the chorus is so delightful I could put it on once and press repeat and then stay there all week. It sounds brown, maybe the hat makes a difference, in an earthy kind of a way. Jay Kay knows just how to drag you into a song and form it around you (something he did with brilliant effect with Virtual Insanity) like a big room made of musical notes.
I better stop there before I start adding in things like ‘All Together Now’ by the Farm or ‘Taproot’ by Poem. Plus it is almost lunch time.! PIZZZZAAAAAA.