DS Beech from The Bill. I know you may have fallen on hard times what with you no longer being in The Bill or whatever else you have appeared in, but do you really have to lower yourself to selling iffy “you blame and claim” lawyer firms on the television. I noted earlier that your most recent work contains you opening with the phrase “we are injury lawyers for you”. As you are advertising a low budget firm who happen to be called “injury lawyers 4 U” and the website address is just that, surely the words in your script are pointless.
I am fully aware that you are not Cary Grant, Kenneth Williams or indeed a really top class actor, but do you not have some pride.? Do you not have some kind of social conscience that would prevent you selling your artistic soul to produce adverts of this shitty calibre. It is bad enough that Stephen Fry and Paul Merton are both hosting the Direct Line ads (two comedians I greatly admire) or that every other person who has ever spent ten minutes in front of a camera has done a part advert for Tesco.!
So just stop it ok.? Or I shall come round and put pepper in your pants.
Pray hello my dear folks. I just HAD to get that little rant out before I started things off properly, these things do build up in me so. This is a slightly odd blog as I have written different bits over the past few days and now I am just putting it all together. Call it a blog-jigsaw and throw me a big bowl of Brian Cant.!
There are just TWENTY THREE days to the first Grand Prix of the year. TWENTY BLOODY THREE and you know what is the most exciting part of it all for me…? It isn’t Michael Schumacher and his return in the Mercedes. It isn’t Mercedes running a works team for the first time since the early days. It isn’t the idea of 26 cars on the grid (or maybe even 28). And bizarrely it isn’t the fully English line up at McLaren with two world champions…
It’s the return of one of the greatest names in Formula One history. A team that won the constructor’s championship SEVEN times. Led by the genius, if a little bloody minded, Colin Chapman and with cars driven by such F1 heroes as Clark, Hill, Moss, Mansell, Piquet, Senna, Fittipaldi, Ireland, Amon, Peterson and even Mika Hakkinen in his early days. Lotus are BACK and even more importantly, powered by a Cosworth engine. Sadly it won’t be the incredible DFV which powered pretty much every car in F1 during the seventies and eighties (and which would no longer fit the formula anyway).
Just looking at their new car takes me back to the late eighties and Senna driving the bright yellow Camel sponsored machine to victory at Monaco (the penultimate Lotus win, their last being Senna again at the next race in the USA). Chapman was brilliant as a designer and also had some new idea to drag out of the pot. He was the one who brought in side skirts and ground effects. He invented a car with TWO chassis, one inside the other, to allow the car to run closer to the ground (which got it disqualified very quickly) and it was also Lotus that introduced tobacco sponsorship back in the 1960s with the Gold Leaf sponsored Lotus 25 (or was it the 49).
Either way, I am getting closer and closer to the edge of my seat waiting for that first race to be sent off on it’s parade lap. I just hope it ends up as exciting as 2008 did, although I am not sure my nerves could take that again.!
And finally… there should be a warning label on all boxes of chocolates that reads “Caution, may cause your friends and family to try and steal all the soft centres from under your nose”. Still… very nice though, thanks Chili.
Bye all.!