Alright there everybody.? Week six of 2010 treating you in a nice way I trust.? Good good. My legs are aching so a cold or my usual dust allergy appears to be on the way. Oh lucky me. Oh well, this week, next week, then two weeks off so that is just eight working days and I am offski.
I saw a few sights whilst people watching this afternoon (in between counting obviously). The first was a blob. I say blob but it was actually a very common looking lass who had clearly taken the McDonalds “go large” slogan the wrong way. But bless her, there she was, dancing along with a fag in one hand, a phone in t’other and a Romford face lift (skin tightened to almost snapping point due to the mammoth stress applied by a series of load bearing ‘Scrunchies’. I also noticed a distinct increase around town of scabby looking men and women, wild eyed and desperate (and one in a pink velour tracksuit despite being at least 40 if not older).
Took me a while to work it out but then I remembered today is Giro day and the level of class of the town centre drops as the High Street fills with alcoholics and smack heads crawl out to take our tax payers money and spend it in Greggs, the bookies and Booze Buster. Joyous days.
(Ooooh as I think about it I do remember seeing another family of the underclass pushing a pram around with a McDonalds box sat atop the pram. Marvellous stuff… oh and the couple in Pooondland debating which crisps are best to feed their baby.!! Fuck me, what a society).
Then I saw a car drive past. One of the new shape Minis. Well nothing weird there (unless you count the awful plastic covered lump of shit that drove past me yesterday with two yoofs cuddled up inside) but this Mini had a word in huge black letters on the roof. It said “MINI”. Why in hell does someone need the type of car they are driving emblazoned on the top of their vehicle.? Is it in case you park by a tall building and often forget where you parked it.? Or perhaps when you drink drive your way home it can be useful to know the name of the car you are in so when you have to phone the AA to drag you out of the bus stop you have crashed through they know what to look for.
Perhaps we should extend this trend to other people and their cars. So on the top of Peter Andre’s car he could have “TIT” splashed across it. Michael Winner could have “CUNT” on his. JLS could have “BUNCH OF TALENTLESS WASTERS” on their tour bus perhaps. Ultimately we would end up with Kerry Katona driving around the country with “IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN I AM PROBABLY ON MY WAY TO REHAB AGAIN OR BUYING MORE DRUGS”… good job she has a big car then.
Finally tonight we have a band that has been getting lots of airtime on Radio Two. They have been around for a good while but have only just appeared on my radar. They are called Little Big Town and their single “Fine Line” is just marvellous. Think of Fleetwood Mac with a touch of the Corrs (and they seem to cover a few Fleetwood Mac songs in their gigs) and you get the idea. One of the female singers looks remarkably like from Hollyoaks (remember her.?) but it doesn’t take anything away I promise.! Hehe.
So I shall leave you now with them playing Fine Line… it is bloody great.!
(ps… if anyone can remember which comedy programme the line forming my title for today is from then pleeeease tell me. It is driving me up the fucking wall.!)
A quick Google for “You look like mickey mouse” returns this page as the #1 link!
Therefore it shows that you did in fact dream said quote as the computer says no!