Good evening mein little stoats. What’s going on here then.? Not much I hear you cry.?? Well allow me to change all that and have a good read of my bumblings and fumblings about the world and all it’s contents.
First off.. Mr Gately… awww. Oh well. (Oh come on… a dead, Irish, gay singer, it just isn’t worth even bothering).
Secondly… Hobbits. My favourite night club and haunt for the best part of 15 years is to close on the 31st of October. Well that is NO good at all. Where in hell can we go now.? The choices are… Cabot (full most Saturdays with the underclass and tossers), Seven (way too pricey and far too mainstream), Density (sic) (oh come on… no way Pedro) and DBs (errr much as I like the idea of Hobbits four years ago in another building, the music is usually awful, it is the nightclub equivalent of Facebook and I detest some of the skanks that visit that corridor of a club). So it would appear, with the loss of Phoenix as well, that there is now no where to go. Bugger. It’s going to be such a sad occasion.!!! So many memories in there. Sigh.
Thirdly, I started writing this about two weeks ago and didn’t get round to it so now read on….
Sat here listening to “This is a Low” from the Blur “Girls and Boys” album has made me wonder something… actually it isn’t just that it was something a mate said at work whilst listening to Genesis bawling out “Invisible Touch”. We both agreed that music no longer has the quality it once did. No longer do you hear songs that blow you away and cause you to leave this world for another… let me explain.
Name a song written in the last decade that has all the elements of a classic bit of music. The nearest I can get is Umbrella by Rihanna (it’s catchy, it has a certain ’soul’ to it, it had the longevity on the chart and still hasn’t pissed me off). Actually throw in Dare by the Gorillaz instead, that is even better, not totally proving my point am I but that is just two songs in the past ten years (well since the end of 1999 as from that year I can think of so many great tracks and from any year before that but it just seems like 2000 was a cut off point where the good music had to relent and the bad stuff floated to the top and just wouldn’t flush).
People are instantly going to read this and go “Ooooh that Fluffy Bunny is getting old, music isn’t the same anymore” but I like to think I am in context here. I can look back at music from 1940 to now and in those 65 years why has the passion disappeared so suddenly from our music. Yes there are plenty of decent bands out there but it seems like no one gives a toss how awful an artist can be and still reside in a career within music when their calling is more obviously in fellating hippos, cleaning the sludge out of sewage pipes or shaving Kerry Katona’s massively fat, cocaine riddled anus.
Oh it is all just bloody awful. Makes me want to repeatedly bang my head against my desk but I would worry someone from Simon Cowell’s production company would hear it and pop in to offer me a ten album deal and a chance to bum Louis Walsh. Tch.
Oh and the two girls on Monday’s Jeremy Kyle show were possibly two of the UGLIEST slags I have ever clapped eyes on. Imagine if you got a pig… and threw it at great speed into another pig, then set the bleeding, bacon flavoured mess on fire and placed a couple of wigs on the inferno. No, actually picture in your mind a wall. Now picture my good self flinging assorted offal and dog shit at the brickwork whilst constantly projectile vomiting a mixture of Milk of Magnesia and Danish Blue cheese sauce over it. Now draw a face in it with a stick coated in the daily drippings of Chris Moyles’ pants. There we go.
Well I am off for dinner. Yummy… oooh blue cheese and dogshit on toast. Lovely.
Oh… and the other day I was merrily looking out of my work window down at the street below when two smartly dressed police officers wandered along the pavement towards the High Street. As they happily yabbered between themselves I noticed a mobile phone appeared in one of their hands. Luckily my view included the webpage currently loaded on that phone… Facebook. Brilliant. Imagine the status updates… “PC Brewster is currently shagging a vulnerable woman without telling the Sarge and WPC Latimer is holding his helmet”.
