I was thinking earlier (really Fluffy Bunny… surely you were at work and unable to cram thinking into your busy day of serving horrible looking, giro hungry, unemployed rehab persons from London who are scrounging money out of every possible Government office).  Ok when I say earlier I mean a couple of weeks ago when I tapped my thoughts into my phone and promptly forgot their existance.  Now you see, I was thinking about town centres (oh I know, but indulge me please).

During the glory years of retail shops popped up spreading out from the centre of every town and city. Radiating out further and further they spread across the land and people went nuts spending their hard earned shillings on arsenic filled sweets and wooden dogs. Later on in life along came the car… brrm brrm. Everyone who used to get the bus or tram into town to do their shopping suddenly found they could drive in, buy lots of things and carry them directly to their door in the boot.

Then one day along came the out of town Mall style building (yes, thanks America). It sucked all the shops out of the town centre like  a Top Shop Hoover and squirted them lovingly into these big new buildings, each one very similar and rather dull.  Best of all you could PARK your CAR right in the shop and only had to lean out of the window to grab the garments you wanted before driving to the till.

So what is left within the town centre. Well exactly the same shops only with gaps all over the place and horrendous traffic problems because no one can park. Disabled people generally slap their cars anywhere they can as they seem to assume that having a blue badge means they are immune to the rules of the law, the highway code and sometimes physics. Different buses whip around in different directions not really helping anyone but the company that runs them (whilst some greedy cunt firms like FIRST BUS slap ANOTHER massive increase on their fares when inflation is bugger all and their company made MILLIONS last quarter, I hope the entire management of FIRST CUNTING BUS die.  And their families. In nasty accidents all involving cheese processing equipment).

Why not tear down these “town centres”. Replace them with something else. How about an amusement park in each town. Or a model village. Or some useful shops that aren’t exactly the same as the ones out of town only smaller.?

You see that is the trouble. You go to the Mall and what do you find. Smiths, M&S, Burtons, Next… hang on we have all those in the High Street, you can’t park easily and cheaply but you do save the travel fare to Cribbs Causeway AND if you go shopping on Christmas Eve you won’t get grid locked into a car park for six hours and end up having to sleep in your glove compartment. Ooooh and look, a little shop. Run by an old guy and his wife who sells things you need rather than tat that you don’t want (The Pier, Galleries Bristol, I am staring at you right now, there should be no such shop).

If only the “cunt”cil could sort out the parking and maybe put in a park and ride… or is that too easy.?

(Miss (I assume) Ashmore who writes in the Mercury this week… May I suggest contraception rather than rehousing in future.? Seven kids you may have but before you pop out anymore can I stop paying my tax so that you can get a bigger house.?)

On another note I did a little wine tasting last night. Loved it. Free wine and education as well. Cider tasting night next. Cannot wait . Bond’s Wine Bar, where the Town Cryer used to reside (or the Bristol and Exeter hotel if you are double my age). Try it.!

Ah and I watched Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince too. What a rollercoaster of emotions.! Sigh.

Time to go I think. There is one more Lemon Mousse bar with my name on it.!

This entry was posted on Friday, August 14th, 2009 at 8:30 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.