Afternoon my crazy bunch of people who should know better and are probably working as you have no skills and mostly exist in the shite we call retail…
…which is where I normally am but for the day off I am enjoying courtesy of a trip to Taunton for a course on Thursday. Good day that was, let me tell you.! Late in, early out, train rides, and a blister on my left heel that pissed me off all the walk back to the station. Arse. Oh well. Although I did notice a couple of things on my travels…
Firstly there was a surprising lack of Freisian cows, the classic black and white wee beastie that we are all so used to. Damn Germans.! Anywho, apart from a field or two of our monotone mooing friends, all the others were browner than brown. Guernsey, Jersey and Dairy Shorthorn (I think, look I was on a 158 doing 75mph, it wasn’t like I could get out and check.!) were in abundance in fields along the way. I am guessing this is something to do with the populace pushing for more diverse foods and maybe farmers enjoy a little more money for the creamier milk these breeds tend to give.
The second thing I noticed was a sign on the platform at that armpit of the West known as Bridgwater. Now I don’t know if this was a standard sign used on all stations owned by that formible pile of bastards known as Firstgroup or if it was a specific notice detined to only be used in a place where sisters and brothers are a lot closer than the rest of the country (except Nottingham and Norfolk obviously). It read “The use of cycles, skateboards, rollerskates, rollerblades and scooters is forbidden on this station”.
Seemingly innocuous yes.? Well I didn’t think much about it until my brain loaded properly and it struck me… why use the word “cycles”.? Why not bikes, a term now far more commonly used… UNLESS they were worried that a mob of circus bound lads all riding unicycles might slip unwanted onto the up platform and start fuggling (I mean juggling but I missed typed the letter ‘j’ and I liked the new word I made) with their balls…
BUT and it is a big but. Not as big as the arse end of that fat lass who was in our shop yesterday just quite large. But, what happens if someone rides in on a penny-farthing.? Or a tandem.!?! Mayhem could ensue and tottering Victorian style gentlemen would be most annoyed by being told things by the conductor of the next stopping DMU such as “dismount young sir”, “no time for that my lord” and “how the fuck am I supposed to get that in the guard’s van”.
Weird.
So what is tonight.? Tis Saturday once more and I am not going out AGAIN. Restraining myself from spending any more than I need to this month and so I shall be unable to attend the works do scheduled for tonight and shall be spending a barbeque with the family whilst Chili enjoys her Mexican and then work tomorrow followed by the BTCC.! Hurrah.! So I shall see you later yes.? Good. Byeeeeee.