So here we are, here we are, here we are again… (have I already done that one).?

Monday is over and there are just six days left to the finale of the 2008 Formula One season and I don’t know about you but I am shitting bricks worrying about The Ham and his chances. I just get the feeling SOMETHING will go wrong when it shouldn’t. Think 1994 with Damon and the Kraut, think Hungary 1997 with Damon once again and that bloody O ring costing him the second greatest race of his life (his first being that amazing drive in Spa to take Jordan’s first Grand Prix win in terrible conditions that lesser men failed to conquer oh and the classic 1986 Australian Grand Prix and THAT incident with Mr Mansell and his fucking back wheel.

I am going to be a total nervous wreck by the end of that race I tell you.!

I bumped into my dear friend Baz earlier and thought I would give him a mention on here to say hello and come back soon mate… this time you can serve when I have the broom up my arse, hehe.

Bagpuss is the choice for viewing in my house at the moment and it is rather nice sound to just be typing and reading while it plays in the background. Oliver Postgate really did a grand job of making the stop frame animation series just perfect for young and old alike. Really transports me back to the early eighties and my younger years.

The clocks have now turned back and although I gained an hour in my dreams on Sunday night I am still not happy with the amount of snow we aren’t having yet. Call me impatient but I want it white NOW not later. Cuddled up to watch Watership Down with Chili last night, against my better judgement, and actually thought it was rather good. Chili was not happy as I didn’t blub my eyes out when Hazel got shot. I was more interested in working out if it was a Mark One Land Rover near the start. Ho hum, such is me.!

Almost time to dip my backside in the bath I think. I am hoping to get my haircut tomorrow (with work permitting) we shall see. As John Craven used to say, “We will be back tomorrow”, DadaDAdadaDAAA dadadadadada.

Ooooh late one tonight, after an earlier “Recruitment Evening” at work which meant I had to go in on my day off. Oh well. Well done to those newbies who got in though, was an interesting bunch.!

I am currently sat, sans clothing, with my bits hanging out for anyone to see who cares to look (primarily Chili but if Miss Beeny wanders over then who knows what could occur).!

I had a good plucking earlier, on the guitar obviously, and it made me realise just how much I miss playing it… shame it came from my workplace years ago, hence the shite workmanship and lack of any kind of sophistication with the electronics or any other part. Sigh. I need to buy a new one as although this one has seen me through many years of casual playing I could do with an instrument where the knobs don’t keep falling off (steady on), the forth and sixth strings don’t detune themselves within minutes of me fiddling them into perfection and the scratch plate doesn’t tilt on it’s own.

Been spending plenty of time on WoW with this new patch… learning the inscription skill was bloody marvellous fun along with changing my mage from mining to herbing (requiring me to tit around Elwynn, Westfall and very soon Duskwood to get my skill high enough. Any one needing low level glyphs on Nordrassil then please message Arnatolus and I will see what I can send you.

Part Troll by Bill Bailey is currently playing on the old DVD player and I am still 100% sure it is THE funniest stand up show I own. Bob Monkhouse, Alan Davies and Ricky Gervais (only with Animals) come very close but Mr B has got a certain edge that no one else seems able to grasp. Maybe it is his random wordage, the love of odd ideas and the fulfillng humour that he has that satisfies my desire to watch it again and again. Throw in a rather astute Fraiser impression and it’s a total winner.

I have nothing much to rant about tonight, which is odd, but then again I have started looking at the B3ta page again so I am sure it will be back soon.

And so from me… goodnight.!

As Arkwright would undoubtedly say as he mused over the unsold fruit and veg lying astride his shop door way, “It’s been a funny sort of a day”. It has actually. No idea why. Amusing moments at work include a certain Loz COVERING and I mean totally splattering the walls, floor, door, window, cups, fittings etc of the staff room with tomato soup in a failed attempt to replace a tin opener with a standard butter knife, and actually that is the ONLY amusing thing that happened at work. Oh, unless you count the coleslaw from last night coming back to haunt me repeatedly (and the other unlucky staff (sorry guys in the stockroom)) through out the day.

I did spot something I wanted to rant about on Google news earlier…

Sony, those people who I really don’t like much and who I defended last year when they used scenes from a church “oop north” in one of their games have been told off by the Muslim community for using two lines from the Koran, such as it is, in the background music to one of their newest titles.

Obviously they did exactly the same as with the offended Christians and told them to sod off, it’s only a fucking game, get a life you tosspots.

Err sorry, no they didn’t. The game has been instantly pulled and millions of Allah praisers have been grovelled to by Sony and promised a reworked version WITHOUT the offending musicy bits in it.

Hang on… Why.??? Surely the most fair thing to do was leave the game as it was and maybe include a free booklet entitled “put up with it or fuck off” inside, full of ideas on how to shut the hell up and learn that religion is like everything else in the world… open to interpretation by others. I don’t care what beliefs you have but if someone insults them having insulted another faith then surely that makes it all fair and square and you can all get your heads back down and carry on your lives without worrying tooooo much that someone has borrowed two lines out of what is basically propaganda to use in a computer game IN THE BACKGROUND. Hell, the Bible gets bits pinched all over for games, bits from adverts (despite the apparent ban on that sort of thing) and inclusion in iffy songs. So why can’t you put up with that.? More importantly, why the bloody hell did Sony wimp out faster than you could say exploding luggage.???

Is religion still such a taboo.? It never was years ago, but you have to be fair about these things…

Personally I will take the piss out of anything. I don’t care how sick, taboo, backward it is, I am fair. If I see something I can laugh about then so be it, laugh I shall, what I won’t be doing is caring what people think of me for having those thoughts and saying those things about the world.

And for all that I shall leave you with one thought…

Why are disabled toilets the only cubicle big enough to run around in.?
(Thanks to the sickopedia for that one).

Wow, has it been almost a month since my last blog.? I must be slipping again.!

Well I am back at work. My back is being described as “interesting” by Doctors in the same way that my jokes are described as “toss” by my girlfriend (Love you Chili). I should point out that although I am back at work I am not currently typing this at work. That is unless you are reading this in France, where I must point out you probably have garlic all over your keyboard by now.

Two days to the Chinese Grand Prix. Last weekends was ridiculous. AGAIN.! The Ham made a daft move at the first corner and that cost him the race. Massa took him off by driving over the grass and he was handed a drive through, as was the Ham for his first corner attempts (which I think was a bit harsh considering the sort of thing that normally goes on at the first corner, especially at a hairpin (see Spa for instance.!) and Massa could have just been cautioned or something (although his move did damage the Ham’s car floor and side pod, ruining his race, Kimi however just drove over the grass and came in third). Later in the race Massa hit Bordais and SOMEHOW managed to gain a place when the young Toro Rosso driver was given a 25 second penalty and pushed out the points.

Now the F1 website plonked a nice vid up of all of these incidents and having reviewed it REALLY carefully I cannot believe Massa was not the one penalised.! Bordais was quite right to hold his line, he was fighting for track position. Massa was no more than three feet ahead, nose wise, into the corner and turned in on Sebby, giving him bugger all room.! Bordais quite rightly said “what the hell was I supposed to do, lay him a red carpet.?”. Anything to give the Ferrari an extra point at any cost I suppose.!

Been one of those days today. I have done sod all this evening. Except spending the best part of two hours looking through the new stuff on WoW and wondering how on earth I can do the back achievements on my level 70. If anyone can offer me a decent guild I would be very welcome.! Mail to the usual address please.

Oooh, just thought of something I haven’t done for ages… my hit results. Been a long time since I looked through those, ready you guilded bunch of sexy gits.?

“browny yellow discharge from anus in men” – It really worries me sometimes that I get this sort of hit. Why me.?
“soweto big bum porn” – Is this not an African township, with MASSIVE cheeks.?
“i would like to drink turpentine” – Errr, please just buy some Coke, Sprite, ANYTHING but necking paint stripper.??? Who are you.? George Best.!?
“bouncing breasts on the train & bus” – Something for everyone I think in there… well just me then.!
“porn twins on jeremy kyle” – I had a feeling this would be in here somewhere. But they were funny looking (and sounding, whyaye mon).

Think I better stop there, the other things even made ME gag.!

I did happen to see if I could slip another letter into the Mercury… missed this week… so maybe next. Here we go with the letter. I had to change a couple of words. Apparently saying cunt in a letter to a family newspaper is frowned upon. Weird that…

“Dear Sir…

Weston has two main routes out of town. The heavily used Link Road and Locking Road. Currently the Link Road is having a few repairs and renovations done and so a lot of traffic is being forced to use Locking Road. All simple so far…

So why in the name of all things insane has some fool decided to put roadworks at the junction of Locking Road and Hutton Moor Road and installed those god-forsaken temporary traffic lights (when the junction would probably be more safe without any signal control at all, watch when Drove Road/Locking Road lights fail, no queues). Is it too easy to wait until the Link Road is finished and there aren’t several thousand swearing drivers sitting in their cars pumping out fumes and gnashing their teeth.

Does no one at the ivory tower that is the Town Hall talk to anyone else or are blinkers the height of fashion for our town staff.?

Fluffy Bunny. News at Ten, Reading.”

Take it easy peeps, I shall tickle your fancy again soon. If I get my tickling stick back from the cleaners in time.!