You know when you enjoy playing a board game… but KNOW that it doesn’t matter what ever you do you ARE going to lose… well last night I suffered one of THE most humiliating and total defeats in the history of my associations with Spears Games. Imagine I was Hitler and my opponent was Stalin, well I didn’t commit suicide as the forces of Communism approached Mayfair (with a hotel), I just capitulated when I owned nothing at all on the board and landed on Park Lane (also with a hotel) and my worldly belongings were sold out from underneath me.
And all this at 3.30am… at least I had biscuits to keep me lively.!
Been a bit moist today has it not.? Nothing quite like a load of soggy Brummie parents and their odious offspring wandering around your shop saying “Oawwh look Frank, a taoster”… no not bad spelling just the way it really sounds. It is obviously half term, which just leaves the summer holidays to look forward… hundreds of the little fuckers covering the town along with half of Cardiff. Genius.
I may have had one of my odd thoughts earlier. You remember that book I mentioned I got for Christmas last year… “Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit”.? Yes.? Good. Well I am talking about the second one not the original version. The first was great, funny, perfect for me. But having spent a couple of years perusing the second book… well I think I am ready to finally review it.
I have to admit I think that something has been omitted from the whole sorry book. In between “iPod Wages” and “It’s A Royal Clearout” should be the entry “Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit, Book Two”. Rather than the brilliantly written and coyly pointed out chapters within the excellent first edition, it is filled with annoying, badly thought out listings. Now I am aware that it is actually remarkably difficult to fill even a leaflet sized bit of paper with “things I hate”, I know I have tried it, but if you do write a first book then for goodness sake make sure you have enough material for a second. Having titles within like “Estate agents going to war for their customers”, now that is wank.
Sue, hello my love, thank you for that story, I had not seen it until you pointed it out, then it appeared in the tabloids next day, note – I don’t read the tabloids, I use them to set fire to homeless people and the odd foreigner. What a weird idea though… selling a car with a free gun. Obviously this was in the US of fucking A. Now I was actually surprised by this. Surely if you are trying to sell a car in America then the easiest way to get customers is to supply some kind of food stuff. I would suggest a few pies and some root beer. Not only would this allow more time with the customer to sell those important add on sales such as reinforced suspension parts, hardened titanium seat mountings or steering wheels with turkey leg holders, but it would also invigorate the return market as those fat buggers end up eating their own vehicles and have to purchase another one soon after the original sale.
But seriously… the Yanks moan about all these school kids getting shot and stuff like that but they still allow sales of guns and weapons do appear everywhere. Ok, knife crime is pretty bad in this country but at least we have some form of control over the sales of knives. Do remember that both the UK and the US have the ridiculous problem of parents who allow their kids to watch whatever the hell films they want, or play every game on the market that shows an 18+ rating but then complain when Janet Jackson’s nipple pops out briefly.
If you don’t want you child to grow up mental then restrict their environmental exposure to violence and sex…. not JUST sex. I will admit that watching a film about killing isn’t going to make you into a murderer, some of us just like it anyway, but over exposing a 9 year old to GTA 4 is just ridiculous and BOUND to cause problems.
Lovely. Well it is time for me to depart now. Pizza needs to be ordered, hugs given/taken, abuse metered out. See you all later.!