I thought I would bang in a quick one before I go bathe myself into a steamy mulch in the tub and then head into town to fill myself stupidly full on chinese with Chili… now where shall we begin.?
Boris Johnson got in as Mayor of ‘Ole London Town then. Should be a very interesting thing to watch. He will either actually make a difference or balls it up so badly that the townsfolk will drag him to Traitor’s Gate and chop his blonde, fluffy bonce off.! Glad Red Ken has been ousted more than anything. That cheerily spooky face and that horrid voice always made me want to remove his legs with a rusty bread knife.
Advertisers on TV have thankfully been told off about using compressed soundtracks to their ads which means Fluffy hits the mute button everytime the break starts. I can only assume the same people who used to do the sound checks on Top of the Pops now work for various ad agencys across the UK and are not only tone deaf but stupid as well. I have my TV turned down very low, my hearing is excellent, but even I end up knocking it down a bit more when an advert appears. Why do it.? Why.?? How would you like it if I came round your house and fiddled with the volume on everything each time you went to bed… Imagine getting up in the morning to find I had made the ping on the microwave so loud it shattered your kitchen window everytime the Super Noodles finished cooking. Perhaps I should ramp up the fan on your PC to make you believe you are being repeatedly buzzed by three squadrons of Spitfires. Or maybe I could change the noise your clock makes so each tick is like the sound of a very fat dead man in hob nail boots WALKING ON YOUR FUCKING GRAVE.
*Breathes*
Victoria Wood is marvellous isn’t she.? So much amusement from one so small. Be it stand up, Dinnerladies or her sketch shows she just sets herself one step above other comediennes by just actually being funny and taking jokes other people would consider rather “under the radar” and makes them work. How many times would you laugh if Ricky Gervais started saying things about Nylon or bicycle clips.??? Not many I would be willing to bet.
*****LATE NEWS*****
I am home, too hot, full of chinese and with company… enjoy 