After posting that long list of annoyances I have over my darling customers the other day, I have had a few more added, mostly by Chili through gritted teeth, but a couple more from other people and my own thoughts.

So do you want them.?? Do you.???? Here girl *whistles and slaps thighs* Come on.!!

Right then, four more AAARRRGGGGHHHH moments to enjoy, listen up folks…

You stand in a queue in a shop. You are ONLY there for the SOLE reason of making a purchase. You have a little slip of paper in your sweaty paw and you have already checked it is in stock. For some reason, maybe it is busy, perhaps we can’t be arsed to have more than one till on and you are waiting in the queue for a few minutes. As you slowly shuffle forward amongst a myriad of single mothers, the unemployed and the elderly you sigh repeatedly at the waiting time. Then finally you burst forth into freedom, the next till space is all yours. As you head towards my smiling/scowling face you instantly complain about the long wait. I type your details into my till and then ask for your payment AND THEN YOU PISS AROUND FOR FUCKING AGES TRYING TO FIND YOUR PURSE. You have stood in that queue for nigh on a quarter of an hour but you haven’t got enough common sense to have your card or cash ready. Why is that so.?? Why moan that we kept you waiting but you haven’t actually got the courtesy to ready yourself for the bit you have been queuing for.! You are the sort of person I want to rip to shreds with my teeth; you really don’t deserve to be out of the house EVER.

If I’m serving someone… talking to them about a product maybe or perhaps on the phone helping someone who isn’t able to get to the store then please understand I will not help you no matter how much you wave at me, repeatedly say my name or bang on the counter. If you wish to wave at me then I might wave back politely or I might flick the V’s and mouth the word “retard” at you… if you want to repeatedly shout my name then I will usually be up for a quick shag after work where you can holler it until your throat falls out and your lungs collapse. If you bang on the counter then it is very likely you will annoy me and the second I finish with that customer I will find some excuse to ignore you and leave you to your own devices. To the woman who came up and talked over me whilst I was on the phone a while back… if MY lips are MOVING then YOU don’t get a reply other than the flat of my hand held up in your face, which seemed to annoy you, and a shake of my head. Idiot.

Manners cost nowt in the world. I spend eight hours at a time on a till or somewhere and I have to be polite to you sods. Even if I have had a really bad day, some puppies have drowned in front of me, Labour have won another bloody election, it doesn’t matter. If I am miserable then you don’t usually know because I am so good at having to hide it. I always say thanks/cheers/please/hello/goodbye because unlike you I have some intelligence and courtesy. If you want to buy a toaster then fine, but when I try and sell you a little insurance or something to go with it, as is my job, then rather than snap “NO” in my face, just say “No thank you”. It’s a lot easier being nice to me than finding your toaster is broken when you get home.

And finally…

Under consumer law you have a reasonable expectation of a product to last a certain amount of time depending on the price. Buy a Tesco Value kettle for £2.48 and you will GET a Tesco Value kettle. If it last ten months then you have had your monies worth so don’t worry about it. If it breaks then bin it and splash out on a new one.

If you spend £10 on an item with a lifetime guarantee then how long should that last.? A lifetime, sounds unreasonable for the price, if you want something to last then dip your hand in your pocket and pull out more money. I buy decent stuff like Mp3 players and my TV because I know in the long run it will save me having to spend on a new one. You buy a £200 Bush LCDTV and it might last a few months, you then buy another at the same price. Why not spend £300 on a JVC or Samsung LCDTV and not buy another one until a good few years later. It makes sense. Save up your dosh and THEN buy the stuff.

EYE THENK EWE.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 14th, 2008 at 11:22 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.