Pheeeeeeeewwwwww. No I have not “blown off” and I am certainly not wafting it around with an old Cinnamons menu.
I am instead refering to the incredible race I have just watched on TV… Yes the Japanese Grand Prix from Fujiyama in Japan. The last time this track featured in the F1 world championship it was 1976 and a certain Mr James Hunt in awesomely bad conditions managed to win a very hard race against Niki Lauda, who having just survived a serious crash and fire in Germany a few months earlier, pulled out early on. Lauda suggested that his life was more important than the world championship (he did win it three times to Hunt’s once though) but then again he did return to his F1 car just six weeks after surviving the inferno that engulfed his Ferrari at the Nurburgring.
This time however, it was a race in awesomely bad conditions with Lewis Hamilton taking a very classy pole in the damp yesterday and Alonso following in behind. Starting behind the pace car (for NINETEEN LAPS) with a couple of odd incidents RE the Ferrari’s ‘ignoring’ the instruction to wear extreme wets (resulting in a fair few slips) The Ham just drove it away. Kept out of trouble, despite an attempt from Kubica which knocked him spinning, until Alonso slammed it into the wall at turn five. Leaving a tight end to the race after a safety car again. But 10 points are his. All his. Putting him 12 points ahead of Alonso. Now he just needs a fourth place… and another fourth place even with Alonso winning both times.
I had my fingers crossed for SEVENTEEN laps. They ache.
*****LATE NEWS*****
And now a quick round up of this month’s search hits…
“Burkha wedding dress” – The only wedding dress with a veil that you can’t take off. Ever.
“Lebonan tits” – Or the Palestinians as we call them.!
“Straight men wank money chav” – One of the more specific types of porn.!
“Where to be naked in Brean dunes” – Preferably away from me and away from small kids. Maybe.
“Brown scat viedo production uk” – As opposed to what colour.?
“I love a wank” – Is that a search term or just a statement of content.?
“Image pictures of licence for private hire vehicle in london” – Now does that seem a little suspect to me.? Create your own licence.?
“Weston super Mare trannies” – Ah yes. Radios… Thousands of ‘em.
“CITV kids show with talking bum” – Now there is a show i don’t remember.!!!
“Hobbits and a ringpiece download” and “Hobbits and a ringpiece” – I… I… I… have no idea.!
“Ian Browns wank new single” – Yes, that is sadly how he ended up. Oh well.
“Asda testing on animals” – By testing do you mean ‘forcing cheap pies down throats’ and by animals do you mean ‘fat single mothers from housing estates around the town’.?
“Bristol wanking group” – Do you think each city has one.? Bath Wanking Group would be interesting.
“Wanking with my mates” – Would this be as part of the above group or just in the park when you are bored.?
“Cabbage smell underfloor – Someone call the Police… we have the vegetarian version of Fred West here… either that or a special school has refurbished their basement.
“Wanking holiday camp” – Butlins. For Bill Clinton. Genius.!
“Spotty donger” – Anyone here have one.? No.? All clean then.? Lovely.
“Why does my gear stick wobble on my saxo” – Because according to another hit I got, your overweight and overly tracksuited girlfriend keeps sliding it up her Jacky Danny.!
“What is up with the aztec tribe these days??” – Well aside from being wiped off the planet by a load of greasy Spaniards back in the 18th century, it isn’t doing too bad. Knob Jockey.!