Ok almost the end of the month so stupid searches time.!
“Stop bum sweating” – Now this I could use. On a night out. Because having rivulets of dew dripping down your ring isn’t nice.!
“Rash time angel video musical” – Sounds like a seriously nasty sexually transmitted disease caught on film.!
“Slipped and fell in woolworths wet floor” – Quick, sue them.! You must be worth something. No.? Oh well.
“Knob up her arse pictures” – I knew your Mum would get on the net sometime dude.!
“Greggs nightclub” – Imagine it. Chavvy overweight single mother’s dancing in boob tubes and short skirts, flopping their fat to the beat whilst both they and their fetid offspring scoff themselves stupid on iffy sausage rolls.
“Beverley callard pictures to wank over” – I think we have all wanted this at sometime in our lives. Except me perhaps. Now Jim MacDonald pics… that would be different. So it would.
“Teletubbies get killed” – Meh, been there, done that, connected them to the IRA, had them beat up the Tweenies.
“Asda are bastards to work for” – Well you should have guessed that when you notice they have “huddles” and are owned by a bunch of Wanky-Yanks.!
“Looking for hairy cunts in south london” – May I suggest Bill Oddie. Or perhaps Rory Magrath.? Or even Brian Blessed (met him you know.!)
“Barclaycard bastards” – Firstly note their APR, secondly note that the are run by Barclays bank. I had an interview for them one day. Then they called me in for a second one because they were too stupid to know I had already had one.!
“Bizmark battle ship” – Pedant hat on… It was a POCKET battleship.
“Whelks delivered” – As opposed to Whelks to collect only.
“Big old heavy pendulous tits” – Oh lovely. Just what I always wanted. Big heavy ones I can cope with but OLD.??? Christ.!
“‘Virgin voyager’ crime” – I think that sums that up very simply.
“Where can i buy a red eyeliner pencil in hertfordshire?” – Loaded question that.!? Aren’t they all trannies there.?
“xxxxxxl undies” – I ran this through google… they are HUGE.!
“Line of men wanking free” – Instead of “line of men wanking for $29.99 every thirty days unless you cancel your card bill.
“Videos my wife car playing gear stick” – Playing with it.? Is it big and shiny. With a lever to lift for reverse.?
“Saxo fuse layout” – Easy. Fuse one controls your fuck ugly girlfriend Tasha. Fuse two controls the brakes that stop you from going over the edge of the toll road. You do NOT need this one, bin it. Fuse three controls how many times someone is going to carve the word “cunt” into your offside wing with his house keys. Leave that one in.
“Wombles dozing” – Aww Poor Tomsk. Sleepy. Lying dozing on a bench on Wimbledon Common. Oh dear… isn’t that ex Labour MP Ron Davies wanking over his furry face. Oh Ron. Dirty boy.! Go and wash and brush it out Tomsk.!
“Ian huntley’s mum” – We love her. She spawned a man who SHOULD be used for chemical experiments.
“First great western hst carriage seat” – Not just me that thinks they are designed by wankers. But in FGW’s actual words “These changes have not only been in response to customer feedback but also because we wanted to provide a comfortable journey experience. We are confident that this has been achieved.” Errr no. You have made it more akin to travelling on a prison train. Change them back or I stop paying for fares.
That’ll do Donkey…. that’ll do. For now.!