You see it isn’t that I enjoy spam mail. No, no, no. It’s more because of my dislike of stupid people that I HATE spam.
Let me explain. I have two email addresses. One I use a lot but doesn’t get used on forums and one that does. Guess which one gets spam.? The forum one of course. Now the ONLY reason I can see that spam mail was invented was purely because stupid people look at it’s contents. Some might actually buy stuff from them. If they DO then I personally hope their credit card details and identity are passed around every Russian website in existence.!
Perhaps it is more the mentality of “Oh look, someone has mailed me. Who is Chloe696969.? Haven’t heard of her but she MUST be okay because she is sending me an email from a hotmail box” *click* “Oh, now she IS a talented girl”. Sad lonely men aside I hate to even contemplate the sheer avalanche of shite that a first time email user must get when they find one of those little boxes on a website that says “type email address here”.
And this is what I can’t get my meaty little brain around… in real life if you see an advert in a copy of The Sunday Sport would you send them your home address for them to bury your dog three days later when a shower of shit reams it’s way through your letterbox.? No, you wouldn’t. If you are filling in a form and it says at the bottom “If you wouldn’t love to be innundated with pieces of glossy paper, little windowed envelopes, money off coupons for shops that only exist in Latvia and advert books containing nothing but sex phone line numbers then please tick this tiny box here. If you would enjoy all of the above then just send the whole damn lot back to us and on Wednesday your postman will have a hernia bringing all your rubbish to your front door”. Doesn’t usually happen. I say usually because I have people sign forms at work and they NEVER read the small but very obvious print that says about not getting stuff from our company OR other “reputable” companies.
So if you don’t do it in real life then why allow yourself and, by proxy, every other poor sod in the world, to be spammed senseless every day of their online lives.!?! THAT is what gets my goat, not that people send me spam but because there is a MARKET for the damn stuff.! Oh and for the record, I do not want my penis to be any bigger, I do not want to see Samantha licking Janet’s ringpiece and I certainly do not want anything to do with Dale Winton’s nuts (wasn’t spam, just a general statement that one).!
Meanwhile back at the Tory Bat Cave…
Which retard employed a disgraced ex-editor of the News Of The World as a bloody spin doctor for the Conservative Party.?? Isn’t that a bit like employing Fred West to sort out the landscaping in a nunnery.? Or perhaps slipping Ed Gein into the Birmingham branch of “World of Leather”.! He is DISGRACED… does that word mean nothing to you Mr Cameron.!?! Tch.
Paul MacCartney has hit out at Big Brother saying “I won’t watch something that celebrates mediocrity”. Well said Sir. Now lend us a couple of hundred quid will ya.? Please.??
Well I have just finished my last of two courses down in sunny Taunton, and I have been let out for good behaviour. Oh, and the three girls who were sat on the table opposite me on the way home… shut up. Just stop talking. Why can’t you all have taken a holiday in Portugal when you were all three years old.! And the bird with her two chavvy boys at Highbridge… I bet you have a fanny like a badger with a slit throat.!
So now I have two whole weeks of nothing but Ian, DownLoad (BABY) and looking at cute women. Brilliant.! I have a new top and will be out tonight, drinking until I cannot feel my legs. Just call me Douglas Bader.!!! See you all later I hope.!