I read a lot. People are never surprised to hear that. I am high in the “full of bloody trivia” table and I absorb information like a sponge. On an irrelevant note, I am sure you know how much I love to know everything about everything (except three main areas, iffy American import TV drama programmes such as ‘West Wing’, ‘Lost’, ‘24′ and ‘Nip and Tuck’. I also don’t care for the history of Opera or Religion).
Now in my travels I search for bits of data that fill in the small gaps in my head. You know how you sometimes see something in a book and you wonder how it actually was in real life. Well whilst reading the insightful Berlin by Anthony Beevor the other day I was struck by the image of the katayusha rocket launcher, nicnamed ‘Stalin’s Organ’ due to the noise it made when firing. This was over fifty years ago now so how on earth can I understand the noise made by the thirty-two rockets stuck on the top of a truck being fired all at once. Thankfully the internet has provided me with the youtube.com website and some little genius has a small 6 seconds of footage of the launchers with sound. Go and have a quick look.
Impressive.? Well now go and imagine being on the receiving end of fifty vehicles worth of rockets, stuck in a little German foxhole, along with normal tube artillery firing continuously for over two hours at a time.! Just the sound broke men, tore them apart both physically and mentally. I can’t even begin to picture the horror of hearing the firing of a battery and knowing what was to come seconds later.!
And keeping knowledge and the internet in mind shall we have some more amusing search referers.? Yes.? Oh right then…
“Fuck mates” As in “fuck buddies” or “should I screw my friends.?”
“black dudes in their cars stuck in mud videos” Now I am sure we all have strange things that turn us on but on the grand scale of erectile weirdness this one rates very high.!
“oap with big tits” Nothing like a photo of Mother Teresa with a gigantic pair of pendulous mammaries. Or maybe the Queen holding her titties together whilst Prince Phillip rubs his nose between them.
“men wanking” Over cars.? In bed.? Oh just in general. Right ok then.!
“andrew beaton sailing” Very easy to make a navy gag here. Not sure if I should. The little camp boy might hit me.!
“ian baker is a bastard” Apparently I am a bastard. I don’t believe it. I know who my father is.! Most of the kids in Weston don’t know their father… some of their MUM’s don’t know who the father is either.
“men in bras photos” Ah the old sight of a sweating plumber from Stoke wearing a Playtex ‘Cross Your Heart’ boulder holder and smiling sweetly through a massively bushy moustache at a camera held by a station porter called Norris from just outside of Chester.
“vorderman flax cookie” No I really have no idea. Help me here.!
“i am seeing dave from street cars” What a proud boast.! Just one question… Who is Dave.???
“fucking polish immigrants” In my defence I have never fucked a pole. Or been fucked by one. Ah unless someone is unhappy to see so many Polish people infiltrating this country. Or maybe it is just a little annoyance at the Mr Sheen bloke.?
“i need a gram of cocaine” Just one gram.? And why look on the net.? Are you expecting to find a website with free delivery in your area.? Maybe Amazon can start flogging it.
“thick bastards” See, even my friends get a mention sometimes. Hehe. Nah I love you all really.!!!
More on some other occasion. I have an OXO cube to eat.!