Damn you tabloid journalism for I shall now have to defend the actions and reactions of a blooming politician, now how often do you hear me say that.? Yes I know I am a few days late on this one but I have the memory of an elderly, alzheimer’s ridden goldfish and it has only just popped back into my head.
Mr David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party… my party, well it was back in the 1980’s when Maggie was telling the trade unions to stick it up their collective arses sideways, since she left it has seen a terribly lack lustre procession of no-ones, has beens and sleaze ridden wannabes. Major (I am not inconsiderably amused), Hague (although he is forgiven for being funny as hell on Have I Got News For You), Howard (don’t even go there), Duncan-Smith (so bad they named him twice) the list seems almost endless. But now maybe we have someone willing to put themselves out there, take the ridicule and hold their head up high whilst all at labour seems to be draped in other people’s spouse’s underwear, illegitimate kids and dirty money.
So why does he need defending.? Well because a certain group of journalists have got hold of a story from when he was young involving drink, some pot and getting kicked out of school and he “will not denythe claims”. Wow.!
Big. Fucking. Deal.
What do I care if he was knocking back three bottles of JD a night and smoking more ganja than Bob Marley. I personally couldn’t give a mammoths arse if he was floating 18 foot off of the floor while licking Doris Stokes’ inside thighs every other Thursday night. He doesn’t do it any more does he.? Why in heaven’s name are they bothering with this.?!
Who would you want running your country more.? Someone who has done it all, had a good time, enjoyed life, tried things, but was now settled into a family with a steady home life and had the experience of all things or someone who has done sod all because they looked like a Harry Enfield character and now is gasping for the power so he can try drink, drugs and inserting gentlemen’s appendages into his bottom simply because he has led such a sheltered life up until now.
Leave the poor guy alone. If he makes a difference to the world and it becomes a nicer place to live then bargain, if not and he ends up with egg on his face then pull him to pieces then. Look at “clean living” Blair, a family man with good intentions who had a chance to make the country better and has pandered to liberals, asylum seekers and the “human rights” lobby, leaving the country in a total state and 21st (last) on a list of the World’s Richest Nations To Grow Up In.
So what does Davey boy have to do then.? Easy… Sort out the health service, drop all the silly debt worries and fire thousands of middle managers. That done, we go onto transport, re-nationalise the railways through the back door, fire the entire HSE and urinate on their bodies. Put all paedophiles on a prison boat along with the countries civil servants and sink it somewhere near Boscombe Bay. Take hold of a human rights protester and murder him in front of Cheri Blair whilst laughing. A lot. Defecate in the Princess Di Memorial Fountain. Put armed guards on all channel ports with a note to shoot all foreigners trying to enter the country with or without passports unless they have a career that doesn’t include bus driving. Tell the USA to fight it’s own wars and withdraw ALL our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan. Moon at George W Bush via video phone. Get Maggie Thatcher knighted. And finally, stop Tesco’s opening anymore fucking shops, tis like some kind of low quality plague.!