Arrrrrgh. Now I know I am repeating myself within a very small time scale. I don’t like repetition (unless it is Shakira repeatedly rubbing her gusset across the bridge of my nose) but I think here it is necessary. Someone hasn’t listened to me and needs to. So Mr “Boss Of Radio One”, open your lug ‘oles, pin back your eyelids and take this all in.

I. Hate. Chris. Moyles.

Something needs to be done about him. The fact his ego has it’s own postcode is slightly worrying. There is surely a limit to how arrogant and self-congratulating you can be and still maintain you are a normal person. The Saviour of Radio One.? Really.? No. The Saviour Of Radio One, was Matthew Bannister. I never thought I would say that but it is true. He fired Gary Davies, DLT, Simon Bates, Bruno Brookes (decent DJ’s in their own right but well behind the times in a way) and brought the younger listeners running back. He employed Mark and Lard and kept John Peel at the right time of day, late evening when his amazing voice would soothe you to sleep against a back drop of The Fall, Undertones and early Pulp sessions.

Now what do I wake up to.? Him and “Comedy” Dave (Comedy.? Are you totally sure that was the word you were looking for) rambling on about how his new home cinema system only works from two speakers instead of all five. I actually look forward to 10am when Jo Whiley takes over (don’t get me started on her.!!!) and I can remove the feeling of dirtiness that I pick up from Moyles’s show.

When I open my eyes in the morning I really don’t want the image of a chubby bearded hot head popping into my mind as my waking thought. I understand why he is on Radio, anyone who watched his Channel Five will have seen him and the shite that dribbles out of his mouth passing for words. What I simply CANNOT understand is why people like him. What do they enjoy in the pointless banter that bounces between him “Comedy” Dave, Rachel, Aled, Carrie and Dom.? Yes DJ’s talking rubbish on air is nothing new but Moyles takes it to a level higher than ever seen before.! Think of all the precursors of Moyles. Chris Evans. Steve Wright. Simon Mayo. All people who had a group of hanger on’s who added to the enjoyment by providing a change of pace to the lead DJ. In Steve Wright’s case he still does, hosting his Radio Two show with a compliment of 5 people at a time.! He doesn’t make me sit at work grinding my teeth and reaching for the nearest sharp employee to wang at the stereo. He is polite to his guests and fellow team members and has a pathological love for entertaining people and playing music. He holds the listener to his love of “being on the radio” in a similar way to how John Peel could make the strangest, most offbeat music prick your ears and make you listen.

THAT is being a good DJ. Not winding the nation up by getting some pointless celebrity to make Tarzan noises. Not driving people to the brink of smashing the living hell out of their £200 micro system purely by opening their mouth (not even Vernon Kaye has that effect on me).!

From a DJ I want to be able to laugh, be entertained, care about what they are discussing. Radio One is, predominantly, a music station, it should feature DJ’s who enjoy music, who find that they can use their privileged position to get other people liking new bands etc. It shouldn’t be a place to air every personal grievance that has ever entered your life. If you want to rant about something that is important only to you then GET A BLOG and do it there. Don’t clutter up the nation’s listening pleasure with stuff that really doesn’t matter to anyone but your spoilt self.

Now on Radio One… NO MORE MOYLES.

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