Please don’t read too much into this. It is more about me ridding myself of something that eats away it me…
I was looking at your photo the other day. It seems like a lifetime ago. You were a bitch to me but in those photos it was the start, the first time for all things. I had never felt like that before. How on earth did you turn into the monster I left in that car park that day. The photo didn’t seem real. I knew it WAS real because I am in it, holding you but underneath you could remember the problems that were there. And why.? Because you considered yourself to be better than me. Where are you now.? What are you doing.? I don’t care, although everytime I hear Pulp’s “Have You Seen Here Lately”, I think of coming back to your house in the dark, you won’t know the song because you don’t like my music. Meh.
I do think of you but it isn’t a nice thought. Even now it makes me angry. Makes me want to tell you exactly how I feel… Yes, this is the time… I wrote you letters but I have no idea if you read them. This is where I have my say… where I FINALLY get this off of my chest, that clawing feeling when your image hits my mind like a bus through a bun shop window.
So here goes.
I made a mistake. I accused you of something that was heresay. I was stupid and naive and I admit that. What you did, the way that you treated me from then on was horrible. Pathetic. Obscenely hurtful. I didn’t want to lose you but you made it impossible to be with you anyway. You dumped me, so be it. I understood that. But what happened after that was just pure malice, like I was being punished. Like you wanted me to hurt just because you did. My hate started there.
You know what.? Maybe I just had you because I had nothing better. Looking at the photos of you back then I realise just how far I have come. How amazing my girlfriend is now, just on looks alone in comparison to you.!
Yes I am a little bitter still, but the things you said to me and did to me were just totally unfair. I guess karma will even things up if they haven’t already. Knowing my luck you are now massively rich and after a LOT of plastic surgery have become Kiera Knightley. Then again last I heard of you you were still where we left off. No change. I haven’t changed that much… only as a person. I’ve grown. You are just a memory that I try to forget.
Maybe now I will.