Thank you to Hwang for the title, chosen in Phoenix on our Friday night out.
Firstly lets get last weekend out of the way…
Bar 4, Phonenix, Hobbits. Hwang drunk as hell, myself drunk as hell, Lemony drunk as hell. Rich and Tina even worse. Stew and Pouty turned up drunk as well and Lisa had to stay sober. Was a good night. Bit weird, but good.
Saturday was more subdued due to the fact I was shattered from the night before and feeling a bit rough. But a very reasonable weekend after all.
Now today. My head hurts. I am weak as a kitten and have no energy. I also have no idea what in hell is going on with my body, I guess I just see where I end up.
Lets have a little moan about something shall we…
Actually, it isn’t a moan. More like a thing I find fun to do. People are always going on about recycling, how it helps the environment, how it saves the world etc etc… but is it just me that gets just a little bit excited by the idea of not recycling.?
I just put a bean can in the bin… *stands back in open mouthed shock* and I don’t care. In fact, I enjoyed the idea that that can will fill in a little bit more of the countries landfill. Maybe I am keeping some dude in a huge tractor with big spiky metal wheels (the tractor not the dude) in a job.! Or perhaps those guys who drive dustcarts get paid by the ton and have to move as much as possilbe to make their wages up for Christmas.
Meh, who cares if the environment is a tiny bit more damaged. Who gives a newspaper shredding toss if I lump page after page of blank paper into the bin at work just because my company doesn’t recycle (think about that. 650 of me doing the same thing 365/366 days a year, that is a LOT of paper, hehe). How would we create more bits of the country if we didn’t use the landfill as reclamation waste. Wales might be smaller than it is now if we didn’t.! When they built the Channel Tunnel, Kent got bigger by about three square miles, ok we ended up joining ourselves to a country that eats bit of amphibians but even so, big engineering feat.
So next time you are hoovering over that green recycling tub with a coke can in your hand, feeling glum… walk back into the kitchen, slap it in the bin on top of those bits of orange peel and that empty fag packet and stand back… fill your lungs with air and shout “Fuck The Planet, Fuck The Hippies, Fuck Our Children.” Enjoy. And thank me later.!
Lastly, for now, Jordan (I always have a wry smile on my face when I think of her) has just launched her new range of underwear. Word of warning, we sell her jewellry at work, if the undies are as badly made, over priced and shitty as the cosmetic tat on offer in a High Street near you then after three minutes of wearing those knickers, the elastic will break, the gusset will droop and they will start to shrink.
She was a crap model, has the brains of a dead newt and can’t even give birth to a healthy child so what credentials does that give her to enjoy the endorsment of some badly made pants.!?