Whilst on the bus home earlier (note, we left town at the same time as a cyclist. Guess who got home first.? Yuuuup the fat dude on the push bike, hmmmmm) anywho, I noticed some young scallywag wandering alone the pavement wearing a t-shirt with the slogan “Made In England” emblazoned across it. Now, aside from the very obvious irony that the chances are it was stitched lovingly together in a sweat shop in Pakistan, can anyone else spot something there that sounds wrong.???

As your little grey cells slowly start to recognise where I am going, let me just save time and tell you. We don’t actually make anything any more. This once great land (uh oh I hear you cry, it’s another patriotic message from that Bunny dude) started the industrial revolution. The railway, jet propulsion, cruise liners, the battleship, the heavy bomber, computers they were all invented in Britain. Now what do we make.? Sod all, that’s what. And why.???

Because our lovely leaders have seen fit to make us into one of those lands where everything is soooo complicated and expensive that it is far easier to do things in “less restrictive” countries and ship everything in. Hands up how many of you drive a British car. Well apart from my dad that is about it (and his is a 1974 MGBGT so not exactly a new car). Now they are all built in the far east and washed ashore here on big ships.

Between VAT, income tax and the ludicrous Health and Safety laws it has ripped the heart out of quality Britain manufacturing. Here is a good example of the HSE taking the piss (and forcing insurance companies to make unreasonable demands). At work we usually store stock (in cardboard boxes) underneath our stairs, next to the main distribution boards for our electricity supply. We have done this for the past three decades to no complaints from anywhere, even fire inspectors. Now we have been told that we cannot store stuff there UNLESS it is placed on shelving. That is metal shelving but without backs to the shelves, so the boxes would still be exposed to “sudden sparks from the electricity in the event of a short circuit somewhere”. See how sodding stupid that is.!!!

And now the Germans want to split our country up into bits so places like Dover would actually be “in” France (not physically obviously, it would take way too long to ship all those illegal immigrants back to the mainland where they bloody come from).!!!

Once again we slip just a little bit closer to losing our national identity.

And as for the guy wearing the t-shirt. He looked like he had been made in Bridgwater…

…Or Rooksbridge.

Right people, this is yesterday’s blog but done today, with a hint of today’s mixed in. Try and keep up 007.! Oh and I shall be doing the entire blog today with a lisp.!

How wath everyoneth Thaturday night then.? I ended up going home early becauthe of my poorly tummy (I hadn’t eaten that mutch all day). Wath thtill a good night though. Big hugth to Lemony and Hwang and altho Vickth who wath there too, briefly. Hopefully necktht week thould be back to normal and I thall be out both Friday and Thaturday, although I am now working Thunday. Dammit. Oh well.

Today hath been a nightmare of a day at work. Buthy ath hell and only four of uth in the thop.!!! Wath totally ridiculouth. Thaw both Pouty and Harriet ath well ath being ambuthed by Lemony and her mum. Grrrr, I didn’t go THAT red.!!!

One quick rant before I wander off back into the ether…

Thchool Dinnerth. Kidth are chubby little fuckerth nowadayth. In the main they tend to eat thit and nowt elth. Tho thcools are only therving chipth on Fridayth and thingth like that. But up north one group of mumth are hitting back at the powerth that be and are flogging chipth and crithpth over the fenth to their rapidly exthpanding children.

THITH ith the article in the Daily Mail with a lovely photo of the three mumth that have been feeding crap to their kidth over the hedgth (ooooh film title name drop). Now would you like to have an arth that thaggy.??? It ith cauthed by EATING CRAP. You are what you eat, it ith true. Totally irrethponthible.

Thee You Thoon.!!!

It’th like having Elmer Fudd keeping a blog.!!!!

*****LATE NEWS*****

For Steph’s benefit, here is another rant of a more insanity filled variety. Well maybe…

Someone has finally got it right. Madrid Fashion Week enforced a new rule that models with a (BMI) body mass index of under 18 would not be allowed to parade their cheek bones on the catwalk. Genius. At long last a little being in a sweaty office had a good idea and stopped those horribly skinny models wandering into the limelight.

I may be rake like in my appearance but that is certainly not my fault. Nor am I a role model for a generation of pre-teens (oh if only, *sobs*, lol). Antonio Pernas, one of the designers had to change 18 of his models but supported the ruling. Stick thin women look generally nasty. Protruding cheek bones and looking like you wouldn’t even understand the word cake let alone know how to eat one is not the sexiest of looks. There are now calls to ban models that are so thin from other fashion shows around the world including here in the UK. Common sense at last.

Oh and THIS LINK HERE leads you to my favourite letter I have ever had posted in the paper. But they did leave off the last part which read “He is about as welcome as dysentry in a rowing boat”. Shame.!

One more addition to today’s… Imagine Hwang walking home and buying a fresh baked loaf of bread from a bakers shop. He explained it as pulling a bird called Breadita (Lemony suggested Breadna, hehe). I never did find out if he ate it or fucked it.!

I am postponing my usual write up of last night. Nor am I going to have a rant about something. Instead I want you to watch something. I want you to humour me on this.

You see, I was pointed in the direction of a documentary last night by a certain Mr Beaton. Now I am an open minded person. I like to think I am open to believing evidence, if it is presented to me. As well as that I think I am objective and happy to ask questions about things if I am not happy with the explanations I am given.

Before I go any further please spend some time watching either one of the two videos posted HERE and HERE. They are both about 1 hour 15 minutes long, but both contain bits the other has missed and they are two of the most compelling pieces of footage I have ever watched.

They both refer to the 11th of September 2001. They have been created by people in the USA who don’t like the evidence and reasons given by the US Government for the truth behind 9/11.

Now I am sure you will all shout “conspiracy theorist” and “geek”. I DO NOT normally support things like this, Roswell, JFK, Martin Luther King etc, etc, are all pretty straight cut for me. But today I watched the first of these two videos (called Loose change 2) and was actually shocked at what I saw. I have seen clear evidence that I cannot explain and even had a couple of things confirmed about my first impressions on the incidents on that day.

Ask yourself three questions before you watch it (the videos will fill in the gaps)…

The Pentagon… How can a plane travelling at 530mph and measuring 124 foot across, 44 foot high, create a hole only 16 foot wide in the front of the Pentagon without leaving ANY evidence of the wings, tail or engines on the eternal walls of the building.

WTC Towers… Why did both towers collapse so soon after being hit by the planes (103 minutes maximum) and why did they collapse in such a manner as to be a “controlled demolition”.

Pennsylvania… If United Airline’s Flight 93 crashed in a field, then why did a “Flight 93″ land around the same time at a nearby airport due to a “security risk” aboard that aircraft and how did a 130 foot long airplane simply vapourise when it hit the floor.?

I am personally CONVINCED this is the REAL story of 9/11. I urge you to watch both videos and judge the evidence for yourself.

(I should point out that in the first video when refering to the 1945 incident where a fog bound bomber crashed into the Empire State Building he means a B-25 (twin engined, propeller driven, medium WW2 bomber) NOT a B-52 (a cold war era, 8 engine jet propelled heavy bomber)).

Watch and be amazed. I was.!

You know who you are. This might sound a bit more like a myspace bulletin than a blog today. Hehe. Sorry but the pizza is cooking and I am on limited time until I feel that runny cheese dribbling down my chin… err Hwang, stop that. Put the cheese grater down and walk away.!!!

See if you find this a little sad. I talk to someone. They are my very good friend and we have a good time together. When I walk away some miserable looking person instantly asks if I had been talking about her.

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

I wanted you out of my life. Now you have gone and I am happy. I never ever have to talk to you again in person.

Because you suck. You screwed me over. You fucked another man behind my back.

But you dumped me to be happy with him.

And are you happy now…? Are ya.?

Well I have to admit, my Friday night event blog was a success. Although all I did was pull random crap out of my head and interweave it with the real events of Friday, I have had a lot of compliments about the stunning amount of bollocks I can spout. If you are on myspace then see tonight’s Troll bulletin for another example (Title – All Hail…).

Today I went to Cribbs for a first aid course. By half ten I was back in Weston, heavier by one MacDonald’s breakfast (still can’t quite get my head around their food, does it taste good or bad).? The course is in fact tomorrow, but Kim and myself enjoyed the morning off and the drive so it wasn’t all bad. Then after the course I have to come back and run a course of our own at my store. Great. Better slip in some food between 4.30 and 6 otherwise dinner won’t turn up until 9pm.!

D4 NDY. If you drive a blue M3 BMW (natch) with this reg then why not try spending a little less on the car and a little more on the hands free kit. Might save you weaving between lanes at 100mph+ while you chat up some well hung man in Norwich. I am guessing you are gay there because you had red leather seats and no straight man in the whole of the universe would have RED leather.! Bet you have a penis the size of a small radish anyway. Oh, and the snobby whore in the Range Rover (yes natch again, always a Beemer or a Rangey). Get off your bloody mobile, keep an eye on your horse box and move over when passing a slip road so the cars on it don’t have to stop. Next time you go out for a drive I hope you crash horrifically, leaving the horses uninjured but letting the vet that turns up shoot you in the head instead. Retards the pair of you.!!!

My tent finally went back to work today. As I hadn’t seen it since it got left in Braidy’s mums car in Coalville, it was a shock to meet up with it again. Such a big tent (6 man) and twas only me sleeping in it. Daft eh.!?

Congratulations to the woman who came into our place the other day during a busy moment and said “Can’t you get the woman who reads out the numbers to come down and help”.? All together now… *pokes tongue into bottom lip* Nnnnnnnghggggghghghgh… spathtic.

It is currently 8pm and I am considering supper. I have a deep pan pizza left that may survive the night. *Thinks* Actually I have just grabbed a cuppa and some heavily seasoned beef (yes Lemony, the same sort of thing I was eating at 3.15am on Saturday morning).

Time to go for now… going to go reread that Friday blog AGAIN. So damn funny. Even if I do say so myself.!

Good day people. A slightly bruised and remarkably pissed off Bunny here, joining you for the usual Sunday dissection of the night before. Was a very busy night actually.

I discovered a few things. Firstly Hwang cannot win a game of FIFA 2005 even if I have not been holding the controller for the last three quarters of the game. Secondly, forty something mothers can embarrass twenty something goths far easier than anyone else. Thirdly, leaning against a metal fence in thin trousers is detrimental to the temperature of your bum cakes.

Dominion was totally empty when we arrived last night. Twas only myself and Hwang til Sarah arrived closely followed by Kate and Stew. Had a couple of games of FIFA and then pretty much everyone else turned up. Lemony and Steph had been out for a meal with Nat and Dave, who sadly appeared without the red evening gowns (see previous blog post). Dan had been given a list of stuff he had to collect, including a 34C bra, a pink thong, one left shoe, earrings, lipstick, necklaces, a condom (I gave him that, unused) and a whole host of other tat and crap. Hehe.

Phoenix allowed us to sit out on the balcony and enjoy the remarkably warm night air. Terri arrived with her usual over sized bag, containing strawberries, two nectarines, an apple and an entire Honeydew melon.!!! Weird, but as a strawberry was on the list of Dan’s, strangely useful. Then four mothers on a night out from Cirencester wandered out and joined us, providing us with a lot of amusement and Dan with a heavy flow tampon (yes, on the list too). Watched the various iffy people wandering around and were briefly accompanied by, well, an under dressed slapper from BS23. She just needed a couple of illegitimate children and a dog on a string to complete the pikey image. Ewwwwwww.

Hobbits was really busy, what with all the Uni students going back this weekend. A little chav city though.! Had a few dances, gave a lot of hugs out. Met up with pretty much everyone I have ever known from Hobbits and said hello. I ended up getting a whack in the shoulder while trying to break up a fight outside. Was actually surprised at my own strength at being able to hold my mate away from the other guy. Unfortunately he was too drunk to think straight and the other guy had had a few too and wouldn’t walk away nor would his female friend (he has since apologised through myspace, so kudos to him).

So here I sit watching the Monza Grand Prix. Alonso has just gone boom and Kubica is in an amazing third place al on his own merit.!!! Well impressed am I.! Schumacher announces his retirement straight after the race.

I did have one problem last night though. I always had this very strange feeling I was being watched. How very strange. Must just be me (although I know it isn’t.!)

Oh almost forgot, some photos from Friday night…

Sarah And Ian Do It Again
Steph Smokes Away
Dan Enjoys Jim Biting My Face
Mandy And Steph Do Manhatton
Sarah And Steph Smoulder Away

Just over an hour to go to tonight’s activities begin. Had an amazing night last night. Was so much fun.!!! So to make it sound even better I shall be writing this entire blog with HUGE lies carpetted all over it in tribute to someone we all know and admire. See if you can spot the untruths or are you a gullible idiot who wouldn’t know the real truth if it jumped up and broke his glasses.???

Bar 4 first, Mr Moss presided over the first annual general meeting of the Turnip Lovers Society. Rich and Tina showed off their new breast implants. Mandy was wearing the world’s biggest necklace consisting of 14,000 separate pieces of cheese. I had taken off my trousers pretty soon after walking in the door and was almost thrown out, not because you could see my cock, but because the Bouncer thought my name was Margaret and Sarah had brought along her blueprints for the worlds first anti-gravity knitting machine. Beer was drunk and fags were smoked, laughter figured heavily and at one point three of us had to swap underwear to contain the excitement.

Then onto Balcony Bar. Stew caught up with us, sporting quite possibly THE most colourful hat of all time. It consisted purely of dark matter so was squashing his head down into his neck by 79% of it’s total mass. He brought along Jim (last year’s Miss World winner) and Kate, a woman so hairy that David Attenbrough once devoted an entire three month project to tracking her mating habits in the Amazon jungle. I didn’t drink the Smirnoff Ice so the stench of fishiness was averted. The music was pure 1990’s dance and loved it was. I didn’t touch up the barman but the end of my mobile phone was very turned on by his shirt.

Phoenix brought along Dave and Nat, both wearing exactly the same outfit (a stunning red evening gown and accessorised with a small green handbag). I assisted Giles in operating a small anti-aircraft cannon which quickly brought down three sleeping pigeons. They were quickly gathered up and given to Dan behind the bar to be forced into the JaegerMeister machine. Karl arrived and instantly called Lemony by the name Lisa. I cracked up. Lemony looked SERIOUSLY pissed off and Dave almost erupted in a Budweiser Geyser.! It was all taken in good humour though after Nat and I had pointed out that she was nothing like Lisa (that is not a lie actually).!!!

Hobbits was hot and humid. So much so that a small rainforest had sprouted between the VIG area and the dance floor. Machetes were handed out on the door and a small group of native guides were ready to lead us up to the top to get a drink and a seat. During one particularly torrential downpour, Jim was washed downstream and eaten by crocodiles and Simon the barman lost his shrunken monkey head to a rather cheeky raccoon. Steph did some dancing which led to her being picked out for the 2012 Olympic Epileptic Fit team while Mr Moss won a drinking contest that consisted of aviation fuel and a bucket with a hole in it.

So you see, it was all good. Wonder if tonight will be as weird.!!!!

Well hello, good evening and welcome… My name is Fluffy Bunny and I shall be wittering uselessly on for the next few minutes… and a fair few years to come.

Mandy’s birthday evening was last night. Twas tiring but very pleasant blowing bubbles and having a good laugh. Lemony meant, at one point, to say, face-licking but ended up saying arse-licking instead… hmmmm dirty mind. Hwang’s quote on anal seepage… “I’ve tried lil-lets but they just don’t stop it”. Weird. He was sadly called out about 11pm but I was so tired by that time that we left soon after anyway.

Thankfully today I didn’t have to get up until 10.30am so had a nice lie in. I think people in town must think I am totally tonto, because I was walking up the High Street listening to Trivium’s “Pull Harder On The Strings Of Your Martyr” singing BOOOOAT, RUDDER, STRANGE MOUNTAIN.

For Chuckie’s benefit, here once again is that momentous bit of amusement…

*****RANT TIME*****

A motorway speed camera bags £1.2 million for the local authority. They say it slows people down as they travel past roadworks on the M5. But if the camera is taking that much money then surely it ISN’T working.!!! The idea of a speed camera is to slow people down and protect the road workers at the side of the motorway, so why hide a camera there. In the USA, God forbid they actually had a good idea, they have big signs saying “Double Fines” around roadworks. Here is a better idea. The local authority says that it is not about the money… well that is an easy thing to solve, if you go through the camera at over 40mph then you get 6 or more points on your license instead but pay no fine. That way, anyone who speeds through on two occasions gets a ban and any new driver topping 40mph loses their license.

Now usually I don’t agree with these things but on a busy motorway it is a good thing to stop the road workers being injured by some head case whipping past the cones at 105mph and sliding into a porta-kabin full of navvies.

Hey Arnold. I HATE Hey Arnold. It looks like the childish scribblings of a five year old who has managed to get hold of a packet of crayola’s finest and a bottle of sherry. A kid with a head like a rugby ball who doesn’t get bullied in school.? Surely that isn’t right.! But then again it isn’t so much the storylines of these monstrous cartoons that gets me, it’s the quality of the drawing. Now call me a traditionalist (Audience – “You’re a traditionalist”), but I like to be able to look at a cartoon and think, yeah they look normal, but the situations they arrive at are not. The Simpsons is one of the few I can forgive because the scripts are so well written.! Futurama is better, in my honest opinion, because the humans look, well, human.

Are children nowadays so hard to attract to the television that they MUST be presented with a sponge in a pair of slacks and a tie.? Surely with so much obesity around the little darlings can do sod all else but eat crisps in front of Blue Peter. Someone pleeease design a cartoon where the people look like people, and the storylines are good fun. Not that hard is it.? Really.?

Another slightly odd aspect about TV is the insistence on political correctness. For instance, Hey Arnold’s mates are a girl and a black dude. Futurama contains a rasta and a chinese girl (ok and a robot and a mutant but maybe one day there will be a protest march through London by one eyed mutants wanting the vote and getting run over by horses).

I know a lot of people in my life, I go clubbing twice a week and I can think of only ONE person who is black that occasionally comes into the club. I am not a racist but I HATE with a passion the pure definition that every person in the country MUST know someone who is ethnic, simply put, we don’t.!

On the plus side, I have bought some new trousers to be auditioned before the weekend I hope. And more nail varnish (Sarah told me not to wear the orange.!).

My friend Vicky is off to uni soon… I will miss her. We love each other.

*****LATE NEWS*****

I have just eaten one of the BEST curries ever. A chicken Naga Jall with mushroom rice. The mushroom rice alone was worthy of an award for tastiness, but with those hot spuds in the Naga Jall, it made it amazing.

Yummy.!!!

Regarding Steve Irwin…

What on earth did he do to piss off Gerry Anderson.!!! News that Troy Tempest has been arrested are apparently unfounded but anything can happen in the next half hour.?

Ok stats time, but a short one this time (mainly because I missed the update on my server page, hehe). At the top we have “long panis fucking”, now I hope some retard just made a very odd typo, otherwise its a case of ex F1 driver, Olivier Panis, with his cods out.!!??!! “Sweaty fannies”, hmmm, lets not go there, but you might find… “Weston-super-Mare slags” with them. But the one that really made me laugh… “Dating agency for dwarves”, oh so funny. I know I shouldn’t laugh but wouldn’t you.? Hehehe.

Dont ask why, but i was looking at the sex offence act and although it states you cant fuck an animal normally, or anally, it doesnt state you cant get a blowjob.!! Is there something the Chief Superintendant gets up to that they arent telling us.?