I have spent my afternoon busy beavering away in my stockroom (ok I admit it. I was sat on a TV box reading a magazine called “Pick Me Up”, the usual mix of arrow words and single mothers). I almost fell of the damn box a couple of times due to dozing off a little. Stupid early starts. Anyway, I was sat there listening to Mark and Lard, off a CD of course, because they disappeared from our radiograms over 2 years ago *SOBS heartily*. In my work mate Chuckie’s words “You never have got over them getting kicked off Radio One, have you”.

And I have to admit that is very true. John Peel and Andy Kershaw aside, I have never listened to another radio presenter(s) who has entertained me as much. Having my ears assailed by the likes of JK and Joel or Scott Mills is a bit like being fed rotten cabbage and buggered by Elton John at the same time, ie, a pain in the ass and it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Chris Moyles is always bleating on about being the “Saviour of Radio One” but the only reason he has more listeners than before is probably because independant Radio is so bloody awful. Listening to Star FM involves a certain amount of adverts for Proper Job and the like. No problem with that, just the reason I have the radio on is for music and/or amusing banter, not so I can be informed that someone is selling cheap clothes pegs every 2 songs.!

Moylesy is a good example of the sort of person I dislike immensely. Maybe he isn’t the same in real life but he certainly gives off an air of being over paid, over weight and over the sodding airwaves. Today he was talking about couples… On his own he IS a couple, that is him and his ego. I tolerate him because the alternatives are Terry Wogan (nice enough but his voice relaxes me too much and I don’t wish to foul myself at work) and local radio. One of my till girls favours the syndicated Galaxy/Vibe/Kiss channel where R ‘n’ B (repetative and boring) is king and you can smell the burberry aftershave the second you set the frequency. Radio Two is not too bad. It gives me a good chance to find some ideas to rant about but the music jumps about a little too much between decades.

Radio One do play good music… unfortunately they only play it at 1am on a Wednesday morning on the Rock Show when I am usually fast asleep.! Hearing The Zutons for the 300th time in one day is not my idea of classy entertainment and turning on to find Jo Whiley (ewwww) has taken a day off ugly and is being replaced by Sara Cox (fucking ewwwww) really tops it in the “annoying female presenters” stakes.!

So one day I will form a union. We will dig up the long buried bones of the “Biggest Show”. We shall polish the dirt off of Craig and David, wipe the soil out of the eyes of Shit Agent, shave the fantastic beard off of Fat Harry White and they will rise again. Be they human or android, be they devil or saint. We need Scrawn and Lard.

They will live once more.!!!

*Lots of cackling maniacal laughter mixed with lightning and thunder effects followed by huge coughing fit and sound of vomiting*.

And tonight.. Dominion at eight if you wish to come join us. I shall be there with Lemony. And what a fruity one she is.! *goes to make comment about tasting of said citrus fruit but chickens out at last minute*

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