It is Saturday, so rather than bore you with the intricate details of last night I shall give you the headlines instead…

BONG
Charmian almost drops me RIGHT in it with Rayray’s boyfriend.

BONG
Hwang and I drink loads and feel pissed.

BONG
Hally got us both dancing to Pendulum again.

BONG
Bethany slapped my wrist for being irresponsible.

BONG
I found it was unnecessary to use Aftershock as a drunkness booster.

BONG
I did not smoke any BONGs. Lol.

Now on with the ranting…

The guy who killed Sally Ann Bowman (who I always thought was a newsreader on Radio 1), a model who was murdered yards from her home over a year ago, has been arrested and charged with her murder etc etc. Took them a year you note, in the meantime they arrested her Mum on that charge and did something purely stupid they asked 4000 men to turn up and give blood samples for DNA evidence.

I am pretty sure you can see what is wrong there… What if the guy who DID kill her didn’t actually turn up for testing.!?! Imagine his position. He is sat at home watching TV and having a bit of a giggle, while the Police beg him to turn up and have his fluids removed. It doesn’t take much to guess that if you have murdered someone and DON’T want to be found then it is unlikely that going down the local cop shop for a little needlework is going to be high on your list. Honestly. The people who run this country MUST be stupid. If he isn’t going to turn himself in then he simply won’t turn up for the testing.

And finally, I saw THIS and thought of you all…

*****SPORTS NEWS*****

I am just waiting for extra time to start in the England vs Portugal match but I would like to say one small thing…

Ronaldo you over paid, smug twat. Why not save the whole world the trouble at having to watch your bad sportsmanship (throwing yourself on the floor every 30 seconds and clutching an untouched appendage) by forgetting to strap yourself into your high powered sports car and going for a drive around Paris pursued by several of the Papperazzi. I can think of a wonderful tunnel you could go through in your vehicle… watch out for that concrete pillar though…

…. oooops.!

Hmmmmm…. while watching us lose to those cunts who we saved from the French in the 19th century, someone sent me a text, which had summed up exactly what I was thinking…

THIS IS NOT ME..!!!

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