Day 4 in the download tent.

The sun is trying to hide thankfully, but its still murderously hot.

Lacuna Coil are the first band we are seeing today.

Jet engines woke me at 5.15am to my annoyance. Everyone is hot and enjoying it but a little fed up with being greasy, sweaty, hot, sticky and dirty.

A shower and a flushing toilet would be a godsend right now (monkey just added the horns for that).

One more night where we finish the alcohol we have left and pee in bushes.

Got to run.

No battery! Back soon!

As the Sun would say, phew what a scorcher.

My head and neck are sore thanks to the sun, sarah looks like she has been toasted and angels legs are still crispy.

So far today i have heard alice in chains and stonesour, but watched an amazing set from a7x. Ok. I admit it.

They are very good. Finally got to see Pika, which was cool, hopefully joining us for a drink later.

I really am not looking forward to packing up the tents on monday morning. We shall see how sober i am,but i have very little alcohol left.!!!

We are all dehydated despite the huge amounts of water being drunk! Angel almost fainted from the heat even before a7x had started! We are currently sat listening to Opeth having just watched Within Temptation, who were good but i still cannot stand her high pitched voice.

I am starving so i think an entire pizza will be winging its way to my stomach sometime very soon. .

Good day to you all and more tomorrow.

Bed at 1am, jet engines firewalled at 5.30am, Bunny awake.

Went back to sleep until getting woken up cos someone was bored. The rest of our party have now
arrived and the last two tents are up.

We are sat in a group on my ground sheet drinking beer and sweating so much! Might actually go see some bands later but not just yet, its way too hot! More later…

So we watched coheed and cambria and inme, and have come back to the camp for a glass or five of wine and a few
beers.

The heat has been unbearable today, giles had sun stroke and Angel has toasted most of her body a deep pink.

Sexy Dave was happy to spend half the night in some ones tent but he isnt sure who’s. Hehe. Tomorrow is going to be even worse plus the bands we want are on earlier.

Shocking thoughts.

Night people, and of course, dont have nightmares.

Wow it is hot. I am wearing a shirt that i no longer have buttoned up.

Everything fitted in the car surprisingly including the beer and wine. At least,unlike lemony, we didnt have to go via oxford as well!

I have discovered the design of the arm rests in the back of a Mondeo is painful if you actually intend to lean on them. We did pass a blimp with the macdonalds logo on it, a great irony, kind of saying eat here and look like this!

And now i am sat in a field somewhere near derby with hundreds of goths. The toilets are err iffy. Just dont look down lol. Tonight we have a barbeque and sausages and drink. And fags too. Usefully talk tomorrow.!

One hour and a bit and I shall be leaping into a scorching hot Ford Mondeo and whipping (steady now) up the M5 towards the North (that place where they make pies).

DownLoad 2006 is finally here. As is the hot weather. I have just walked over to Tescos to buy a box of wine, some beer and a bottle of icey cold water for the trip. Now I am so damn warm I am typing this in the buff while a very cool bath runs in the background (and my tower fan cools the parts other aerofoils cannot reach).!

Don’t forget you can check out my daily blog from the festival on here, if I am sober to cope with typing and emailing it.

So enjoy your days and I shall speak to you later tonight.!!!

ONE DAY TO GO. ONE MORE.!!! FUCK YEAH.!!!

Hey boys and girls. Would you prefer me to start with the rant or the amusing bits from last night…

The rant I hear you cry.? Ok then…

On the front of today’s Western Daily Press is a picture of a black man sat on a roof. Not that unusual if you happen to work for a company called “African Roofers ‘R’ Us”, but not something you tend to see everyday. The reason he had parked that ass of his on the roof of a terraced house was because he had leg it from the police with his two mates (who got nicked) for failing to stop in a stolen Astra.

The fact he was a fugitive doesn’t really bother me. The fact he was sat on some poor person’s roof throwing tiles at coppers and taking a nap occasionally doesn’t bother me. The fact he stole someones car doesn’t bother me.

What REALLY winds me up is the fact that some FUCKING TWAT who works for our so called Police force sent the stupid thieving scummy man a takeaway “because he was hungry and they had to protect his human rights”.

HUMAN RIGHTS.??? The little cunt stole something from someone else. Personally I would have been disappointed if they HAD got him off the roof without the use of at least three shotguns and maybe a large spiked pole, but they decided the use of some badly cooked meat and botulism in a foam box was a better idea…

…oh wait a moment… maybe it is actually a slow way of killing the little ass basket without needing to go through a lengthy inquiry afterwards.

And onto everything else. First a joke from Stew:

Why were kitchens invented.? Because women kept getting wet outside.

Please don’t hurt me.!!!

Interesting afternoon yesterday. Had a lady come in wanting someone to call the Police due to a very drunk man sat at the bus stop who kept falling off the seat, fell over her pushchair and was too pissed to get on the bus. Everyone expecting to hear the tale of the chav who had too much White Lightning.? Well no. This guy looked as though the last time he got drunk was after being dragged half drowned over the lee rail of a Z-class Destroyer at Dunkirk.! Well into his late 70’s if not knocking on the doors of octagenarianism (new word alert.!) he had the sort of mouth that would make Gordon Ramsey turn bright rouge over a hot omelette plan.

In the end the Police arrived and finding no ID and him being so plastered they threw him into the van having nicked him for being drunk and disorderly. He put up a surprising struggle for someone with more ethanol in him than the average IndyCar fuel tank.

Hobbits was a brief affair for me because I was so tired I was home (thanks to Lemony) and in bed… (no comment there) by 11.30pm. Had a good laugh though especially when I mentioned Sarah’s chess board chest from the other week and wondered if she had been mated in four moves .

Today I have finished early to get some stuff sorted for DownLoad and the wedding. I did help Rayray buy a new MP3 player (she got the exact same one as mine, as it is the best obviously).

And now I sit here waiting for just one more hour before we head to the Pavillion for dinner as it is my brother’s birthday tomorrow.

One more thing, when I am away over the next few days I have sorted my email out so as to be able to update my blog via my mobile.! So daily updates from Donnington will be given.! Loads of photos when I come back, might have to sort out a Flickr site for them all.!

Must be off. I shall update tomorrow before I leave. Love you.!

3 DAYS TO DOWNLOAD
(FUCKING HELL THIS WEEK WILL DRAG)

Bulging indeed. I have just tested packing my bag for download. One 45 litre rucksack, one sleeping bag as well, all bound up and ready to go. Except it weighs about two hundredweight.! I blame fashion. I have packed only one hoody, one pair of trousers, one pair of shorts and a few pairs of socks, but the bloody trousers take up SO much room and weight that I think it would be easier for me to shave my legs and go around in a mini-skirt all weekend.! Cooler too probably, but with less chance of meeting any nice ladies once they get a glimpse of my pasty white legs (and my nuts hanging out whenever I walk along due to my disregard for the wearing of pants)…

…then again it IS going to be goth city so pasty skin is not really going to be an issue. All that black clothing is going to be absorbing every ounce of heat and sunlight in Leicestershire so all those of you (Victoria.!!) that live in that area might have to wrap up warmly next weekend.

All I have to do now is convince Angel to carry my booze for me.!

Well now, how has your day been.? It was rather hot in my stockroom today. I swapped my pinstripe long sleeved shirt for a red work polo shirt made from 100% pure luxury polyester. Lucky I. Was like wearing a cheese grater only sliiiiiightly less comfortable. The static electricity I have stored in my body will be enough to keep my mobile phone AND my camera charged at DownLoad (plus I set off four car alarms just walking through the car park after work).

Did you know that a chap in Bristol had his mates buy him a brain scan.? He was on an eleven week waiting list as he was suffering from headaches and blackouts. They clubbed together and got him the £700 needed to pay for a private scan and, lo and behold, a brain tumour was found. Doctors said he would have been past the point of no return if he had waited those 11 weeks.!!!

Don’t you just love the NHS.! If you are a prisoner who has murdered hundreds of small children or raped his way across Bath then you will be pushed to the front of the queue and given what ever your dicky heart desires, face lifts, anal reconstruction, sex changes, but goodness forbid if you happen to be a normal citizen who is on the verge of having a life threatening disease.! Asylum seekers too, ok, we believe you have escaped from a terrifying regime, but we live here… we pay our taxes and have done so all our lives. You have just waltzed in here and expect to be given everything in arrears. Children I can understand but otherwise feck off until you have earned it. You wouldn’t be getting jack in your own country so just be patient.

And now onto music…

Firstly Gnarls Barkley has been knocked off the number one spot of the, now pointlessly correlated, top 40. He has been replaced by the totally bizarre Sandi Thom (who.????) singing a song called “I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker”, a song that contains the phrase “I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair”. Ah punks. Those famous 1970’s icons. You see them still in videos of The Sex Pistols or Buzzcocks, ‘pogo’ing around a club. Every single one of them wearing a carnation or a white rose, tucked in their spikey barnet… I think you see my point. Punks and flowers. That well known combination. Like Prescott and low fat salad cream.

Secondly, with the above tripe at number one, why on earth has Corinne Bailey Rae diving into the chart at number 40.! She is a fantastic singer with some really good funky tracks, 100 times better than Ronan Keating who appeared at number 6.! Oh and Embrace, the offical singers of the world cup anthemn “World At Your Feet” entered the charts at the heady heights of number 38. No Three Lions is it.!? Can you imagine several thousand England fans trying to hit that top note in the middle of the song after all that Carlsberg. Oh and that is another thing…

Why in hell is our World Cup campaign sponsored by sodding Carlsberg.! It is Danish.! Yes I know our team manager is Swedish but he has screwed us over as much as he screwed the female staff at the FA head quarters.

(And now back to our main programme)

Radio Two is taking time out to attempt to enlighten the lives of two people who have something in common. Something to me which is very weird. Neither of them have ever, EVER bought a CD, tape or record in their lives.! Can you imagine that.?

Can you imagine the idea of life without music.? I listen to music up to 10 hours a day, usually more and it features so heavily in my life that it tends to form a soundtrack to important moments. I was discussing with Angel yesterday, the way in which I tend to relate music more specifically than her. We were in New Look and Madonna’s ‘Beautiful Stranger’ came on (and bizarrely MK One played the same song when we went in there too). I mentioned that it reminded me of sitting in the cinema watching Austin Powers and getting caught cheating on Pika (yes it WAS a long time ago). She said it just reminded her of a less narrow time, just a person instead.

This got my mind going. Do I really associate music with SPECIFIC times in my life or is it just a rare occurrence. So I ran through a few more songs in my head… Chop Suey by SOAD – Jo’s house watching MTV when her parents were away. Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac – Driving back from Leicester in the dark with my parents in 1990. Razzamatazz by Pulp – Walking back from Pika’s house at 2am with my walkman on. Your Woman by White Town – Sitting in Caroline’s room before leaving for Kerry’s funeral…

…I guess I do then.

Back to unpacking/packing then.!!!

4 DAYS TO DOWNLOAD – FUCK YEAH

It really doesn’t feel like Sunday. Feels more like a bank holiday. I have spent the time shopping in town with ANGEL, grabbed a shirt and tie for the wedding, some new nail varnish for general use, bits and bobs for DownLoad SUNGLASSES (which I let Angel chose as I tend to buy ones that make me look like Jon Lennon, ie round and small). Seriously.! Had a later than usual lunch (2pm, chinese in Forhama) as I had eaten an entire pizza at 11.30am, . There was a fair few tourists out and about but plenty of room for us to sit in the Italian Gardens in the sun and enjoy just being outside.

Wandered to see Lemony in work, annoyed her for a bit then headed for the bus stop. Was a good day.

Had a really great night last night, starting with watching Nat’s band in Burnham… here is a first on this site, a banner…

Shocking.!!!

They were really good and I was so proud being able to congratulate them after the set. Then we headed back to Weston and joined Mike on his stag do and Harry on her birthday night out (at the same time). All me up in Phoenix and sat out on the balcony enjoying the night time air. Hobbits was steamy as a French cinema while showing Betty Blue. Had a dance, a drink or nine and a fair few kisses with Lemony (who as usual smelt amazing).

I ended up all on my lonesome at 3.30am waiting for the damn taxi to arrive. I was sooooo tired I felt like I was going to actually doze off in Hobbits.!

And after the pizza and chinese it is now a roast, speak later.!!!

Oooohh my letter DID get in the Mercury but the didn’t print my name. It is on the first letters page headed “Let Them Loose”.

Enjoy.!!!

I shall totally gloss over last night, started good, ended bad and was nothing to do with myself this time.

So instead I shall treat you to a rant…

Browsing through the hate mail on EBAUMSWORLD I noticed just how narrow minded some people can be.

Now I am pretty sure I have touced on this subject before. Everything in life is there to be laughed at. Contentious statement.? No matter what the subject is, there will be someone who will find it amusing. But people take offence, usually BIG style. Read through the mail at EW and you will see exactly what I mean. There are letters from people complaining about religion, mental disability etc etc. But why…?

EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this world is afflicted by something that makes them imperfect. For instance, I am too thin and my ears are too big. I have friends who are fat, short, disabled in some way, but I can honestly say I don’t think that I have ever offended them with any jokes about their physical defects simply because they are willing to laugh along and more than happy to throw comments about MY persona back at me.

When I was at school I had a lot of nicnames relating to my skinnyness. It used to hurt. A lot. Sometimes it used to reduce me to tears. Then one day it struck me that I didn’t actually care, simply because this is me, this is how I look. Maybe some women I have met have been put off me purely by my body shape, but that is not my fault, that is just me. Nowadays people can throw me insults but they bounce off (well not far because there isn’t much for them to bounce off of).!

What about religion.? Is it right to laugh about someones beliefs, to extract the urine from the idealogical thinkings of a small (or large group of people). Well most of us (actually I am not included in this) blasphem frequently. To some people it is offensive but if you were in the street and someone shouted “Jesus Christ” about something would you say anything to them.? Would you confront them… No, of course not. But if someone was to post a joke involving a Rabbi (if you were Jewish), or the Koran if you were Islamic, then you would feel happy to write in about it and have a good old complain.

Personally I don’t care who I insult/annoy/offend with my writings on this page simply because if you don’t like my opinions then stop reading and walk away. I don’t sit there and force you to review what I have posted, and they are only my PERSONAL opinions after all. If any of you really ever did think I had overstepped the mark then I hope you would contact me and point it out. It may actually be that you have taken the piece differently to how I intended and you just need pointing down the correct path in my mind.

Comments please.?

*****LATE NEWS*****

Just noticed that smack lover Pete “Lie Down And I’ll Shoot You Up” Docherty had his bottom searched by Spanish officials after problems on an EasyJet flight. The only thing they found was a load of faeces… otherwise known as the Baby Shambles back catalogue.

And Med Bar has been named as Weston’s newest gynaecology centre as it is usually full of cunts.

I have a new slogan…

“If I can’t drink it, smoke it or fuck it, then take it away”

Anywhooooo…

I have been on a course in Taunton all day, wasn’t too bad apart from the getting up early thing. Got an earlier train and wandered in my house about 4.45pm. Not bad I think. Free food and no counting the damn stockroom, so bonus day all round.

I don’t have that much to say tonight, I haven’t had chance to listen to the radio so I am devoid of rants sadly.

So wait until tomorrow.