Ooooooooh new Government initiative number 4928291/B… When kids reach the age of four and ten, weigh them and then point out to their parents just how fat they are. Big Brother is REALLY taking over.!

But aren’t kids all cute puppy fat at those ages.? I went to school with two girls who were very large but now are extreeeeeeemely attractive size tens, who you would never believe had been that size. Yes, I know the point is that kids ARE getting more and more obese, but surely the emphasis should be on educating the parents and not just merely pointing out the obvious fact that their child now has it’s own postcode and is booked in for a crane (to hoist them out the side of their caravan aged 39) by Jerry Springer.

For all you parents reading this, here are a few tips…
1, If your child is unable to fit through the child gate at the top of the stairs when it is open, then cut it down to 4 boxes of rusks a day
2, For no reason give your kid a MD’s more than once a fortnight. It ISN’T good for you, it WILL eventually make your kid massive and hyperactive. You may like having a rampaging 6 year old running around your feet but us poor sods who work in shops aren’t that impressed when the horrible little shit is sick on our shop floor because he is rammed to the tits with MSG, massive amounts of salt and the entire contents of “Sweets and Things”.!!! And finally
3, Children are not supposed to be able to stop heavily loaded runaway delivery lorries just by lying in front of them.

Apparently this country has lost 400 prisoners (including murderers and armed robbers) from Leyhill Open Prison since 1999. I think we are all sat here asking the same question…

HOW THE HELL DID THEY END UP IN AN OPEN PRISON.!!!

It’s truly criminal. An open prison is NOT a secure environment.! It is by definition, a place where low level offenders (such as tax evaders, people who deface cars with their own bodily waste, that sort of thing) can be plonked. We don’t need a load of psychos round here (Leyhill is near Bristol by the way), as, to be honest, we have enough as it is.!

And now for something completely different….

So I have bought my tent for Download and have already christened it “The Palace of Glittering Delights” (actually i had another name but if I said what that was, then I WOULD have to kill you).!!! It seems easy enough to erect, although Sarah pointed out that it will be harder to do when drunk. As I pointed out, it will only be 2pm when we hopefully arrive so to be drunk by then is a worrying thought.!!

Pizza is almost ready so I shall be in scoffing mode soon…

If you see me walking down the street, and I start to cry….

…DON’T try to sell me a copy of the Big Issue. Byeeeeee.!!!

*****LATE NEWS*****

I instantly forgot to mention something, my title today. Borrowed it from a 1980’s show all about the death of steam on British Railways. Always remember watching it on a Sunday night with my Dad. Very poigniant image of a 4F (I think), LMS loco fading gradually into nothingness and revealing the disused and abandoned track bed left behind. Always brings a sad smile to my face when ever I see it. Stupid, some people may say but it is true.

People (yes, mainly men I guess, but, maybe it is our more mechanical minds) get attached to that sort of thing. I remember the hair rising on the back of my neck when I saw the Avro Vulcan on it’s last fly past (actually I can’t watch XH558, the story of the final flight of this amazing plane simply because it sends me to near tears). When the Deltics bowed out on the East Coast Main Line (to be replaced with the High Speed Train back in 1982) one guy was seen to drop to his knees on the end of a Kings Cross’ platform and sob his heart out.

As I have mentioned before, Concorde flew past my town on her final flight and that was a truly amazing sight that I will never forget. A day when we went back to NOT having a supersonic air liner in the whole world.! Thanks British Airways.!

Oh and the training thing.? I had to stay until 8.30pm tonight doing staff training. At least I got paid for it.!

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