11.15am. Auf Wiedersehen Pet on the TV, my phone receiving a message from Pouty 45 minutes after it was sent and my stomach is DEMANDING food to follow on from my chip supper at quarter to three this morning.
What an evening. Met Pouty at Tescos to begin with, wandered to Dominion and were acosted by Angel and other half who joined us for a short while. Then in wandered Nat and Merv and off wandered my credit card and Pouty.! Lol. Stew was in Bridgy and needed a taxi back, but it had to be prepaid etc etc. I was reminded of certain stupid things Pouty had said on Tuesday while drunk including “I am taking bollocks, but not talking ABOUT bollocks”. She began to top that classy line with “I like people watching me” before stopping and realising. We had a bit of a laugh and then headed to Phoenix in Jim’s Meat-tray where the music was not bad, the air was sodding cold and the VK £2 still. I was still sober by this time due to drinking bottles not pints for a change in Dominion but still managed to get caught out with the line “Everything looks bigger when you are drunk” (again I suffer at Sarah’s hands).!!
Then Hobbits. Boy was it quiet to begin with.! Felt like a Tuesday night not a Saturday. I had a chat with Rayray’s on again off again boyfriend (why in hell did I bother with her, it so pathetic) and a great time taking more and more photos of me with every single person who goes to Hobbits (If I have missed you out and want to join in then please come find me one night).! Sarah and Stew left about 1am ish and I spent the last two hours outside, apart from a brief interlude where I wandered back in, tasted my warm beer, felt the intensely muggy, wet heat inside and dived out the door again. I was accompanied by Nat and someone new who we shall call Lemony
. She walked with me to get food and then we cuddled up on the stage outside waiting for my taxi. Really enjoyed it.
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I did notice something while I was (not) enjoying a bottle of Brahma beer (don’t ask.!). I was watching Matt air guitaring to something and it made me realise just how much detail I don’t notice when I am drunk in Hobbits. Little things pass me by, so I started taking notice… GayDan’s gun necklace, buttons all over the floor, Charmian’s belt, Burge and his drunken antics, all little things that quite often pass me by.
While sat at the beginning of the Hobbits portion last night, Jade received a text message saying that Lordi from Finland had won EuroVision.! Finally, a decent band wins this awfully camp and usually very fixed event. We came nowhere as usual due mainly to the pathetic song we entered.! A 40 year old ex con singing about being in school.! School girl dressed dancers.? Really.??? Like THAT wasn’t an attempt to sway the trousers of all the judges around Europe. I did request a Lordi song to celebrate but sadly there were none lying around. Oh well. Congratulations you scary Scandinavians.! You have made EuroVision good. Ish.
I see the McCartneys are breaking up. Paul and Heather have decided to go their own ways. One question that I was curious about, how do they work out who gets half of her shoe collection.??
As usual the whole illegal immigrant saga continues apace with Labour going “the Tories did this”, the Tories replying “you fucked it up Blair” and the Lib Dems standing at the back, jumping in the air shouting “Vote for us, someone. Please.!??!” For some unfathomable reason Blair STILL thinks that once the new database to track illegals comes into use alongside ID cards there will no longer be any aliens coming to this country untraced.
WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON YOU SMILEY FACED, ANNOYINGLY CHEERFUL CUNT.!!!??? When some one crosses the channel tied to the side of a P&O ferry, sneaks past customs and is later found dead on Morecombe beach surround by shellfish, it is VERY unlikely they will find him equipped with “Ze Correct Paperz mein Furher”. Why should he.? How on earth will he be issued with an ID card if no one knows he is here.? Without using millimeter band radar to track every single moving human being in the UK and then stuffing a GPS transmitter up their jacksies there is simply NO way to try and find or follow people who wish to enter illegally.
All you can do is round ‘em up and send ‘em back to where they came from. It takes time and money but given enough it is possible to control it. Either that or we copy the Americans in one of two ways. One, we use our army (the USA have used their National Guard to patrol the border with Mexico, so sombreros with 5.56mm bullet holes in them). Or Two, we do the very American thing of feeding all the small children in this country on a diet of deep fried chicken, chips, compost and shit. Then we stand them side by side around the border and NO immigrant will be able to find a way past that massive line of blubber.
And finally today (for the moment), we have the Government’s new initiative to produce more power for when the world runs out of resources. Apparently when all the ice melts over the North Pole, vast oil reserves will be uncovered. Genius. So we can then ensure ALL the worlds ice disappears. Every one is staking a claim for it. Even Denmark.! Must be to keep up the energy reserves for all that porn production.
Blair wants more “renewable energy” which is always a nice idea but never very practical. It is one thing to stick a barrier across the Severn but you are basically sodding up the local environment to stop sodding up the environment, talk about no win.! There is only one real way to work through this and that is nuclear energy, but properly controlled. For heavens sake don’t let the Russians near anything glowy and warm or we will be picking bits of reactor out of our hair for years to come.!!
I have rambled on enough, enjoy your day and as always…
…Stay Moist
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*****LATE NEWS*****
Yes, I am at it already.! Sexy Dave (or Skater Dave depending on where you know him from) asked me to define his dancing style. His desire for a one word answer was impossible so he got this…
“A frantic medley of unchoreographed, dynamic movement combining the use of the strutting technique, the ability to be in three places at once and a marvellous amount of campness”
I hope we all agree on that.!
And yesterday I posted one of those “ten anonymous statements” about people. I will repost them here for those of you who don’t access myspace…
1, If only you knew how good it could be if you changed one thing about your body.
2, Sometimes I just want to hit you as hard as I can in the centre of your face. Other times I want to just hurt you a lot.
3, You seem true, but everything you do has a hidden motive I feel. If you stopped the facade then you might be more fun to be with.
4, The way you treat people makes me sick, if you weren’t so close to me I would tell you to fuck yourself sideways.
5, One day I will stand next to your grave and I will laugh. I will break your headstone in to tiny pieces and let carrion crows rip your greying corpse apart.
6, It could have been so amazing, you and me, but the timing was wrong, the people were wrong and too much was going on.
7, You still have the strongest power over me. I am still in love with you. In a few weeks time we will be together again.
8, You are such a nice person, you should be with someone. You deserve it.
9, I love you as a dear friend but sometimes you drive me right round the fucking twist.!
10, Despite all the time we have been apart, I would still take you back tomorrow if it would be the same as it was. Forsaking most others over you, because when I see you my heart still skips a beat and my mouth goes dry. We may be different people now but we are still the same lovers.