Its been a hard weekend and start to the week. But I had a good night tonight. Got a lot of stuff off my chest to friends who have listened to me wittering on about my own feelings.

I am starting to not care about things any more which is nice, because it means I can work on getting over my losses.

But. Now, there is always a but isn’t there. Someone else has entered my life by surprise, from a place I never realised. And now I find myself stuck on them. It is nice to have something else to focus on, but then again, there are problems there too. Lol.

My life is never simple so why should that change now. At least for the moment I can be single and looking. Hmmm, though I did try that last year and made a terrible mistake. Not easy to work out what I want, but I do know I HATE being single for any length of time.

It’s a horrible feeling knowing that the only people who love you are your friends and family (ok, that sounds wrong, because it is ALWAYS nice to be loved no matter who by) what I mean is, it is not nice to know I am alone. To know I have no one to refer to as my girlfriend any more. Though she caused me countless hours of grief and pain, I still feel strongly for her, and that will only fade into friendship over a period of time.

But as a good friend has just said to me, Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Which is very true. I could meet the girl of my dreams. Working at Argos for six hours, and not doing much else, it sounds pretty unlikely, but who knows. Then again maybe I have already met her and time is just waiting for the right moment to throw us together. I certainly hope so. It would be so good. Obstacles remain of course, maybe they always will, only time will tell whether she is the one for me or if someone else appears in my life and bring back that happy Fluffy Bunny smile that everyone knows.

I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy.

It will come back soon enough though.

Thank you all. xxxx

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