Ah pancake day. The traditional feast of people who are in quarantine so only can only eat certain foods (pizza, omelettes, pancakes, anything that slides easily under a locked door). I am having mine made for me which is just lovely.

I think the weather has lost it’s marbles, when I fell asleep last night it was so windy I was waiting for Judy Garland to turn up with a small dog and a fat guy dressed as a lion.! Then today it was lovely and warm, spring like almost, until about 2pm when it started flaming snowing.!! What is going on.!!!

I hope the whole lot improves for tomorrow because we are going shopping in Bristol and the last thing I need is the wind whistling around my Galleries (and I am the not even the one likely to be wearing a short skirt, lol).!

Actually been busy at work today, to prevent me having to work UNPAID, Friday night until 8 or 9pm because the company I work for ARGOS, that is ARGOS, have cut our staff so much we can’t do all the work in one week that we need to.!! So fuck you very much.!!

At this moment i am sat here waiting to hear if my missus has got the earlier bus from work to make me those pancakes. I bloody hope so.! The way my tongue is at the moment, flat food is far easier to eat than anything else.

Well I will carry on sitting here until I find out too late and end up having the world’s quickest bath and shave. Lol.

Have fun you bunch of (pancake) tossers.

PS interesting fact, someone reserved a couple of pancake pans the other day on our work system…. the name (and I am not joking about this (remember I always tell the truth on here.!!)) was Tosser.!! Someone must have been taking the pith.!!

Oh my word. I cannot believe I have ever done this to myself. I have just had THIS done.

Surprised.??

So am I.!!!

Well, Angel and I were in town and it seemed like a good idea. She wanted to get another stud done in her ear and I had promised to get my tongue made into a small winch. It was touch and go, watching him piercing the top of her ear and seeing the blood made me a little wobbly and break into a cold sweat while my body temperature shot up. So I took off my hoodie and sat down, he checked my tongue was ok to do it, and eventually I closed my eyes and felt a slight sharp feeling, then a hot rivet feeling through my tongue, then it was over. I bled a little but not too much, after an ice pop and a lot of water i was ok.

I just want to thank Angel for holding my hand and making sure I didn’t fall off my seat if I had passed out, lol. If she hadn’t been there then I would never have done it.!! (plus i promised I would, wonder why lol).

*Drinks more icey cold coke*

I have finally got a photo of myself in which I actually think I look attractive, well relatively speaking of course lol. Twas taken on the day we aren’t mentioning (14th) last week, in the hotel in Bath. The photo is HERE, don’t I brush up well without my makeup and black clothing… oh hang on, black, well the make up at least, lol. The shirt is from Next and cost me thirty quid, but it was well worth it , at least according to the person who took it on her phone (dammit I need a better phone cam to compete now).!! Apparently I look amazing in it. I can’t moan at such a great compliment as that now can I.?!

Dominion with Angel and the usual suspects in an hour. Drink. Girl. Feck.

I have done very little lol.

This is the sanitised version of my blog because I am feeling lazy and am under observation by MI5, MI6, MFI, FBI and the bloke from the pub who thinks I am after his daughter lol. Which I am not. I prefer his wife. Derek. Ok it’s not and I am not, but I have to be original don’t I. Plus I have been using that joke a lot recently and wanted to let it out to you lot too, hehehe.

Sorry I am feeling rather random tonight. It has been a very weird day. Being back at work for six hours, which basically meant sitting on a box texting for ages. Cheered me up though.

So predictions for the week. Four Funerals and a Wedding.? Nah, I doubt it. Lots of fun.? I bloody hope so. Especially as I am not starting work most days til 11.30. Which means I can go out with everyone tomorrow night and get drunk, something which I couldn’t do Friday and was unable to totally achieve without gagging Saturday, thanks to factors beyond my control (mainly the whole iffy stomach thing.!) so Hobbits gets Ian once again, as well as Friday and a slightly odd Saturday. . More yaaaaay’s.!

I should mention a certain friend of mine, Trixy, who is having a few man problems. Happy Birthday and cheer up sweety.!!!

Well I am off to watch Father Ted, drink tea and look forward to the 28th when I am off with the usual bunch to watch So Am I in Bristol. With food provided (well it is Shrove Tuesday, having pancakes made for me is just lovely, makes a change for someone to cook for me *ducks from inevitable thrown boot, razor sharp hair grip, bottle of coke*)…

Stay lovely y’all. *Nods at camera with Angelic look, swings around with spurs a tappin’, tucks thumbs into belt loops and saunders into the sunset*

*Trips over lizard*

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*****LATE NEWS*****
I am bored as hell lol. I hate Mondays. People have to work though I suppose. It’s just that eating Haribo and telling me when I have none is rather below the belt.! Might as well just tie a stick to my head and dangle a pizza off it.!!! Next time I eat Korma alone then I am going to get my own back (hmmm Korma.?? Me.?? Really.?? ). Still watching Phoenix nights. They are playing Here I Go Again by Whitesnake mixed with the sound of Peter Kay. So odd. lol.

Here I go agaaaaaaain to get foood.
I would buy chinese if I cooooooould.
Like a vegan I was born to scoff Quorn
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t drinking no more lime.

Tum ti tum

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*****LATER NEWS*****
I do wish I could sort my poor, confused head out to the point where I can start remembering things again.!!

I meant to mention the good old referers. Last week I had “Boys pulling down their partners underwear photos”. This week I have “I walked in on my mum and my best friend fucking”. Ah, it is so nice to see what people look at on t’internet.!

3.10am. Fluffy Bunny descends from his bed, climbs over a still sleeping Angel and runs to the bathroom. You can imagine the horrible noises that followed. Yes I appear to have a stomach bug that is causing me a lot of pain, like when you want to throw up but you can’t because there is simply nothing left. I hate that feeling, oh plus the “sitting on the loo sounding like you are peeing when you actually aren’t” thing. Ewwwwww.

It has been a very hard week but an amazing one in other places. Never been away on Valentine’s Day before. Three words sum it up though… Angel, Bath, Amazing. I shall say no more.

Come Sunday we shall see where I end up.

Pizza Pizza in my tum, Anchovy topping makes my hands hum… lol.

Evening all. Hope you are all enjoying the weekend, well the last few minutes of it, but then again I have another week off work so yaaaa boo sucks to you.

Had a great weekend, especially today with Angel(Lisa), and last night was a LOT of fun. Got some great photos… shall we go through them children.?? Okay then, here we go…

We started in Dominion. Hwang was very busy playing DOA3 and apparently Has A Bad Side. Angel was late out so got sent lots of photo messages while she drank herself stupid with wine. Sarah turned up eventually, then I offered to walk her to the cash point. Thanks for then making me go half way up the High Street missus.!! Lol. Katie and Paul Sung Themselves Stupid to Love Shack. Hwang attempted to sign me up for the Pet Shop Boys but I killed that just in time.

We eventually wandered to Phoenix and met up with Stew which caused an amount of Sexual Tension in the air. Kind of like when the Hindenburg exploded .

Had a few in there with Natalie and everyone, then off to Hobbits. Now Sarah has a style of dancing which Hwang and I love to copy… Sarah Dances Like This. Oh yes. Following the classic format, I got very drunk and was happily dancing to Fall Out Boy, when Angel walked in. Yaaay.! We had lots of fun dancing to MC Hammer and then some fool in the DJ box blew the system. Cue Angel, Sarah and myself singing Fall Out Boy and even the Spice Girls acapella. Enjoyed that. Stew lost his visor for a little while which appeared Here Mr Beaton and Here Miss Skinner . I am going to be murdered for those two photos being posted, I know it.!!

Mr Beaton also found something else which I had a good laugh at, thanks to Nat… My Chemical Hwang. And of course, he also had Kayleigh push her hand down his trousers on the dance floor. He didn’t remember just 10 minutes later. Oh and Dave, you bastard. £31 he found on the floor in various amounts. No fair.!!!

Ok enough, I have to go. Have a nice weeeeeeeek.!!!

xxxx

Thursday. Angel has finally got some money. I have been shopping, picking up my shoes from work and spending £2.60 to town and back *mutter, mutter, grumble*. Nice day outside though, a little cool around the ears but with ears like mine it is understandable. Lol. Actually, they say that when you are fully grown just your ears and nose carry on growing. If they grew at 0.5mm a year then by the time I am 80 my ears are going be a good 4cm longer.!! Saves buying a Sky dish I suppose.!

It is referer review time again. Firstly the rather worrying phrase “mum fucking boys porn” which must be someone logging in from Bridgwater.! “Polish slags for sex” well lets face it, while all their husbands are driving Weston’s buses they might as well do something. It is annoying when you have to say the word Axbridge three times for them to actually understand you though. Foreigners. Bastards. Next up we have “Yeovil girl stripping” which doesn’t specify her stripping or if she is doing a little decorating. Oh and Jamie Oliver may have a new book out, maybe him cooking wearing only a lot of Argos jewellry and a burberry cap… the phrase in question.? “the naked chav”. Classy.

I was having a thought last night (yes I know it doesn’t happen often, and when it does it usually contains pornographic scenes or Delia Smith (never at the same time)).! Weston-super-Mare. What on earth is there to do here.?? If you are staying for the week on holiday, then what on earth are you going to do to entertain yourself.?? Ok, there is the beach, but if it is too cold then what.? Shopping.? Great if you want to buy a birthday card, mobile phone or something charity shop housed. You could visit the pier (until you have no money left of course). The cinema.? Why go on holiday to go to the cinema.?? Mr B’s.? Nope, now two bad wine bars. The Old Pier.? Tropicana.? Knightstone.? Don’t make me fucking laugh.!

Ultimately I want this page to appear as high up google as possible so that when people read about Weston-super-Mare they realise there is simply no point in coming here as a tourist any more. Yes there are old buildings to look at, but nothing earth shattering, plus with the college and that great ugly mess of a building next to the Grand Atlantic the sky line of Weston-super-Mare looks like some guy has dropped his giant lego bricks on the seafront.

To correct all this what are the c”unt”cil doing.? Building a fucking carrot of glass. That will help the tourist industry. What about a bus station so people can wait in the warm and dry for one of Firstbus’s ageing Volvo buses to arrive to take them away from this hell hole. If the bloody things turn up and you can afford the fares which are simply extortionate at best and fucking ridiculous at worst.!!! Oh and good luck with the Poles driving them too.!

So to conclude… DON’T COME TO WESTON-SUPER-MARE. It is not worth the money. Even if they pay you to visit. Your kids will be bored shitless and you will end up in my shop with them screaming while I stand behind the counter ignoring you and taking the piss.

Go to Skegness instead. Or Basingstoke. I don’t care. Weston-super-Mare is the drug infested asshole of the country.

*breathes*

Half way through the week. Well almost. The sun is out, the grey clouds are gathering ominously and I am hungry despite the “mini cheddars scoffed in bed” routine.

I would like to thank Mr Chris Moyles for doing two odd things this morning, firstly, I woke up at the same time Angel had said she would have to be up this morning and as I turned on the radio he is playing Fall Out Boy. Weird. Secondly, he then added in the “fart solo” from “Uncle Fucker”, part of the South Park Movie soundtrack. Had to stop short of the swearing but even so, nice to hear at 8.30 in the morning.

Ranty time now…

I notice a certain Miss Spears is at it again, allegedly driving with her 5 month old baby on her lap (ostensibly to avoid papparazzi) but ffs woman, think of the safety of your child rather than worrying about being snapped with no make up on. You are the fakest person that side of the Atlantic (Bride of Wilderstein not counted, obviously) but try to protect your child rather than turn them into the next Princess Diana (a woman who was all over Dodi before she died, then all over the windscreen, dashboard, fascia etc).

Moving on, I see “someone” has been locked up for seven years for inciting racial violence. He intends to appeal, of course, it wouldn’t be right that someone who has preached in public about the desire to kill and maim the people of the country he has chosen to live in should be removed the ability to appeal against a conviction where EVERYONE knows he is guilty as fuck. Ten quid on Tony Blair’s whore of a wife picking up the contract and getting him off on a technical error.

Back to reality. Had lots of fun monday night working with Angel sorting out all the fags behind the counter in the shop… SEE SMOKY.!!, then last night we went to Hobbits as usual (only five of us in there for most of the night, Giles, Hwang, myself, Sarah and Angel).

Now I need to go off and satisfy myself… sorry my hunger. Enjoy your days, Oh and there was no photo of Hwang or Giles last night due to one of them looking gay as hell and the other having his finger stuck in his eye. I will let you work out which one is which .

Bon voyage. Apres Vous.

11.37, I have two cheeses, salami and chicken noodle soup (which incidentally has way too many noodles in it for my liking) and a glass of slightly flat coke. Friends is on the TV again and my head is a little delicate.

Sarah apparently feels like she has died again, which considering how much she drank last night, I am soooo not surprised.!

Met up in Bar 4, Bunny, Angel (who did come out after all thankfully), Hwang, Tina, Claire, Marie, Rich (amazingly lol) and of course Sarah. Started off a little slow, maybe because it was so sodding cold out last night. Half of us headed to Phoenix and met other people while the rest wandered off to Route (which is always kid city on a Friday and not much cop). I made the mistake of having After Shock in Phoenix, bought one for the already really pissed Sarah and a silver one for Angel. Nat joined us, and was almost as drunk as she was last weekend. Sarah had to be held up as she meandered to Hobbits.!

A certain someone had blown the UV’s so me wearing my best UV reactive top and wristband was totally pointless, dammit.

So tonight we do it all again. Only I wont be so drunk. In theory.

We await the inevitable lol.

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Forgot to mention two things…
1, I was made up with face powder and black eye shadow in Phoenix. Which didn’t look bad actually .
2, Sarah managed to do a perfect “loop foot in bag strap on high table and pull the lot on to the floor”. That was hilarious.

I am done now.

Friday. 10.52am.
What a week. It has been big highs and HUGE lows (ok just one but thats not the point and all I am saying on the subject).

So I have finished week one of my three weeks off. If I can win the EuroMillions tonight then I would be absolutely delighted to tell my employer and all it’s Directors just where they can push their job. In fact, I could become a major share holder and fire the people I want to. Now that would be fun.!!

I am thoroughly looking forward to a night out tonight with Angel and Hwang etc. Even though I have been out every night this week anyway.!! And I am out tomorrow… and Sunday for a drinky too. Hmmmm *books AA clinic appointment*

I am sat here watching the 1998 BTCC review (hence my title, the initials). It is not quite as exciting as the earlier 1990’s stuff but it isn’t bad. I also have the 1984 F1 review to be watched too but I might take a sudden side step and watch the Top Ten New Romantic Bands instead (again.!!).

I was reading back through all my old blogs from the later part of last year. Can’t believe it is only four months ago that I met Angel. It has gone so fast.!! Still I do agree with myself on one thing…

OOooooh I could crush a grape.

Friday. 12.15am
Well I am bored out of my tiny, irate, beer soaked, fag stained, brain. I have moved onto the 1984 F1 review. Such big engines and loads of action.

Only seven hours to go I suppose. Think I will go slap a pizza in the oven and see how that fills me up lol.

Referers for this week include…
“dirty old slappers” not young ones, that would be too weird.!
“bike races mad bastards” the French I am assuming.
“is there any twat out there not charging for porn” this hits me FIRST.!!
“kids ball pits and slides in fareham” words cannot express…
“Postman Twat” see that one coming did you.??

Friday. 12.40pm
I am on CNL again.. Me and some bird . It is not a good photo, I don’t have eyeliner on.

Friday. 1.35pm
The pizza has gone, Angel’s employers are shite and it’s snowing… well a little but better than nowt I suppose.!

Friday. 4.06pm
Well I am gonna be on my own tonight because Angel is not coming out thanks to those lovely retards at the Co-op who haven’t paid her correctly. AGAIN. Bastards.

Woe is Bunny.