I am still a little on the drunk side. I lost count of how many drinks I had last night. Oooops.

Bar 4, Claire, Chris, Rich (after his second date with the mysterious Chelle and still not giving anything away), Sarah (’er with the braids) and my lovely self. Twas a slow night to begin. I had expected it to be one of those nights but I was surprised.

Wandered round to Route 66 for a drink in there and somehow ended up with a free bottle of sparkling wine (not a good thing because I get really drunk really quickly on that stuff). Almost got strangled by the bar owner, he was drunk and being affectionate to his customers, lol.

Wandered very quickly to Phoenix (ironic words considering I am watching Phoenix Nights right now). Maybe it was the amount of drink but that was when the night kicked off, met up with a few other Hobbits regulars and merrily bounced our way to Hobbits. Losing Chris and Claire on the way…

…then there were three.

Hobbits was quietish but we met up with Stew and Kaye and had a bit of a chat. Rich decided that only having two hours sleep was not enough and disappeared early on…

…then there were two.

So Kaye and I played matchmaker for Sarah and Stew (they talked. FINALLY). And I finally got the chance to “bond” with Sarah. We had a really good laugh, drank too much, danced to Fall Out Boy, Poison and Closer (which was very weird lol). Sadly Angel couldn’t make it, and we did miss her, but it was nice to get to know (and laugh at, as someone had to hold onto the table to stay upright) her best friend.

Paul and Stu turned up at the end, Stu was hammered but still won a little on the fruit machine lol.

So a good time was had by all. It was a great night and I hope next weekend is just as much fun.!!

In other news, Trixy, bless her, sent me three more eyeliners and a bag of jelly dinos. Thanks hunny. Much appreciated .

I am off to eat some lunch, no hangover yet because I am still rather drunk.! The photos from last night will be up later…

Just one more thing, a little anecdote I told last night… Imagine the scene, someone has cleaned and bleached the toilet. Fluffy Bunny doesn’t notice. Sits down and starts reading a book. Leans forward slightly and gets uncomfortable feeling of bits on cold ceramic followed by stinging sensation and bleach takes hold. Cue running and grabbing a cold flannel and some vigorous (but not rude) rubbing.!

You may now pick yourselves up off the floor from laughing at my misfortune.!

Have you ever been in love.? Or at least, have you ever thought you were in love. Why does it take such a toll on your inner being, occupy your thoughts so much and actually makes you feel “ill”.

It’s a very strange feeling. I always used to say that people only feel love when it isn’t there any more, the Red Dwarf way (in the books where Lister and Kochanski split up and he moons about the ship “not” doing the same things with her).

We have all been there, we all know the feeling you get inside. Jarvis Cocker summed it up in the sublime F.E.E.L.I.N.G C.A.L.L.E.D L.O.V.E from the Different Class album… “I’ve got a slightly sick feeling in my stomach, like i’m standing on top of a very high building” you understand what I mean.? The great “L” word (and BOY am I overusing these things “” today) can bring you up, bring you down, make people do irrationally stupid things to the point of occurences like murder.!

But ultimately we are all searching for the same thing. To Be Loved. We want someone who accepts us for what we are, forsaking all others. Next time you find yourself in love just stop and think occasionally. Feel the emotion as it washes over you when you think of your significant other, let it wake your senses and put a huge smile on your face.

Love is special, let it stay that way.

Due to the rebinning I am doing at work I have had towels all over the shop today. It was like an explosion in a jam rag factory.!!

Just to prove that we don’t have any free time I have THIS little photo for you. My boss the rocking horse rider.

On my desk I have a small calender that Trixy bought me for Christmas. It says simply…

The Meaning Of Life
Sometimes it’s a chicken,
Sometimes it’s a chair,
Sometimes it’s a piece of cheese,
Suspended in the air.

It is rather weird but that is the sort of thing that I like so it is a little cheerful ray in my bland and freezing cold day.

It is a very slow day today so I shall be back later with more bullshit.

Love all.!

Finally someone has acknowledged my fame by finding this site with the phrase “Horny Haircut”. Ok, the photo leads to a piccy of Mike with devils horns on, but there we go.

How are we all mid-week then.? Cold enough for you I trust.?

I do apologise for the slightly drunken post last night. Coming in and typing a blog after Hobbits is not a good idea.!! Had a good night though, apart from Angel, no dancing and pulled tummy muscles (awwwwww).

I was good to my word and made no horsey jokes at all. Ain’t I a good boy . I have to admit to making one earlier though, but it was well implemented so it is ok… right.?

Only a day then it is another Hobbits night. Fun on Friday and then Pichu is joining us out Saturday so it should be a cool weekend. I should not be feeling ill I hope, so we can have a nice weekend. Plus I now have two weeks booked off at the end of the month to see My Ruin in Portsmouth and then do nothing. In that time I might be able to find a new job too.!!

We shall indeed see.

Who the hell is this.???. What on earth have I been doing recently that has encouraged random chavvy women from the country to check out my profile on faceparty.?? Bizarre.!! She loves “happy hardcore”, “drum and bass” and “R’N'B”. Three phrases that tend to strike fear into my heart. Especially the last one.

Ooooh… and now a little warning. My friend and two of her relatives all got their drinks spiked on Saturday night in Senioritas. Those of you that enjoy wandering about that horrifically shitty place please be careful. Keep an eye on your drinks and don’t let some strange guy buy you them. I know most of you won’t even listen to this but at least I can tell you to be careful.

Now go put a coat on, you will catch your death.!!

And with the time hitting 12.40am, its time for the news summary with Fluffy Bunny…

Good Morning…
Hobbits tonight was quiet but fun, thanks to the endangered Angel species and Sarah laughing it up in a corner. Environmentalists say that the vodka/malbu slick won’t be harmful to penguins.

In retail today, one man was caught prancing around the stockroom like a fairy, Police haven’t named him yet but warned he may strike again until he gets some time off at the end of the month (two weeks woo hoooooo).

There have been rumours of an oral take over of my own mouth but rumours are that negotiations are continuing. More on this story as we get it…

and finally tonight, someone hit this website with the search string “Mighty Boosh Sayings”. Nice one … oh and “tits” again.

Thats all from me. Good Night.

Postman Twat has again made his made on my search list, along with Welsh+Topless+Girls… well it’s good for me, I have first paw experience hehehe.

So how are we all.? Enjoy your bank holiday did you.?? Yes.?? Well I had to fucking work didn’t I thanks to the fact I work for a worthless company who doesn’t give two wanks about their customers or their employees.

But enough about that, just had to get it off my chest. And yes you guessed correctly, I am still looking for a new job.

Wore that new bag of mine today to work. It was very well received with amused looks. Those spikes are big especially when they poke you in the eye (stoppit, don’t titter now missus).

I am full of chinese again, and Chocolate Orange (maybe they should rename it Kraftwerk Orange just for the amusement factor).

I have just been listening to “The Now Show” from Saturday on Radio 4 “listen again”. They sang a fantastic song all about the man in my title today. It was brilliantly done and they didn’t even use the obvious Blunt/Cunt line.

Did you all enjoy my layout from yesterday’s blog.? I was sat somewhere thinking about how we used to lay out our science books after doing one of those experiments that invaribly leaves the room smelling strongly of sulphur, reeking of over-heated hydrochloric acid or with the entire school assembled around the playground having their names ticked off their registers while the fire brigade attempt to find out who dropped the two pound block of sodium into the first floor boys toilet. It did bring back memories from my past though… Watching my mate literally turn bright green when we suggested babies might zoom off like ballons if you didn’t tie their belly buttons in a knot. Debbie, running out the room in the same lesson leaving a trail of red sick across the floor. Our teacher’s Citroen 2CV getting lumped by falling bricks in a gale, so much amusement.

I must go and, well do nothing actually if I am honest. Just time to say byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.!!!

Aim:-
To actually enjoy New Year’s Eve in an environment of fun and laughter.

Equipment:-
200 people
450 bottle of alco-pops
1000 gallons of beer
750 gallons of cider
1 nightclub

Method:-
Starting in Bar 4 with one of us dressed as a schoolgirl (which wasn’t Hwang for a change.!!) we enjoyed a few drinks and I once again “met the parent”, this time dressed as Lara Croft (her not me.!!). It was busy as hell but still we had seats so it wasn’t too bad. Then we moseyed off towards Phoenix to meet people there. Including Sarah, and Giles/Jim. I found I had lost my eyeliner (dammit) and discovered Andy wearing some for the first time.!! I borrowed Angel’s in the end so I did have soooome on.

Hwang and friends reappeared and we eventually headed to Hobbits.

The place was packed, but it was so good to see everyone out enjoying themselves, literally everyone I expected to see was there which was nice.

Terri was wearing the most bizarre dress, which was lovely of course. She has such an interesting taste in clothing .

I got the first kiss from Angel at midnight which was lovely , but the music was pretty bad after 1am so we spent the last couple of hours sitting sleepily in the corner amusing ourselves and taking the piss out of the “porno couple” that really needed to get a BIG room.

Results:-
A fun time was had by all (for me a first on a New Year’s Eve.

Conclusion:-
I would certainly do it again next year, but would dress up in costume for the next occasion.

Happy New Year Everyone.!!!