Have you ever wondered what would happen if it didn’t matter what words meant when you sung them… for instance, if I sang “Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen” but used the lyrics, “Mr Sheen, love the squeak from your tangerine” then no one would bat an eye lid. And before you say it, yes I know I am being rather incredibly random and odd but how is that different from any other day.? It was just that I was sat here thinking of other song lyrics that can be changed but make no sense (hmmmm obviously it depends on James Blunt butting in there, lets face it, you can’t change something that starts with no sense ).!

So lets see, you could have “My dumps, my dumps; my dumps my dumps my dumps my lovely smelly dumps”, ok childish I know but well, that’s me.! “Shot with a harp, and bought two plaice, you give gloves a mad face”. Bonkers.!!

So we have just been out to the Sea Palace for a very nice meal, the same day as they get fined £20k for having roaches all over the place (cock, not joint). Nice. To be honest I would have eaten them anyway, well as long as they are there I might as well dig in.!!

Hmmm, the job hunting is going very slow… saw a great job running the shop in the Imperial War Museum, but it is a rather long commute.! Actually there was a research post in Antartica, nice idea for a holiday but at only 16k a year, it seems a little bare money wise.!

Oooooh rant time….

Imagine a light that says STOP. Imagine a loud siren that makes you think of danger. Imagine ignoring both of these, now wonder what could happen… thats right, you get mown down by the 7.24am train as it flies past on its merry way… Sad is it not, that people don’t think that trains are a dangerous place to be, but when you walk against a red light, the exact same protection as you get at a road crossing, then you risk death or serious injury.! The level crossing in this case was not a “dangerous” place, it is safe when used properly. Sadly, the father of one of the girls has condemned it as being dangerous. No, no you retard, it is safe, your daughter was wreckless and very silly. Note this cutting…

“But despite a red warning light and “warbler” tone sounding they had no idea another service was speeding towards the station at 70mph, and when they stepped out a couple of feet on to the track they were hit and killed”

Red light, loud noise.. no idea, oh for fuck sake.! Its another classic example of people blaming others for their own stupidity. Driving off toll roads is another.! One more…

“Villagers, who recalled two other deaths on the line in the last 20 years, one a suicide, said the gates for pedestrians could be opened at any time.”

Two deaths in 20 years.??? One self inflicted (selfish c*nt).!!! In the past FIVE years outside my house 3 people have died in road accidents because of their own stupidity. Should the road have barriers across it to slow the cars down.??

It makes my blood boil.!! (Please feel free to post any obvious Essex girl jokes though )

Tomorrow night is a little Buffy fest, then a film, then Hobbits ) Yaaaay.! Then more Buffy Wednesday. Excellent. Sad aren’t I lol.

Bathtime now.! See you soon…. oh but do check out this piccy… HERE

What a day. Actually, what a weird day. Went out last night, stayed (relatively) sober, left Hobbits at 12.30 and got up at 8.30 this morning, just so I could go into our new shop, count stuff and go home. Great.

Spent the day having the piss taken out of me by my one of my workmates to the point where I very nearly told her to piss off and was very close to walked out. Tonight was our staff Christmas do, and I would have gone if not for the fact that between her and another guy, apparently all in jest, but the quantity of the “piss taking” really wound me up so much that I didn’t want to spend another moment in a room with her, or him. So instead I stayed in, Angel came round and we spent a lovely evening watching Buffy and cuddling up together.

It is so nice to feel wanted.

And I am going job hunting again. I have officially had enough.

Now on ITV West the Ten o’clock news introduced by Fluffy Bunny MacDonald…

*BONG* People sit on dance floor clapping in West nightclub

*BONG* Man gets arse slapped in revenge attack

*BONG* Woman gets offended by horse jokes, takes out 30 people with braided hair flinging

*Theme tune… dah dah dah dahDAHdah….daaaaaaaaaah*

Hello folks, it is I, the voice of London and the South East and the one who was arrested after the goat incident.

Ok, enough of the bollocks, there is only so long I can keep it up for (DON’T say it). Welcome to Saturday afternoon (or Sunday if Hwang has failed to get the server back online… hope HE can get it up hehe).! Just had lunch, my well adorned potato shell surprise. The surprise.? It’s got no potato in it… just kidding.

Was an interesting night last night, after the usual hard day’s work. The main highlight was one woman being sick in her own hand in the till queue. Not a pretty sight.!!!! Had half my shop floor staff retching (including me.!) and the rest of them making vomiting noises just to amuse themselves.

Started in Bar4 (saw that one coming did you not), with Tina drinking a 4-Queue cocktail, which included coconut run and apple, a very odd combination but not entirely unpleasant… kind of Vimto-ey tasting. Had a wander over to Route (on the way past DK, Tina tripped over a paving slab and ended up running up Regent Street at 30 degrees to the horizontal, little legs giving it plenty to try not to fall over… it was an amazing save and fucking hilarious to watch) and enjoyed being the older persons in there, well until the Police raided the place again. They never learn in that place. Nic and Rowan joined us in there and we mused over old times for a while, in between taking the piss out of Hwang. Hwang had worn his 9 button CyberDog top, which when we were out last time was repeatedly pressed by every single person that went past (on my request which he didn’t know til last night).

Having established that Nic and Rowan “Are no way going to Phoenix”, we headed in our separate directions, them to Bar4 and us to the rock bar of Weston. No one got ID’ed this time round, although there was not a single bouncer in sight last night, weird.! There we drank drank and were merry. Angel (looking dead seeexy), Sarah and Giles arrived a little later and Nic and Rowan came back despite earlier assurances that they would not be darkening the doors of Phoenix. lol.

There were no bands at all in Hobbits last night so dancing was taking up the space. Had a bop to Audioslave, which they had played twice in Phoenix. Hwang put on Terri’s glasses and instantly resembled someone from a TV programme, I shall post the photo soon and you will see what I mean. While talking to Jim and Snoopy he then proceded to whack me HARD across the ass cheeks, catching a slightly more delicate area on the way past due to the position I was standing in. It hurt his hand but my ass was a fiery shock.! Ten minutes later he did exactly the same thing again… grrrrrrrr. Pain.!!!

Danced to a few more songs, even Voodoo People which shows how much I was enjoying myself. Not sure what I looked like when I danced to that. A while later Hwang tried to drag Sarah and Angel to the dance floor and made the mistake of grabbing hold of Angel’s wool hair bunches, leaving her aghast and him totally non-plussed and apologising a lot. I dragged him to the dance floor while she sorted them out and repinned them. A little later I wandered down from the VIG area and noticed Hwang leaning on the table, backside sticking out. Lets put it this way… I got my own back. Actually i got my own back for both of the butt slaps with just one (primarily due to the run up I took ). He fell to the floor clutching his ass and I laughed heartily and wandered off. More dancing later to How Soon Is Now, where Terri and Hwang sat legs out straight on the floor and did the whole “Oops Upside Your Head” dance and I was told I wouldn’t remember that in the morning hehehe.

So any way here I sit, wondering what is going on tonight… sadly no Angel tonight (Edit, yes she is, woohooo)…. very missing her. We danced to Tool in a very sexy manner last night, I am still feeling it now, lol. I am working at 9am tomorrow and then have my staff party at 7pm. It is going to be a very busy day.!

Oh and my title, I have just brought a new TV for my room. Flatscreen 20 inch, with DVD player too. Very tasty.

Ewe, I wanna take you to a gay baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. hehe.

Ahhh, well Angel has left but 30 minutes ago, in the rain, sniffling like a person with a cold which is ironic considering she is exactly that. Felt all protective and nursy (no no no, I don’t mean the one from Blackadder, that would just be totally odd.!). We spent the evening watching Buffy the vampire slayer. Very unusual for me as I have avoided it for the past 9 years.! Wish I hadn’t now, because I loved it. Bit behind the times I may be but I was gripped. I shall be watching the rest now

Been a very hard day at work. I was the only manager in until 3pm and was being pulled from pillar to post all day. It would have only taken one more stupid customer to come in and ask a daft question and I am sure I would have snapped and fed them head first into a PED.

But tomorrow is Friday and I shall be able to enjoy a night out after another long hard day at the orifice…. I mean office. Sorry.!

On the stats page this week we have “Postman Twat Cartoons”, “Pissed Up Slappers” and “Midsomer Norton Chavs”, which is a rather bizarre set of words to type all together.!!

I am off now to my warm but lonely bed, see you all soon.!!

Goodnight dear hearts.!