I am bored out of my tiny mind.!

Forget squandering my time.

But I have written my Christmas cards.

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*****SLIGHTLY LATER NEWS*****

When do you think you are most popular.? I don’t mean when do people sit around you and gaze and giggle as you recite joke after joke, or laugh heartily everytime you utter a cracking witicism. I mean, when are you most attractive to the opposite sex.?

Is it when you are single.? When you are care-free and wanting people to come onto you.? What about when you are single but not looking.? Or is it when you are attached and already have someone.?

Be honest… think back to your past and add up the times someone has come onto you when you have been in these three situations. Personally I find it is my unavailability that makes me extra attractive to people (not that I am that attractive but you know what I mean). In the last few months I have been through a lot of on again off again relationships, but during that time I have been more popular than ever. Even now I still find people are more “attentive” towards me when they know I am in a relationship.

It is strange isn’t it. Then again, do people seem more attractive to me because they are unavailable.

Or is it all bollocks.?

Interesting. Having a friend who owns a, ahem, “art” site is indeed useful. Just found out I have a free one month subscription to another site. Totally out of the blue as well. Hehehe.

What a slow start to the week. Today has felt like it would never end. At least I have tomorrow off so I can squander my time with a significant other. Wink.

I wonder if Hwang remembers himself wearing a tinselly head band on Saturday night.? If not then I am sure that THIS may remind him… also note the guy with the phone in the background… aka my bro, taking another shot of him from behind .

I still have that rant from Friday to get out my system so here it comes…

The video games industry is attempting to prevent places such as Game, Gamestation, EB, and other small independant retailers from stocking second-hand, so called pre-owned, games. Can anyone see the logic in this.? I mean, lets face it, the bigger places like Tescos or Asda are muscling in on the action and knocking out games with as much as £15 off for a new game.! They get massive discounts from the games producing houses leaving the smaller folk out in the cold. For instance, for the launch of the X-not really great-BOX360 many retailers received only SIX… thats SIX, for sale.!!!

On top of all this, the games producers are saying that any second hand shops that sell only computer based games should pay money back to the original publishers.! Imagine if Ford did that everytime someone sold a car second hand.! After 20 years, you would still have to give money back for a fucked up Fiesta that had 150k on the clock.

What these Ivory Towered fools fail to see is that when little Jonny no longer wants to play his game and get the latest one with his small amount of pocket money, he goes in and uses the old game as credit against the newest ones… so the game shop then sells his old game on second hand and he gets an easier purchase… take away the ability for little Jonny to subsidise his purchase and BANG no new game being sold, bye bye profit, bye bye ikkle independant retailers who actually give a toss, unlike my shop or some spotty 16 year old chav in a supermarket who barely knows his own name let alone what specification PC will run Eve:Exodus.

It won’t ever happen…. but it is frightening that publishers could even contemplate this sort of thing.!

Ok, I am done now… feel better too

It is surprisingly early for me to be up (10.30am) considering I didn’t get home until about 3 this morning.!

Last night was odd, painful, annoying and excellent in various amounts.

The story beings with our hero, Fluffy Bunny, picking up Hwang and heading into town, into a restaurant with only two people in it. Eventually everyone arrived, Rich, Claire, Flea, Sophie (with Rowan and Gem obviously), Tina, Claire, Carl and his ikkle daughter (remember her).! The food was very good, I had a ham, mushroom and bell pepper omelette with chips and peas. First problem… I started there and although I didn’t finish all the food I had, I started on Tina’s salad then when Sophie didn’t want her sausage then I started on that too… and followed it with apple pie and fresh cream. I felt very full but not too bad. Then Carl’s daughter made her ice cream and lemonade reappear. Oh boy did I feel sick then. Couple that with the, ahem, wind I had already and I ended up in quite bad pain, like a horse with colic.! £137 quid paid to the guvnor and we were on our way to Phoenix to meet Angel and “The man with the Golf ”.

It was sodding freezing in Phoenix, which wasn’t helping my stomach ache at all. There was a huge flood in the toilets, which was nice. Kind of like an indoor water feature. . Jay appeared as well, just before we headed to Hobbits.

Imagine a slightly chubby woman in a leather skirt and stockings and suspenders, that was what greeted us on stage singing her heart out. Not a bad band as bands go, but not the best. I was honoured enough to stand at the urinals next to Caffiene Kill’s leader singer (and no I didn’t look, take photos or ask for a teabagging session before any of you ask). Eventually they came on stage and were brilliant as always, with Merv looking at me in amazement because I know all the words to Sonic and was VERY willing to sing it at the top of my voice. I hope I did it justice.!

Angel was looking very tasty last night, but has hurt her back, awwwwwwwww… I did offer to walk up and down it but that was politely refused. Oh well, I did offer. She was being stalked by the infamous Potta, a man who I am unable to find one person who doesn’t think he is a huge tosser. If I see him out tonight I am going to have a word.

The bands finished surprisingly early, but, not being a huuuge fan of industrial music, the DJ set had nothing to dance to until the moment we walked out the door. Sigh. Typical. GolfMan dropped me home (thank you dude.!!) and I snuggled up in my bed.

This morning my new Alev CD turned up (the one with the really hot leader singer, now sadly replaced). The Mighty Boosh has almost appeared on my computer. Not long now.! I am going to have a nice lazy day watching TV etc, then off out again tonight… splitting myself in two between Caz and Nic’s birthdays. Should be interesting.!

Ooooh and get well soon to Braidy… she has a throat infection, which I shall not be making any jokes about…. she is a little hoarse though apparently. Oooooops.! Love you lol.

Time for breakfast… a Nun sandwich perhaps.?

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*****LATE NEWS*****

Well tonight is off to a really good start. Sigh.

I have just been asked if my Bottom is funny. Quite a personal comment really. I think it is just round and not a little hairy.

Actually I am watching series three of the classic Mayall and Edmondson comedy. The Carnival one. “Would you like me to toast your marshmallows”.?

I have had a very easy day, involving not getting up until 1.30pm, eating Subway and shopping with Angel (who is so gorgeous and lovely.!). I got into work at 4pm and finished at 9pm after a most amusing but busy evening with Laura (the one with the twins… ).

We did spend a fag break talking about sweets… a sort of “I remember when” moment… Opal Fruits, Marathon, Bonbons which were softer, those sour sweets that made your gums pull back over your teeth. So many things that have changed, oh and the middle of Milky Way… white now, choccy then. Dammit.! Stop messing with things. Minor rant here… (and no, I am not going to complain about men covered in coal (that’s Hwang’s job, as in lack of them, prancing across the meadows etc etc ). Knorr used to make a very tasty soup, leek and potato, had an amazing flavour, peppery. Then about two years after they brought it out, they released a “new improved flavour” that tasted like dog sick. That was when I stopped buying them. Their loss of my custom, so fuck ‘em.

Took my camera back today, I am going to miss it but it is really too cold outside to use it. I will save up and buy another next year sometime when it is warm again and I can savour the sunsets… saying that, it is nice to see that big oil fire has provided us with a glorious looking sunset tonight, well done to the bloke who blew the place up, I am indeed very grateful.

I have now officially finished my Christmas shopping. There is nowt left to buy, now I have to do all the wrapping. Should be interesting. My pressie wrapping is not the best at times. Actually it can look like someone has set off a small nuclear device in Card Party.

Right well it is late and time for supper now. Sure I will have some ridiculous rubbish to prattle on about tomorrow so I shall see you then. Enjoy.!!

Omelette.! Now.! Grrrrr.! lol

Did you know that the internet porn industry takes more than the entire Hollywood movie industry put together.? What a frightening thought. But then again, think of the major films out at the moment. Remake after sequel after prequel. Somewhere someone is saving a hell of a lot of money.!! Where as the porn film industry has to take a film, rewrite it to make it vaguely dirty and off you go, the non-bits-out film manufacturers are just sitting there going… “Photocopy that Moira and give it to screenplay”.!

As you can tell, I am amazingly bored. Angel is coming round later and I am filling the minutes until she arrives (while also waiting for a pizza to cook, 3 minutes and counting ).

I am still feeling ill, only today I had one of those exquisite headaches that really makes you think someone is tapping you with an 8 pound lump hammer repeatedly about the right temple. My legs ache too, and my arms… actually everything aches.! There will be a small amount less dancing on Friday if I still feel like this. If there is room for dancing of course.!

I really need to do some present wrapping, maybe tomorrow it shall be done.!

*TING* Pizza is ready off to eat for Bunny.! xxxx

I don’t know about anyone else but for me the two strongest ways to evoke a memory are music and odours. Examples.???

Ok then…

I just put on the video for KLF’s 3am Eternal song and BOY does it remind me off my old school. 1990, Lower School, A certain Miss Moir was my crush at the time (I still can’t figure out why she was so popular with the geeky ones in my school, yes I do include myself obviously) and the Gulf war was about to begin. Just the sound of the song brings the same feelings when I was there rushing back. Walking from the tech block through the bike sheds, the smell of the pond and the sight of the quad as I used to wander through. Sitting upstairs in room 7 watching the trains go by from the window in RE. There were other songs around at that time too and some do have the same strong pull (such as Massive Attack’s anthemic Unfinished Sympathy or Jesus Jones’ International Bright Young Thing).

Smell wise, well perfumes always play a strong part in my life, I do use my nose more than any other sense (well I think so). The smell of locomotive diesel really brings on a sense of almost deja vu, all those times stood at the end of platforms in my youth.

Next time something makes you stop and recall a moment from a long time ago, see how strongly the feeling becomes if u just close your eyes and think. You might be surprised.

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Oh horror of horrors, been to Hobbits tonight, well at least to the front gate, which was locked… so we went home… that was it.! Mark is ill and my perfect night with Angel fell to the floor lol. Oh well. It was good until then so I shall pick it back up tomorrow night in theory at least. Watch this space.

Words…. I need to think of some words… most of them four or five letters… some that involve the assumption that people might sleep with animals, abuse small children or are a member of the French Armed Forces…

And all because FIRSTBUS… thats FIRST FUCKING BUS have increased their pissin’ fares in Weston-super-Mare by ANOTHER ten pence.!!!! How in the name of Satan’s donger does that help get people onto public transport.!?! Plus they are employing Polish drivers that can’t actually understand English (so when I turn up tomorrow morning with only £1.20 and he says no, I shall tell him I CAN travel under the national conditions of carriage as he cannot refuse a fare and must take my name and address and invoice me)… petty.?? No way Pedro… Someone is having a wind up at FIRSTBUS (yes I am going for hits on this one, shame I cannot afford to have the entire management structure murdered).!!

Well I can just live in hope that the entire Board of that cunting company move their head office to Hemel Hempstead. Bastards.!!!!

I shall be rude to every member of the Firstbus workforce from now on, and no I know it is not the fault of the lowlings and Commies driving our clapped out buses in this town but they chose to work for them so bollocks to them.!!!!

End of Rant.!

Evening my dear people.!!

Bon and, indeed, jour. How are we all. What a busy weekend… and how odd.!

Lets start on Friday, Bar4 after a VERY busy day at work on Friday. No seats upstairs so sat downstairs. Had a good ole chin wag with the usual suspects, Claire had the WORST Pina Colada ever, warmer than MD’s fries normally are. I drank a lot of it lol. Offered Rich a mouthful of the creamy goodness but he declined most willingly. Odd.! Went to Route for a game of table footy after that… and enjoyed a 5 all draw against Rich which totally amazed me knowing his prowess on a table with little men… Hwang even went so far as to beat 6-4.! I am just waiting for that place to get raided again though, crawling with 12 year olds. Yucky. Still, better than Junction 21 is .

Hit Phoenix after that (yes I know you knew I was going to say that but I tend to be a creature of habit). Lots of drinks were sunk in the freezing cold there and then off to Hobbits for the usual debauched dancing and to meet Angel. Pretty normal night to a certain extent. On the way home we stopped for chips (and I made a completely unprovoked and accidental “I could eat a horse” gag in the car)… and while waiting for chips a very large VERY drunk woman staggered past with her man, picked up a pita off the pavement by the Odeon where someone had dropped it and fucking ATE it.!!! Dirty Whore.!!!

Yesterday was my recovery day where I sat and ate pizza and caught up with a few episodes of “Trainspotting” my dad had recorded on Sky+ for me.

Then last night started in Dominion, with Hwang distraught because he couldn’t beat my QR lap time again, Angel annoyed because I beat her 2-0 on FIFA (she beat me in the first match after I took my left hand off the pad though hehe *awaits slayage*). Then it was Phoenix til late (hoping to avoid the bands in the club) but still managed to just catch the first NFD song when they came on in Hobbits. Nuts. They didn’t get off the stage till 1.30am by which time Hwang had actually gone home.!!! Dun dun DUUUUUN.! To try to prevent people dancing while they packed the stage away they played THE most bizarre combination of tracks. I was singing my little ass off to East17’s It’s Alright, then Angel took the piss out of my E17 lyric knowledge until 5IVE came on and she sang to that. Mwahhahaha. Very odd. Eve more odd was the fact that the place was full of hippies. Seriously.! Like some massive camper van was parked outside disgorging them into the club. Worst dress ever on one of them.! Wow. Sofa cover 1964 style.! They did play a song that sounded like “Crazy Horses” by The Osmonds but a certain someone didn’t find that funny. Weird.!

And today I have spent the entire day (well after a late wake up at 12pm) watching series two of Buffy. So cool. With my other half cuddled up to me and eating jaffa cakes and various meals too. Brilliant.!!

There I shall leave you. Except I wanna leave you with this thought… How about the fact that Tampax are now (seriously!) doing their own mobile phone ringtones… How about something by “The Jam” :D:D

Ahhhhhhh, the taste of Terry’s milk chocolate orange. A very Christmassy taste as I never buy them or receive them the rest of the year. And to be frank the advert is totally correct… it is not Terry’s it is indeed mine (and all for £1.50 from WH Smiths when I bought something else, Viz in this case).

Lots of lovely people checking out my site via slightly weird search strings this week… so far I have “postman twat” on more than one occasion… I am going to have to go and check it out. “Lloyds TSB kiss my fucking bollocks” was high on the list too, so they have pissed someone off big style… more worrying is that my site was TOP of the list on the main search.! “Motorway Sexy” figured in there too along with “Photos of fat people” and “Cleopatra Fags”. Maybe someone should get out more… maybe it is ME that should.!

My application form from sustrans has arrived… along with a biiiig book of info… sounds quite interesting, the wording “might be open on a Saturday from April until September as a trial” made me wonder a little, but then again it would only be from 9 until 1 and part of my working week anyway so I would actually work less than I do now but earn at least £2k more a year. We shall see where it all goes.

Its Thursday night so naturally tomorrow night will be Friday, the night where we go out and enjoy our time off.

I shall be back on Saturday with details of tomorrow night

Enjoy.!

As I have swapped my hours around this week (sadly for no reason as Angel unfortunately had to work this morning, but that’s life.!!) today I am doing the night time delivery. Firsty off I am getting my hair cut. Its not that it is too long to be dangling in my eyes, just that it is too long to make spiky easily (without using half a tub of gum everytime). The results aren’t usually too bad so we shall see how it turns out this time.

Went to the cinema last night and watched The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, pretty scary but in a “this could really happen” way, more than a make you jump way (white noise still wins in that sector, waaaaay too many things to make me leap 3 inches off my seat). We bought a large box of popcorn which I swear I didn’t eat that much of, but it was almost all gone by the end of the movie, I felt like the inside of a packing crate stuffed with polystyrene.!! The film itself was very interesting and certainly worth seeing if you have a spare £3.80 and 2 hours.

There was a very amusing bit where the father of Emily gets kicked in the face by a horse, at which point Braidy spun round in her seat and pointed at me, saying something like “don’t you dare say a word”.! Hehehehehe

Well that is about it for now. Time to get out the house and go find some men with scissors to lop off my locks. Enjoy.

Oh and I have applied for a new job by the way. .. watch this space for info lol.

That’s some hot fucking cock.!

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*****LATE NEWS*****

Well I have just strolled in from work sporting my new hair cut that actually is not as short as a certain someone was worrying about. I had to ask him to leave enough to cover the bald bits and I was actually paying attention this time (it being the male owner and not his delectable female assistant who’s breasts distracted me last time, hence why my hair was shorter than I required). I reminded him about the CD’s I had promised him and he re-iterated his offer of a free haircut when I get my thumb out of my rectum and drop them into him.

I hve just brought something off the net from a website I don’t speak the lingo of, that is a very far away place and I don’t think much of (the country that is not the website). Odd thing is that I totally managed to understand everything on the screen. How bizarre.!

I did pop back to add this news article so I could talk a little more about the whole “possesion” thing (no I don’t mean drugs).! Its a frightening thought that the events that occured in Emily Rose were based on true life. Just imagine if that was you… your body is taken over by something that a lot of the world is too narrow minded to account for. People sent to help you actually make you far worse and prevent your recovery. No one believes you, they just think you are totally crazy and should be locked up….

Obviously worse than that is the fact that your body has been invaded by the devil himself, transposing his identity over your own and using you as his portal on the world. I know it depends entirely on your beliefs, but there is an “evil one” in every religion in the world (remember my own personal view on religion is that we are all praying to the same person, just under different names) so it stands to reason that there should be a dark side to the world in far more than just a criminal way, in a spiritual way as well.

It terrifies me to think it could happen to someone I know, or even to myself. The convincing it would take to show that an exorcism was necessary instead of medical treatment would be quite a task. All we can do is keep an open mind, watch out for each other and “keep the faith” (don’t even go there).!!!

I shall leave you with a though… the Police, etc, are always telling us that the money made from pirate CDs funds the drug culture in the world… but hang on, if it was a legitimate sale in a shop then it would go to the artist (lets take Ozzy Osborne as an example)… and where would they spend it.?? The nearest drug dealer lol.

Spritzers all round.!!!