You all saw this moment coming, so just bite the bullet and read on lol.

What a year it has been… yes a year full of fun and laughter, dismay and pain… oooowwwwweee what a year (way to fill dude.!)

Don’t worry I will keep it short lol…

For me this will be the year that I discovered myself, discovered how I could actually be popular and became Me. I went to Time/Vision for the last time and found it unbearable, started wearing baggies, nail varnish, even eyeliner. It has been quite an experience learning who I really am and being comfortable with my appearence. Plus it is nice to be told that I am A) cute, B) have nice eyes and C) not have people make jokes about my hair when I get it cut.! I have also made a lot of new friends and kissed way to many people lol.

In the world we saw the death of a Pope, the clear up from the tsunami, two huge Hurricanes attempting to blow away thousands of huge Americans, New Orleans inundated with water (rather than women with beads and their boobs out). What else…. well there was the recent big oil explosion in Hemel Hempstead, Friends and Fraiser both ended and of course the terribly underpushed launches of the PSP and Xbox 360’s.

All in all this is one year I certainly won’t be forgetting. Lets hope 2006 is even more “amazing”.

Happy New Year people.!!!

XXxxXX

Ah the final day of the week. I am not working, I am sitting here watching Friends and psyching myself up to go out while I am ill. I should be ok. We shall see. After a few beers and possibly no cigarettes at all, I am sure I can bounce the night away *stocks up on Red Bull*

Also interesting fact, caffeine creates a deficiency in your immune system so preventing your bodies ability to fight off infection. Hence why lots of women who work in offices end up with VD a lot (okay I know that isn’t the reason but it is always nice to take the piss ).

Yesterday’s snow has turned into today’s rain. Joy, but it is slightly warmer so I might only need to wear one pair of trousers out tonight. The day has been slightly brightened up by my MacDonalds. Surprisingly hot fries but a Big Mac that was cold enough to make the lettuce cry. Oh and the coke is flatter than a certain ex girlfriend of mine *awaits slapping from femenist groups*, lol.

I shall hope to see you all tonight, I will be the one sitting in the corner with a bright red nose and Red Bull cans littering the table.

Finally, and the easily offended please ignore the word in this statement “Super large cunt fucks mare”. Interesting search string. Worrying that it hit my site, but not suprising.

Now where did I leave that hippo.??

Oooh and a big helloooo to Miss_Ann_Thropy.!!! Forgot to mention.

Someone looked at my faceparty profile…
This lady here.!! Now let me see… single, CHECK, mother, CHECK, playboy bunny, CHECK, big hoop earrings, CHECK, name with a “Z” in it, CHECK, loves getting “wrecked”, CHECK, loves james blunt, CHECK…. hmmmm not the girl for me.! I smell Burberry, or am I just generalising.?

Ok, it was snowing… then it was not, and now it isn’t really much again. Dammit. 4 days away from a white Christmas. Oh well.

I am ill feel like hell, have come home from work early thankfully and have booked tomorrow as holiday. Plus I have got Sunday off now so can do more Saturday night.!!! As yet I am not sure what is going on so lets have some offers.!!!!

You want to invite me somewhere so make it known.!! All offers are welcome and will be judged on merit… although I can think of one offer I would enjoy more than any other… Some one tempt me and see if you can win a fish.!!

So here I sit, eating toast and drinking hot tea, watching the tiny flakes of snow (come on mate, you can do better than that).! I am sure I will be about tonight so come chat. Because I am so

Damn

Bored.!!!

xxx

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*****LATE NEWS*****

TEN Postman Twat hits. TEN.. and I still can’t find the damn thing anywhere that people are looking for.!!

One other hit was “Yanking It”, so at least someone is having a good Christmas .

There is also THIS A delightful photo thanks to Trixy on the Isle of Wight. Well I think it is lovely .

Well the Hobbits 3 album is coming on slowly, the art work is fabulous though i say it myself… simple but effective .

If you have any ideas for the ten remaining tracks then please give us a shout.!!

Reading that “Everything is Shit” book earlier, I noticed that there is a society in the USA (naturally ) that actually decides what colours are “in” next year… or six months in the future.! I hope you are all having the same WTF moment there because I certainly did.! There website is HERE people, feel free to send them emails that say (Next year the colours will be brown and pink, you time and money wasting tosspots).! If they didn’t have a website then I wouldn’t have believed it was true. On the way I also found a website by an identical acronym (CAUS), only this one was far more believable than people who predict colours… it was the Citizens Against UFO Secrecy.!!!

The world has gone totally Tonto.!!

Started work at 9am, finished work at 10.30am.

Nice and easy Bwana .

Now here I sit with a cuppa and Fraiser on again, waiting for the evening to come. Might get the hoover out in a bit, have a whoosh round. It is Christmas after all.!

Been browsing around the net already and found THIS. It is a compilation of the past year in pictures. Some bad, some good. I know it is from the US of A, but even so, a poigniant reminder.

Back later peeps. Love you all… especially any of you wearing hot pants.

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Rant time…

Why do people add you on MySpace if they have only the intention of making themselves appear more popular… for instance, a musician added me the other day and wanted my approval. I checked out his website first and it started playing James Blunt style, whiney, guitary plop. I denied his wanton desires for my affection by blocking him. But surely he could have saved himself time by looking at my photos. If u play cheesy Daniel Powter style music then don’t try and add the guy wearing eye liner and spikes, it will not be a popular move.!

Boxing Day. The day when traditionally people put on big red gloves and beat the living hell out of each other. Or is that most summer bank holidays in town.? Either way it is thankfully another day off for me and I have started early, enjoying Fraiser, water biscuits with black pepper and cheese. Odd breakfasts I do enjoy . Actually breakfast was chocolate orange hehe.

I have only just realised that it was Winnie the Pooh’s birthday two days ago. He was 80. He still looks good for his age though, doesn’t he.? The first cartoon he appeared in was called “The Wrong Sort Of Bees”, which sounds surprisingly like an excuse for late trains that may have been used by British Rail in the 1980’s.

Apparently… according to those guys over at the Met office, it will be getting a little snowy very soon. But here is Weston it is pretty unlikely so I shall stick with staring wistfully through the window keeping my fingers crossed.

Finally for the moment (I am sure I will get bored later and say lots more)… is that scientists want to add another “leap second” to the world’s time. So that means we shall all lose a seconds sleep very soon…. or a seconds work… take that which way you will.!

I am out for a drinky this evening, or in for one with friends. Enjoy your day’s.!

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Boy has it been a slow day, but I have managed to sort out my room and it is now (relatively) tidy. I have three boxes and a bag of rubbish waiting to go out. I have even flicked a duster over a few places. Shocking.!!

For those of you that hate my petty blogging, Emily…. you know I am talking about you… then leave a comment if you think it is as bad as you thought it would be. Hehehe.

Stumbling around the inty-net i have managed to find the unlock code for my dvd player . Now I can play any region without worrying, so all that overseas porn, please send it here.!!

Hmmm, Postman Twat has generated 3 hits since 12am this morning.!

Weirdos the lot of you.!

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*****LATER NEWS*****

Yes another addendum to today’s talking.

Next year if I say the words “Fancy a drink on Boxing Day.?” someone kick me in the head. I have never seen town so dead. It was like a small dirty nuclear device had been detonated over most of town.! Most of the pubs were closed. The open ones were empty… Phoenix had been transformed into a Greek bar, at least music wise and Hobbits was the three of us and that was it.!! So we cut the night short and headed (shivering violently because it is bloody cold outside) to the nearest taxi rank with a ten minute wait time.

Let us hope it is going to be a bit more lively tomorrow.!

Good Afternoon glorious Britain and the Colonies. I am speaking to you today from my bedroom on the first floor, while the Corgi’s lay around one’s feet.

Well where do I begin… firstly one would like to apologise for not returning to finish yesterday’s post. One was in the public house until later than expected drinking fine port and listening to the fine sounds of drunk gothic types singing badly. Anus Horribilis indeed.!

A very merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it and a very merry “you should try Christianity” to those of you who don’t.

I trust you are all opening your pressies and enjoying yourselves. Please do spare a thought for those not as fortunate as us. For instance, my friend down south is in a YMCA hostel after family problems so is sharing today with four people she really doesn’t know well.

I have received a fantastic book as a present… a very surprising one, and it is so perfectly matched to my character I could have written it.! I have already thumbed my way through the entire volume lol so thank you.!!

Other things lying around include a bottle of Famous Grouse, Shrek 2, Chicken Run, Friends series 4, Father Ted and Fraiser DVDs, lots of chocs and a bundle of smellies. I shall have square eyes but will smell amazing it seems.!!

One present has been opened by my darling girlfriend who thankfully loved her pressie, I can at least stop worrying about that one now.

Oh and my parents got me a calender… of Monkeys. They saw it and thought of me…. Hmmmmmmm.!!!! Cheeky.

Right now it is time I had a nice cuppa and proffered presents to those around the living room, whilst trying not to burp chicken flavoured burps. So lovely am I, hehehehe.

More will DEFINATELY follow later… Happy Christmas you lovely people.!!!

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*****LATE NEWS*****

I am full again, thanks to tea avec une trifle. The debris of lots of presents still litters my house and I still have to find enough room on my already over crowded shelves for all these DVDs *gets out wood and starts banging*. Oi.!!

I have had that letter printed in the paper again. Sadly they lost the bit on the end that went “Are we all going to be selling body parts to pay for our bus tickets by 2010.? And does any one want to buy a kidney.?”

I was watching the video for Mylo’s rip off of the classic Gloria Estefan video “Doctor Beat” earlier… realised it wasn’t the high budget production I usually expect from a music video. Most people that you see in the music biz turn up in cars such as Ferraris, BMWs and high powered American freight wagons . In the video for Mylo… A VW Polo with a roof rack. Classy. Also caught the video for Skee-Lo, hence my second line on MSN at the moment. (I wish I was a little bit taller).

Friends series 4 is running on my TV at the moment while I sit back and contemplate work in two days time with out seeing the missus . I will cope I think. Just going to have to do my exercises more.

Come text me people. I am boorrrred.!

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*****LATER NEWS*****

Friday night’s photos are now uploaded. I will probably have my ass kicked from various directions but there you go. Any one who has a problem may email me and ask for sexual favours in return for me removing the photos again (unless you are male, then you have to buy me beer).

Hwangs Brother
Me and the Jaffa Queen
Jaffa Man
Nice photo but she mooooooves.!
Aww Nice Ladies

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*****EVEN LATER NEWS*****

Oooooh forgot to mention that the Sugababes (a group that releases the song Ugly, irony features heavy there… they dropped the pretty one ages ago (Siobhan)) have lost Mutya. She has a name that reminds me of Wacky Races… can’t work out why, hehe.

Here we are again, sang ITMA during the Second World War… and indeed, we are here, Christmas Eve, with my good sexual self feeling very unfestive for no reason what so ever.!

I am due out again in about 30 minutes and need to slide myself delicately into a bath. I shall say a little more later.!!

I have grave news… my boss has bought a pink Motorola Z3 RAZR. Oh dear. I tried to convince her it was a bad idea (only 5.5Mb of memory and not even the ability to whack a memory card in it, woah there.!) but she persisted. Oh well. From a 6600 to a Z3. Not good

What has today been about.? Well it was about smoking; ikkle cocktail sausages with pickle flavour mini cheddars; dropping TV’s in front of customers; Laughing at people who annoy me; Making cutting remarks about how a certain person’s knees should get to know each other better (you know who you are ).

It hasn’t been to bad really. Plenty of staff, but I did run out of fags and had to smoke menthols unless someone lent me a normal smoke.

And this evening.? Well I have just ordered a curry, while watching Teachers again, playing the Sims (meet the Bongo family) and, well typing this too.!

Just got out the bath, having been lying there reading a book all about Catchphrases… nooooo not the big computer animated drawings with Roy Walker stood next to them (I have met him.!! *shouts of Name Dropper.!!*) but those little sayings that seem so innocuous the first time you hear them, but then grow exponentionally with each subsequent hearing.

How many times a day do you say someone’s catchphrase.? Just like that.? See, right there (Tommy Cooper). There’s one. Oooops, that is one too (Hale and Pace). It only takes a seasoned performer one utterence of a line on stage and an accidental repeat somewhere else and *BOOOM* a new phrase has exploded onto the English language scene.

When you go to work/school/college/dole office/mental ward tomorrow just take note of what both you and other people say and see just how many times you hear a comedians favourite saying, or a film star’s most famous line.

Here’s looking at you, kid.

The last one of my pressies for people has now been packed up and is about to wing it’s way down to the Isle Of Wight (to Trixy of course).

So how are we all.? I am suffering a little from last night, my head hurts despite the fact I only drank two pints and one bottle.!! Not good. Had a really good night. No dancing but lots of sensuous activity with someone.

If you are wondering about the title of today’s entry, it is taken from the history of the Crimean War. Specifically the Charge of the Light Brigade (yet another episode in history where a proud General made a twat of himself and mincemeat of his own troops). 600 light cavalry went into a valley and 329 came out a short while later, all because three people couldn’t agree on something. Bizarre.

Well I have work later. Aren’t I lucky. Hopefully a small one (don’t titter now.!) and I will be home early. If I think of anything else to blog about then I shall blog again later, all over the floor.

Mooo MoooooOOOOOOOOOO.!!

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*****LATE NEWS*****

Tonight I have spent 3 and a half hours at work. Not bad I think. . Consider it luck and a bit of Christmassy love from the warehouse maybe.

I have, tonight, learnt a few things…
1, Silverskin pickled onions are very difficult to open when the jar has been sat hanging around in the cupboard for 6 months.
2, It is impossible to hear the TV when you are eating pork scratchings.
3, If you don’t like a watery mess with your crackers then don’t eat Saint Agur cheese.
4, Coke in a room gets warm if you leave it near the heater.
5, I am able to identify a Peugeot 306 from a picture of only the rear door handle and a bit of the wheel arch.
and finally…
6, If you bring along a trifle from the kitchen with your supper, there is a big chance you will eat so much that you will be unable to manage it.

I think thats enough of those.!