Today is a very sad day in the history of my workplace. Today my very good friend and mincing assistant completed his last shift and walked out of the door for the final time (well not including when he comes back to pick up the “Del Boy-esque” coat and shoes he left). The stockroom will be a far more manly but quieter place without him and his raucous music. I am going to have to find someone else to arse around with.

So tonight we party. I am due out in 56 minutes and counting for the usual debauched Friday night, I am buying Dave a Jagermeister for old times sake, if I am sick then I am apologising now.!

My friend Trixy sent me a wonderful card yesterday defining the Pig Of Happiness. I was most amused and very grateful to her as it cheered me up immensly.

Oh and we got that sodding delivery from last night, this afternoon, so I have done two today and another is being done as we speak. Fucking pain in the arse.!

I am off to cleanse the body of Fluffy Bunny, then I shall be slipping deliciously into some gothic clothing and poncing my way into town.

TAXI…. town please………… well wait for me you little bastard… *runs*

Hello my humble friends, it is I, the King of the Stockroom, the Queen of the Enormous Toastie Sarnie and the Prince of OffGreyness.

First of all I would like to say “hello” and “you are wonderfully fantabulous” to my darling girlfriend, my life is rather hectic at the moment and she is so lovely to have meet me from work and enjoy each other’s company. We shall both of course be out tomorrow and Saturday, enjoying the delights of various bars and Hobbits, indeed. This weekend I am NOT going to get as drunk as I was last Friday and fall over. I hope.

I am getting rather hungry, having not really eaten since lunch time. My delivery was supposed to be in at 3pm but turned up at 4.30pm. DOH. Had another one meant to be in at 6pm but we told them where to shove it. So I am in thankfully early and need feeding. Was just talking about curry with my Angel so I have to admit the idea of a Chicken Naga Jall is nice but the idea of arse failure tomorrow morning fills me (and the toilet) with dread. Even so…. tasty. lol.

Was watching another fascinating edition of “Bug Attack” this morning on Discovery Channel. Fantastic programme that was, this time around, all about different strengths of venom. The show was topped by the presenter and a friend of his getting chased through a rainforest by 200 Nightwasps, a beautiful, long, slender, lemon yellow killing machine. Actually that is not strictly true. They just have the most painful non-lethal sting of any wasp, bee or ant. Oh and they hunt at night just in case you didn’t see that coming. lol.

Other than that it has thankfully been a quiet day. Just sittin’ around. Oh and I watched Friends earlier… lasagne for tea now I think, after a hot bath of course (if I can manage food after drinking all that water and bubbles).

Just to clarify… I’m not Fonzie.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. It has been a very tiring weekend. Out both nights in Hobbits.. showing off my new top on Friday, drinking too much the same night (for some reason every one I spoke to said that Hobbits felt different on Friday but no one can detail as to why. Odd.

I was told by a certain person to make sure they stayed well away from anything that might be construed as “Head wear” after the incidents with the ears and the witches hat last weekend. THIS is the result. Honestly, some people.!

Had a lot of fun though (as he stuffs another brazil nut into his mouth and no that doesn’t mean I am gently fellating Rubens Barrichello either). My other half was dressed to kill as always, and I am missing her now she has gone home again.. grrrrr.

Firework night has come and gone again, thank goodness. I know as a child I was fascinated by the monumental bangs of a “Double Air Bomb” or a “Dutch Hand Grenade”, but some of the stuff that gets let off in peoples back gardens nowadays (that line makes me feel reeeeeeeeal old.!) makes those “Big Bertha” cannons from the first world war seem like a gerbil with a mild case of wind. Plus the fact that I am highly strung and tend to jump at anything then you can see why this time of year can be a minefield of brown trousers days.!

David Blunket resigned then……

….wonder if he saw that coming.?

Oh and the editor of The Sun beat hell out of her bloke, Ross Kemp, and ended up down the cop shop the same day as running a story about Ross’s onscreen brother getting hell beaten out of him by HIS missus. I love it when tabloid journalists screw up.!

Jeremy Clarkson has had to say sorry rather needlessly in my opinion for a comment he made on TV the other night… when someone quipped that his wife was approaching sixty, he replied “Yes but Princess Diana was approaching 120″… leave the guy alone. It is just some dead woman. No need to lose your lunch over it.! I laughed my ass off. . . cue surgery later.

Right sod this, I am off for cheese and crackers, a cup of tea and a little fisting if I time permits. Night night.!

Friday night so not much time except to say… who ever managed to find my sight(sic) through the search term “Dirty slags in their knickers” then well done.!!

The phrase “Don’t Drink and Drive” is a pretty clear message. It is short, succint and pretty obviously a warning of the potential hazards.

Why then, last night, has there been another serious accident involving someone (allegedly) over the limit.

I only found out because the tree two doors down has disappered, sawn off by the council at 6am this morning. The crash happened about 2.30am, one person screaming for help, who wasn’t badly hurt, one person cut free from the wreckage and a third found lying in someones driveway having been flung from the car.

The last time this happened two people were killed. This time they were luckier but just as stupid.

Just don’t fucking do it.!!

Moving swiftly on…

Had a very lovely night last night with Angel, went out for a drink and then back for some fun (hence why I slept through the car thing, and the sound of an early morning chainsaw), and then this morning my new t-shirt turned up, which I of course shall be showing off this weekend. Yaaaaay.!

I am off to beat up a bishop now. (actually that sounds a lot ruder than I really intended). Hehehe. Oh well. Bye for now.