Firstly I would like to post THIS photo, juuuuust to prove that my Stock Manager has indeed got one less sarnie in her hamper. Amazing what a child can leave behind the counter for the Wombles in our place to make use of.

Well it was a pretty long two days. Went into work yesterday at 8.30, left at 12.40, went to the Copper Kettle for breakfast £2.65 for 7 items with tea which was very tasty. Then MARNIE rubbed her car wing down a wall taking off the paint…. something to do I suppose. Still, by 2.15, ish, we had picked up DUGGS were heading off along the motorway towards glorious Milton Keynes. Pretty uneventful journey, stopping at a petrol station for a LOT of supplies, Bicester for the loo and the A40 at Oxford due to the sheer weight of traffic. We only made one turn thanks to my excellent navigation until we got to Milton Keynes. That was when it all went pear shaped until we managed to find Watling Street (a Roman Road, thanks to Time Team for that bit of knowledge) and followed it to our hotel.

Our hotel…. hmmm how to describe it… well imagine if you took all the illegal immigrants in the country and employed them in an office disguised as a hotel that was very posh until you walked into the corridors to the rooms. Then it looked like a brothel in a bad German district. I was sharing a room with Duggs as he had ended up 30 miles away with no transport in Buckingham. Bizarre. Rooms were freezing because the heating was crap, but that wasn’t the worst bit…

Dinner was served in a psuedo-spanish/greek style bistro with bad chairs and expensive drinks. I ordered the swordfish… which came dry, no sauce, no butter for my new potatoes and with no love. Marnie had chicken supreme which turned out to mean chicken on a plate with honey all over it… and the spuds… and a salad that turned up ten minutes later. Worst of all was Jenna. Her cauliflower was so under/over cooked that it was physically impossible (and I am totally serious about this) to cut it with her knife, and her carrots were so ‘al dente’ that they were pretty much raw.

Then we had a couple of pints, Duggs checked in to HQ (some bird lol) and was wound up by Marn and myself with kissing noises and rude comments, especially after he said the phrase “Got any more handcuffs I can break.?”. Nice.!! After that we headed off for a night out in Milton Keynes (still not a phrase that fills me with excitement). Rich drove us into town in his hired MPV (that locked them all out of itself earlier in the evening resulting in Rich having to decide whether it would be cheaper for the company if he just smashed a window rather than wait 3 days for the hire car company to replace the keys).!! Eveeeeentually found the centre of MK, a place called XSCAPE with shops and bars etc inside what looked like a HUGE concrete version of those inflatable tents that coroners put over bodies that are found in woods etc. Had a couple of drinks in JD Wetherspoon’s while shivering in the low temperatures. Marnie and I then caught a taxi back to the hotel and indulged in a little whisky and another pint before heading off to rooms 120 and 117 respectively, the rest ended up in a strip bar. Nothing more needs to be said there lol.

Breakfast was pretty substandard this morning and I would advise anyone contemplating staying in the MK Quality Hotel that they should book into the Holiday Inn across the road.

Our graduation was held HERE, yes it is a church and a round one at that. Inside it was cold as anything this morning, and the 100 Graduates, Performance Coaches, Learning and Development Staff and Managers were all seated within regions and in alphabetical order on seats that were designed to keep your posture as upright as possible. We had an inter region game of “The Price Is Right” this morning (we came fourth) and then wandered to Head Office in our lunch break. They would not let us walk around the building alone so we wandered back and ate a typical buffet lunch with rather nice ASDA own brand lemonade.

Then our Operations Director handed out the certificates (along with someone who I swear was Natalie from Eastenders). He was a nice man personally (but is a bastard as a boss lol). A quick change out of my suit and then it was home time. Took the M4 and dropped Duggs in bath where I am afraid I ate THIS and actually really enjoyed it (hot, fresh and I was starving. Ate all my fries and most of Marnies too lol). Finally got home about half six, and have had a long, hot bath, a shave and caught up with my gorgeous girlfriend who I have been missing terribly.

And tomorrow night… I am out again. . . phew.!!! Done.

I really could not let this one go… my stats page includes the search string “I want to fuck a older woman near my home town”. Thinking the same thing as me.??? Of course you are… It’s “AN” not “A” you retard.!! Other gems include a picture search for the name “hog tied” and text searches for “My Friend Trixy” and “hunny bunny sex toy”. Bizarre world is it not.!?

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