I am eating. I bet you can’t guess what.?

Oh you did… bugger. Yes it is indeed chinese. They have changed the recipe for the hot and sour soup though and I fear there will be much pain in my future.! It is hotter than ever.

I have just finished my night shift (swapped with Baillie-Gates for my night tomorrow, seeing as she has to be in anyway) and thought stopping at the Red Dragon for a few tasty snacks would be a prime idea. And it is indeed.

Been a nice week so far. Monday night was spent watching TV and on ‘ere, then last night was Hobbits night number one (of three lol). Met Hwang and Angel (who finally worked out why I called her that) and Sarah (who I am now banned from referring to as “the one with the horse”, “The Lone Ranger” or anything like that. Can’t see it lasting too long though lol). Started in Bar4 and then wandered off to Hobbits which was remarkably busy for a Tuesday. Mark has put up a gazebo, the reason for which eludes me but there has to be a point to it. Maybe he is planning for an indoor goth style garden party. You heard it hear last.!! .

Today has been one of those days where I get up late, check my email and then plonk myself down in front of a Sky channel (usually between 551 and 566, the “interesting” channels) although I was scanning through the music ones too, caught most of ArchEnemy’s Nemesis and a great band called THE HURT PROCESS, very good, will be watching out for them. Then I found Bug Attack was on, one of my favourite programmes. This time it was all about blood sucking insects… and worse…. Bot Flies. Ever heard of those.? One of my worse fears in the entire world is to come into contact with the horrible little bastards.! It is not so much the fly that scares me as for it’s junior version, the maggot. You see, a female Bot Fly grabs a normal house fly or similar in mid air, lays it’s eggs on the underside of the housefly and fucks off. Pretty nasty so far right… well it gets a shed load worse.!!

When the house fly (or what ever it is) lands on your body for a rest the heat from your arm/leg/scrotum hatches the eggs. The maggots drop onto your skin and find a hair follicle and quickly bury themselves in your body… totally.!! Unless you have seen the thing diving in then you will probably not even realise it is there, at least not until the scratching starts, or you feel it moving around inside you. Then you get partial paralysis, vomiting, headaches, oh and a lovely weeping sore. When you think it can’t get any worse then THIS wiggles it’s lovely way through your skin and wanders off across the bed clothes.! Does it ever get any worse than that.?? Ewwwwwwww 8O8O8O

Probably about time I shut up and let you all get on with your work/doing nothing but dozing on your keyboard/stealing people’s drinks when they ask you to look after them/ etc etc.

Keep smiling and remember this… it is better to be the Happy Pig than the rather annoyed truffle.

PS… while I am here, I though I would invite you all to go and have a butchers at my lovely colourful MySpace site… click HERE. It is pretty… is it not.?
PPS… I was thinking about this last night, and have been musing about it all day. Why am I such a jealous person.? What is it in my head that causes me to feel so “green”.?? Is it because I am a Leo.? Is it because I am boxing above my weight.? I truly don’t know. I do know I’m not “aggressively jealous” because I am not that daft. If someone talks to Angel when I am nearby then I will let them talk, if they get over friendly then I would step in and introduce myself.

Maybe it was all those years with a certain person (yes I know I was bad too) that has caused my insecurities to become worse. I know Angel would never cheat, and I would never do that to her. Just that I worry I suppose. Ah well, it is almost Christmas. I know she will make me very happy when I watch her opening her presents.

Love you.!!

Ello moi luver’s.! Hows we all doin’ then ‘ey.?

Sunday night. The traditional time for me to say “My pizza will be here soon”. But tonight I am not sure if pizza will indeed be forthcoming. Only time will tell, but I have to admit I have been dreaming about another American Hot one since Monday (and when I say American Hot one I mean pepperoni and jalapeno peppers, not Tom Cruise smothered in chilli sauce… ewwww).!!

I didn’t actually get out of bed today until 3pm. Not for that reason….. ok well partially for that reason and partially that I am still knackered from the rest of my weekend. Have spent the day cooking a hearty breakfast (at 1.30pm) for Angel, then lazed around doing stuff all until tea time arrived. Such a nice life I lead .

Back to last night, as I am sure you are all dying to know where we went lol. Yeah right.!!

Carl had his birthday today so last night started at his house, enjoying one of his theme parties. This time round it was the turn of the Bavarians to be copied mercilessly. A german theme night and I didn’t even turn up in an SS uniform (shame Prince Harry wasn’t there.!!). HWANG was there so was MIKE and RICH plus of course little old ME (thanks to DJ Spanky for the hat, Hwang did put it on first though.!!). Dj Spanky, incidentally, was the only person to turn up wearing a costume, in this case a pair of leather hot pants which lead to Hwang asking the question “Did you come out in them.?”, you can imagine the replies he got to that.! A few sausages later and the drinking games started. Girls (and a certain male personality) against boys. To be honest I just kept ending up taking shots without knowing who the hell won. The choice of shots was interesting at best and horrific at worst. Jagermeister, Raspberry schnapps and some sort of very tasty strawberry and lime liquor. The schnapps could quite easily have passd for turpentine and the Jager for cough medicine, although I didn’t mind that… it did stop me coughing for a bit.!

We moved on (eventually) to the Town Cryer and Angel and Sarah (with the horse) joined us along with my brother. One of Carl’s mates fell down the stairs to much amusement from the bar staff and my table who were treated to the sight of him finishing the journey on hands and knees lol. Then it was off to Phoenix for a final pub before Hobbits. Was very busy. Hobbits wasn’t however. Pretty much standard night out from there on… apart from the fact that they didn’t close at 2am and my bro didn’t get in until 3am. We got in, had some toast and settled down to a nice warm duvet and some sleep.

So tomorrow is another fun day at work. No visit this week, no AIM graduation, nothing out of the ordinary as far as I am aware, so I should be able to have a nice normal week (suddenly remembers that the conveyor is out of action all tomorrow and THAT is not going to be fun. So i you come in my place and wonder why the service is a lot slower than normal then don’t say I didn’t warn you before hand.!!

Oh well, less than a month to Christmas and I needa steering wheel so I better check out what is around.!!

See ya all soon me luvers.!

Odd. Two sportsmen die within two days of each other and I am feeling so very different emotions about them both…

Firstly, George Best. A talented footballer who decided that the taste of alcohol was better than life itself. Someone who hit his wife and took someone else’s chance of a useful life (by having a liver transplant and then going back to his old boozing ways rather than attempt to live his life in a more meaningful and helpful way). Some people say “He should be left alone because he was a legend, he can live how he wants”. Fine, but if you are given a second chance at life after abusing your body to the point of organ failure (and of course taking that chance away from a more deserving person), then you should at least take a good hard look at yourself and sort it out.

Then today, Richard Burns, ex-World Rally Champion, passes away after a long fight against a brain tumour. He won the title in 2001 at the wheel of a Subaru, the first Englishman to do so. Diagnosed with cancer after passing out at the wheel of his Peugeot a couple of years ago he fought bravely through chemotherapy and surgery but sadly died yesterday. Now you see, no chance at a second attempt at life. But not his fault he was ill. Sometimes fate can be so unfair.

Moving swiftly on…

I have a bad hangover, thanks to a couple too many last night. Didn’t get out in town until 8.30pm meeting Lisa and the one they call “Dances With Horses” in Bar4. One quick pint and then off to Route66 where a guy turns up in a very gay “hairdresser’s car” (Mazda MX-5)… yes it was Hwang back from his meal in Ole Bristle Town. So we stayed for another drink plus a Raspberry sourz thingy courtesy of Tina. Phoenix beckoned next where “someone” drank Absinthe. Probably not a good idea Hwang, considering how drunk you were to start with.!

Then Hobbits was wandered off too, just in time for the band to have finished (they sounded like Killswitch sung by three year olds apparently).
Caught up with a few friends (such as Dave, I haven’t been feeling very camp since he left work and last night it all came out at once, so to speak lol). Amusing highlights of the night include very tall black guy and very short but surprisingly ugly blonde bird getting chucked out the gents loos together. Watching the two bouncers suddenly grab a dancing guy and carrying him outside in the blink of an eye. Making lots of bad horse gags too.

Hwang left before I did for a change. No idea why though.! Must have been because he was so drunk but it may have been because he didn’t like Tool. Lol.

And tonight I do it again. There will have to be a back up on this hangover though. It hurts.!!!

Brrrrrr. It is still cold as hell out there (hmmmmm cold as hell, something doesn’t quite add up there does it.??).

It has been a busy week for little old me. Worked late Monday, Tuesday (didn’t get in Hobbits until 10.30.!) and of course last night. Our visit from one of the top brass went off well, they loved how tidy the place was and we gave them food for thought (and a little bile I like to think). It does mean that Trish and I get taken out for a meal on the company, Sea Palace here we come.!!

Tonight Hwang is out in Bristol with way too much money for the task in hand. He will either come back wrecked or fucked. Take that how you want. Hopefully he will be meeting us in Hobbits much later where I shall be holding my usual court and musing on the strange and wonderful bitterness of life, with a special mention to the Government and with luck and a little voodoo, Gordon Brown might end up dead in a nasty car accident.

Enough from me now, time to bathe and get ready. Maybe I should do a webcast from my bath Nah, it would just make some of you ladies realise what you are missing out on, mwah hahahaha.

Byeeeeeee.xxx

My word, it is very cold outside. It was just as cold last night whilst we were (stupidly) out in town wandering between pubs. Takes your breath away *Sings and drives Peugeot 405 Mi16 through burning sugar cane field*.

Welcome to the Sunday night edition of “The Bunny Show”. While I await my pizza (American Hot from Domino’s, I shall apologise now for the state of the toilet tomorrow) I will endeavour to entertain and make you laugh.

Back to last night. We started in Dominion, the traditional Saturday night starting haunt so Hwang can enjoy the use of an X-Box game called Quantum Redshift (remember F-Zero on the SNES and 3G on the N64, mix em together and you get QR). Now he enjoys beating my times on each circuit and getting his “Name up in Lights”. Until last night where I basically shat all over his lap times and he was unable to beat them, hehehe. A cold walk followed to the Cabot, where we sat under the switched on air con and shivered a lot. Then we ambled (ambled.??? yeah right, it was a fast run so that we didn’t freeze on the way.!) to Madisons *grinds teeth*. Must have been cold out because walking behind us were Gem, Chris and Claire, and it felt like six small knights carrying out stretched lances were walking behind us, lol.

Madisons has reached new heights for me as of last night. They charged me £3 for ONE bottle of Smirnoff Ice. THREE FUCKING QUID.!! Next time I am not going to drink in there at all. Jumped up little, money grabbing bastards.!

Elephants was next on the list. It was a little warmer but SOMEONE decided to put the chairs in a circle (I am beginning to wonder if said person was pretending to be in a Red Indian ambush, “Circling the wagons”) right by the sodding door. I did tell the barmaid I loved her though, she charged me £1.50 for a bottle of VK and after the shock of Madisons it was a genuinely nice surprise.! I didn’t really love her, she looked a little like Jack Nicholson.

My choice of pub was next, Phoenix of course, which was lovely and toasty. A drink or two there (and the traditional stealing and wearing of a brightly coloured object by Hwang, LOOK and it was time to move on to Hobbits…

…now the band that were playing when we walked in was, well, different. Trouble was, as much as I enjoy screamy, rock music, the band on at the time were something else. The lead singer’s voice was sooooooo annoying that I actually wanted to hide away from the sound until it was over. Every line of every song sounded identical and his screechy vocals did nothing to entice my ears into enjoying the experience. The Asian dude on the bass had a much better style and voice. Maybe a promotion can be had for him.!

Lots of the usual suspects were out last night. Monkey Boy Jim arrived and shook me warmly by the testicles. Mr David, sir, was there too, fresh from his triumph in Bristol the night before (sick on mates’ mum’s car, sick in three rooms in his own house and got thrown out of Academy for falling over). Angel arrived about 12.15 and got 15 minutes worth of hugs before we put each other down, so lovely. Then it was dancing time. One of those night where the songs playing were ok but nothing to really push you into anything. We let at 2am with my bro in tow. It was hellishly cold out there by then. Brass monkey weather A+.!!

Today I have been Christmas shopping in town with Angel, via Subway, work, then home for a roast and a pizza. The pizza is now resting comfortably, but I know I will suffer for it tomorrow.!

I shall be off now then. Enjoy your evenings peeps.

The Man from Del Monte, he say…… whose nicked all my pineapples.????

Well It has been a very odd day. I am not entirely used to working Saturdays, especially when I didn’t get in until 2.30 this morning. Last night was odd as well due mainly to me having been working until 9.30 and rushing out straight from the shop.

First off let me just annoy Mr Beaton by mentioning his “being picky” point on the last post’s comment. I use a full stop as a way of giving a little space between punctuation and text, so hence why .!! or .??? get used instead of just the marks. Lets face it, if I am already over using a method of stopping a sentence (!! or ??) then adding a full stop as well is not going to cause a lot of fuss.

Moving on, I did something very stupid last night that I know I am going to be punished for tonight. It was not me being naughty, it was me misreading a phone number and a text message going to someone other than my beautifully gothic girlfriend. I shall let you know what occurs lol.

And so to tonight. Dominion to begin then Hobbits to end, no idea where to go to in the middle though… possibly not Route 66 as it is turning into a fight club. Bit of a punch up last night that was calmed down eventually by Jay (very proud of him we were too). Maybe if they heeded what the Police say when they raided the place last time and actually kicked out the underage kids and trouble makers… well it is their own fault.

Now more from the stats page… “Porn Piles”… hmmmmmm. Is this one of you.? What in hell did the search bring up.?????? It is a very scary thought *types it into google*…

…oh right.! Weird.!!

Bye all.!!!! Love you.xxx

PS… oh and the title.? It is from a Pulp ‘B’ side.

Firstly I would like to post THIS photo, juuuuust to prove that my Stock Manager has indeed got one less sarnie in her hamper. Amazing what a child can leave behind the counter for the Wombles in our place to make use of.

Well it was a pretty long two days. Went into work yesterday at 8.30, left at 12.40, went to the Copper Kettle for breakfast £2.65 for 7 items with tea which was very tasty. Then MARNIE rubbed her car wing down a wall taking off the paint…. something to do I suppose. Still, by 2.15, ish, we had picked up DUGGS were heading off along the motorway towards glorious Milton Keynes. Pretty uneventful journey, stopping at a petrol station for a LOT of supplies, Bicester for the loo and the A40 at Oxford due to the sheer weight of traffic. We only made one turn thanks to my excellent navigation until we got to Milton Keynes. That was when it all went pear shaped until we managed to find Watling Street (a Roman Road, thanks to Time Team for that bit of knowledge) and followed it to our hotel.

Our hotel…. hmmm how to describe it… well imagine if you took all the illegal immigrants in the country and employed them in an office disguised as a hotel that was very posh until you walked into the corridors to the rooms. Then it looked like a brothel in a bad German district. I was sharing a room with Duggs as he had ended up 30 miles away with no transport in Buckingham. Bizarre. Rooms were freezing because the heating was crap, but that wasn’t the worst bit…

Dinner was served in a psuedo-spanish/greek style bistro with bad chairs and expensive drinks. I ordered the swordfish… which came dry, no sauce, no butter for my new potatoes and with no love. Marnie had chicken supreme which turned out to mean chicken on a plate with honey all over it… and the spuds… and a salad that turned up ten minutes later. Worst of all was Jenna. Her cauliflower was so under/over cooked that it was physically impossible (and I am totally serious about this) to cut it with her knife, and her carrots were so ‘al dente’ that they were pretty much raw.

Then we had a couple of pints, Duggs checked in to HQ (some bird lol) and was wound up by Marn and myself with kissing noises and rude comments, especially after he said the phrase “Got any more handcuffs I can break.?”. Nice.!! After that we headed off for a night out in Milton Keynes (still not a phrase that fills me with excitement). Rich drove us into town in his hired MPV (that locked them all out of itself earlier in the evening resulting in Rich having to decide whether it would be cheaper for the company if he just smashed a window rather than wait 3 days for the hire car company to replace the keys).!! Eveeeeentually found the centre of MK, a place called XSCAPE with shops and bars etc inside what looked like a HUGE concrete version of those inflatable tents that coroners put over bodies that are found in woods etc. Had a couple of drinks in JD Wetherspoon’s while shivering in the low temperatures. Marnie and I then caught a taxi back to the hotel and indulged in a little whisky and another pint before heading off to rooms 120 and 117 respectively, the rest ended up in a strip bar. Nothing more needs to be said there lol.

Breakfast was pretty substandard this morning and I would advise anyone contemplating staying in the MK Quality Hotel that they should book into the Holiday Inn across the road.

Our graduation was held HERE, yes it is a church and a round one at that. Inside it was cold as anything this morning, and the 100 Graduates, Performance Coaches, Learning and Development Staff and Managers were all seated within regions and in alphabetical order on seats that were designed to keep your posture as upright as possible. We had an inter region game of “The Price Is Right” this morning (we came fourth) and then wandered to Head Office in our lunch break. They would not let us walk around the building alone so we wandered back and ate a typical buffet lunch with rather nice ASDA own brand lemonade.

Then our Operations Director handed out the certificates (along with someone who I swear was Natalie from Eastenders). He was a nice man personally (but is a bastard as a boss lol). A quick change out of my suit and then it was home time. Took the M4 and dropped Duggs in bath where I am afraid I ate THIS and actually really enjoyed it (hot, fresh and I was starving. Ate all my fries and most of Marnies too lol). Finally got home about half six, and have had a long, hot bath, a shave and caught up with my gorgeous girlfriend who I have been missing terribly.

And tomorrow night… I am out again. . . phew.!!! Done.

I really could not let this one go… my stats page includes the search string “I want to fuck a older woman near my home town”. Thinking the same thing as me.??? Of course you are… It’s “AN” not “A” you retard.!! Other gems include a picture search for the name “hog tied” and text searches for “My Friend Trixy” and “hunny bunny sex toy”. Bizarre world is it not.!?

Ah carnival night here in Weston. Or as I know it, the night where pikeys from all over the west country come to sell cheap tat on the streets and hot dogs infested with the Ebola virus to small children. It’s not really that bad but I do so love to paint a pretty picture. Lots of people all over town tonight, we closed at 5pm but thanks to just one customer who caused us huge amounts of hassle, not his fault though bless him just bad luck, I still didn’t get out till 5.45.!!

Had a lovely hot bath and fell asleep in it earlier…. I hate that “sleepy” taste you get when you nap during the day, yuckky.

Angel is working hard tonight so I hope she is not too tired to bounce up to Hobbits tomorrow… and then Milton Keynes on Wednesday. One good night to a bad one… oh well free food I guess. And breakfast is served till ten late start there then.

Pizza now I feel so I shall disappear. Have a good one… and if you can’t be good then be, well, bad.!!

Yes he did it, the massively eye-browed Brummie won the first ever GP masters event in South Africa, leading home the 58 year old Fittipaldi and Riccardo Patrese bringing up the rear in third. Not the most eventful or exciting race but it really took you back. Especially as the commentator was none other than the legendary Murray Walker. The man that made motor racing commentary what it is today. Continuously mis-guessing and badly remembering information, he made Formula One and Touring Car come alive. Thinking back over the years, his sadness over Senna’s death, hearing him say “And Damon Hill is the world champion, and I’ve got to stop there, because I have a lump in my throat” in 1996 as Hill won the title, watching him ask one time Brabham owner Bernie Ecclestone “What do you remember most about buying Maclaren.?” when he actually meant Brabham. Oh so many memories. But the one thing that always sent a shiver down my spine, 1997 in Hungary, Hill in the underpowered Arrows-Yamaha taking 4th on the grid and then snatching the lead from Schumacher at the first corner on lap 9… his quote… simply “And Damon Hill leads.!!!” but said with all the passion and drive of actually being the person in the car at the time. Wonderful.

Normal things again now… Went out and had a lovely time last night (and when we came back :D:D)… thankfully My darling Angel is much better but couldn’t drink so Mr Del Monte sold a fair few orange juices. Was a pretty standard night… sitting in the Imperial cocktail bar, lit only by candles while someone tells you it is haunted, then into Hobbits where Mark was cooking a curry, which made me feel both sick and hungry in one.! Goodness knows what it was… but I had already eaten a Kharai which was awfully nice. Oh and Angel got some of her curry down her leg and skirt… but it was magic curry that blended in with it’s surroundings…

Korma Chameleon…

Sorry.!

I have just been enjoying a motor racing qualifying session featuring Nigel Mansell (on pole position), Emerson Fittipaldi, Christian Danner, Derek Warwick, Riccardo Patrese, Eddie Cheever, Rene Arnoux, Jacques Laffite, Hans-Joachim Stuck, Patrick Tambay, Andrea de Cesaris, Elisio Salazar, Jan Lammers and Stefan Johannsen. Classic names from Formula One’s history. You see, this weekend is the first time running for the Grand Prix Masters event. Everyone gets the same car (a 3.3Litre Cosworth engined low revving 1980’s style machine with low downforce, lots of mechanical grip and nowt to help the driver apart from a “paddle-flip” semi-auto gearbox) and then they head out onto the track for a spiffing race…

The event is taking place in South Africa at the Kyalami circuit (itself a famous racing venue from the 70’s and 80’s). Just hearing the low exhaust note from these cars on TV was enough to take you back to the sights of Mansell and Senna fighting it out in Jerez, Arnoux and Villeneuve tusselling in Dijon and Andre de Cesaris crashing every car he ever drove.

Heady days.

Sorry it’s all car based today but it’s my blog and I shall ramble if I want to.!!!

Well almost all car based…

Angel, get well soon. You scared the hell out of me last night. Hope you are feeling better today. Love you.!!