I have been sitting here quietly contemplating the idea that I am a bit of a slag. lol. I have slept with a lot more women than I thought I had.! Thankfully though, I have now found someone who I can see a proper future with, if things work out ok, and I can just enjoy my time with her and see how things pan out.

Now I have that off my chest…

Been a busy bunny today. Lots of things have got done at work at my paws, like rebinning the Christmas stuff to make sure it all actually fits in the racking, and sending back all the stuff that those annoying bastards have ordered into the store and then not picked up. Wish we could make them pay for it first, that way they would NEVER forget to collect it. It does give me a little sick pleasure when someone turns up a day late and I have sent it back literally hours before. Mwah hahahaha. Such power is all mine.!

Some odd weather going on today. At 3.30pm it was bright hot sunshine, one hour later (the standard permitted maximum gap between fag breaks when trying desperately to avoid doing too much hard work in an after lunch situation), it was pissing down. Has brought the temperature down though, thankfully, getting a bit fed up of hot and muggy.!

Our cooker broke down on Saturday (which caused the rather large issue of me having pizza for two meals in succession, ok the second one was from a shop with chips, gherkin and spring roll but even so). Last nights roast was all there apart from the roast joint so I had seven sausages to replace it. Seven.?? I hear you cry.!! Yes seven, but they were washed down about 3 hours later with a hearty chinese (to replace the usual Sunday night pizza). I had the “Hun Ming” duck which, to be a little indelicate, did indeed “Ming” this morning when it politely asked for a divorce. Ahem. Tonight however my brother is making me a sandwich of near biblical meaty proportions. Lets see that woman on “You are what you eat” get THIS out of my colon.!!!”

Incidentally, my friend Holmzy has made himself a blog all about the stuff he eats. A brilliant idea and one which I wish I had thought of.! Go and have a look HERE.

Right the sarnie is calling, as is my bro, so I must away.

I shall leave you with this thought… tonight is Halloween. But when it comes to Most Haunted, someone has got Yvette Fielding snooping round their dark creepy areas EVERY night of the week.

Happy All Hallow’s Eve you bunch of rancid zombies, you.!

Oh and if that doesn’t scare you… this might… Sorry!

Evening all…

…Hope we are enjoying the weekend. I have been eyeing up Madhur Jaffrey’s tasty curry dishes this morning, both on Saturday Kitchen and UKTV Food. Might have to get my thumb out of my behind and have a go at making a curry. It is one of the few things I have yet to create (this is of course ignoring the disaster that was my Lime Pickle that left my ex’s white kitchen units, microwave, cooker, floor, covered in little black mustard seeds).

Have been excrutiatingly busy at work. Took £23,000 yesterday (Portishead store took £12,000 on the day before and that was their OPENING day, usually one of the best of peak days of the year). Place was full of the usual shouty customers but I did serve one rather delightful lady who had ordered something wrong and needed little old me to sort it out. The place is slowly filling with Christmas temps, or as we call them Christmas mingers, and I am having my usual problem of not remembering their names as quickly as I should. Shouts of “Oi, missus, get on a till please.!” are not uncommon.

Last night was Hobbit’s Halloween party. The place was full of costumes ranging from the standard (Man in black robes with scary mask) to the rather off topic (girl dressed as Alice in Wonderland). Was very hard to work out who was who, it was like being in a completely different nightclub (actually it felt a little like a school party from when I was about 10, but I am not sure why).! We had started in Bar 4, waiting for Hwang to gobble a mexican… then moved onto Phoenix and then Hobbits. Was a lovely night, with my other half wearing a greyhound skirt and I thoroughly enjoyed a little dirty dancing to Tool (Aenema, a slightly odd song to dirty dance to as I have mentioned before but I think it’s dead sexy).

Also I have been reading something interesting… well to me at least. You see we mark VE Day, VJ Day, D Day, all as part of our heritage and us beating hell out of various Germans and Japs, but we never celebrate the day when the Battle Of The Atlantic was won. At the start of WW2 the Atlantic was about to start being a hunting ground for the U-Boats, armed merchant raiders and pocket battleships of the Kreigsmarine (German Navy), and sure enough it was to be a very hard fought battle between an unseen enemy and the stupidly brave men of the Merchant Navies of various Allied countries. These weren’t people in uniform as such, just ordinary mariners that carried our goods, petrol, food etc, across the sea, usually the older men, fathers, grandfathers, just thrown “in at the deep end”. They knew they might meet a terrible fate such as drowning or being blown to hell as a torpedo bit into the hull of their ship (and I think you will all agree there is something cruelly obscene about watching footage of a ship sinking, remember that imagery of HMS Bulwark, a WW1 battleship that made it into WW2 only to be destroyed by a torpedo in the Med, rolling onto her side and suddenly disappearing as fire swept through her magazines. Appalling). They get very little recognition for helping us to win the war and I think we should do just a little bit more to mark the occasion. Rambling over.
Into other news now…

A group of students in The Forest of Dean have been moaning about not enough speed cameras in their area because their mates keep killing themselves by driving too fast. Bunch of twats. Why not tell your mates yourselves, and if someone gets in a car that is driven at high speed and that person then gets back in the same car with the same driver and is killed well then is that not THEIR responsibility.? Rather than getting the tax payer to foot the bill for their mates stupidity, then why not educate them themselves. Simple. Then again, a few less Saxos and Escorts on the road is never gonna be a bad thing.!

Schools news… The Government wants people to pay for their own schools. Isn’t that what we do anyway. You pay taxes, it pays for the schools. No one seems to have recognised this.! Idiocy takes yet another Labour Left footed step towards insanity.

Here in Weston the C(unt)ouncil have given planning permission to themselves (oooh didn’t see THAT coming) to build the “fucking stupid carrot” on Big Lamp Corner. I am praying that someone vandalises it so badly it has to be pulled down in under a month.! Waste of money and space. Just like our C(unt)ouncil.!

I shall leave you with a few photos from last night… enjoy…

Hwang’s Hat,
Hwang’s Mask,
Hwang Angel Hat,
Sultry Angel,
Danny Clown,
Bob No Teeth,
Lara Croft,
Monkey Boy Jim.

It is with a degree of mild amusement that I notice a certain large continent of the world is being battered to hell, once again, by the actions of a big hurricane… namely Hurricane Wilma (giggles as he waits for Hurricanes Fred, Barney and Betty) pounding The Mighty United States Of America.

As this is one of the biggest Hurricanes on record with wind speeds of well over 150 miles an hour, and the third big blow within a very short space of time (those citizens of New Orleans are still pouring the water out of looted DVD players and binbags full of Nike trainers), then I wonder if any one will say… “Hang on there a darn minute. What in tarnation is goin’ on.? Maybe it’s got sumthin to do with that Globaaaal waaarmin’ thing-a-ma-jig”.

See where I am heading.??

As one of the most developed nations in the world (hmmmm, unless you have met any one from California obviously) they also hold the great big oil soaked, exhaust fume blackened, chemically eaten flag as one hell of a polluter. Mr G(lorious) W(anker) Bush is doing his damned hardest to find those mysteriously missing weapons of mass destruction (which to be honest not even a team comprising of Miss Marple, Poirot, Inspector Morse and Sherlock Holmes would ever find) but refuses to sign the Kyoto treaty to reduce CO2 emissions and stop us all being flooded out.

So just remember America, with your massive love of fast food drive ins, pulling up in your V8 powered gas guzzling SUVs and weighing the damn things down with 180 Big Macs at a time. When it gets rather blowy and your family and house disappear into the distance at a fair rate of knots then say quietly to yourself…

“I made this.”

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Just had this handed to me… Elton John is releasing a single to commemorate the death of Ronnnie Barker….

Four Candles In The Wind.

Sunday night. Night of the steaming pizza and chips, but not this week. I am having one of my delicious Goodfellas pizzas (pepperoni and cherry tomato) as my bro has decided that eating another takeaway this week maybe be detrimental to his waist line. Heyho. I can cope. And the Goodfellas Ciabatta base ones are truly THE BEST pizza you can eat in your own home.

I am still coughing, although thankfully not quite as much as I have been so maybe I am slowly recovering after all. Smoking my way through a lot of fags between Thursday night’s Dominion escapade, Friday night and Saturday night has just made things a little worse I suppose.

Watched a band called 209, meet them HERE, on Friday. Enjoyed it immensely. Especially watching the lead singers sweating face light up in amazement as my friend danced in his usual “Des’ree” arm waving fashion to 209’s hard music.

No bands on last night but was a friends birthday so ended up in Yates bar paying through my ass for a drink. They made a beeline for Senioritas afterwards but I dislike the smell of socks and the possibility of catching some nasty disease just by standing anywhere near some of the people that frequent that “place” so Angel and myself headed up to Phoenix and had a lot of laughs with the peeps up there. We ended up in Hobbits, of course, had a good dance about, a certain someone turned up sans mobile AGAIN. I shall be welding the next one directly to his scrotum just to make sure he doesn’t lose that one as well.!

Today has been a lazy day, curled up in bed until midday, then after brunch we watched the entire third series of Father Ted… Oh right there Ted. I see you now. . Angel caught up on her sleep while just enjoying a purely unproductive but warm and cosy day. Awwwwwwww. Lol.

Forgot to mention last Thursday that I met Angel’s sister… Call her Emmy-Lou (I will be beaten for that ). Lovely girl. Most amusing. Then last night met her Mum in a gorgeous VW Scirocco with added G60 supercharger out of the Golf/Corrado. Truly a bizarre way to meet someones Mum for the first time, especially when SOMEONE is standing behind you going “Fuck me, nice car.” Lol. Oh, first impressions, be gone.

It is going to be a busy week this week. I am working later than normal to finish my AIM coursework, ironic considering the only AIMing I wish to be doing with relation to the work itself is AIMing it directly into a large bonfire having wiped it repeatedly *CENSORED ON HYGIENE REASONS* cheeks.

I had better go and put my pizza in the oven otherwise it won’t ever be ready will it.!

That’s not how you wash it…… Give it ‘ere.!

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*****NOT MUCH LATER NEWS*****
Forgot to mention I have put up some photos from last night… they are… Angel, Sarah H, Giles, Other Sarah, Mr David, Sir.

Oh yes, and I found this (Tab.??) on a seat last night. It was a pretty crude ecstacy tablet I am guessing. To the retard that requires it to have a good time, I hope you don’t want it back. I made sure it was well crushed into the beery mess on the floor. Twat.

Quick one today.

Someone hit my site with Bottoms Ladies Arsehole.

Hmmmmmm. Hwang.?????

Well my first night shift has been a success. Apart from the fact I almost locked someone in the building lol. Oh well. Started at four this afternoon, still coughing every part of my body to pieces. The delivery was, as is traditional, late. At seven it appeared and we were out by nine ish.! Two hours. . I was going to go to Hobbits and see my delectable girlfriend but by the time I got out it was Terriers and Siamese (cats and dogs for those of you that have not got time to work that one out) and I would have been totally soaked by the time I got in there. Sent her a rather soppily cute pic though.

Thankfully I have found out I shall only be working one night a week. Hurrah.!!

Still waiting for my piccy to appear on the countynightlife page again. Maybe I looked too camp this weekend. lol.

Finally, because my pizza is about to ping its way out of the oven so I shall leave you with a link from my stats page… “cartoon photos of hurling events”… maybe it is just a sickness with some people.

Last night was amazing. After a few pubs and a couple of drinks we entered Hobbits to the strains of a slightly dubious band called Faetal. Not bad but they had something missing. Namely a drummer. A mini disc player filled the gap, but then again the next band didn’t have a drummer either. Caffeine Kill. They don’t need a drummer purely because their music is electronic heaven in a little guitary loveliness. I stood transfixed as they played a good set, both of old and their new album stuff, and did a three song encore as well. I thoroughly recommend watching them if you get the chance, you will certainly not be sorry.

We headed home about 1.30 to a warm bed and not much sleep, partially due to me coughing like a cheap whore on bad cigs.

I have had a lovely day watching Red Dwarf and generally relaxing with ANGEL . A roast dinner, followed by pizza a few hours later.

I have uploaded some new photos to my photo page so have a browse through and enjoy. See you all soon…

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrt attack. With Neil Buchanon. .

Heyup folks. Sorry for the slight hiatus in my whistful meanderings over the past few days. I have been one busy bunny this week. Tuesday night I was out at the Brent Knoll Inn for a meal with our management team from work. A great night, ruin sadly by the fact that they kicked us out at 10.20pm and that four of us out of the five that had the pork were almost crippled with terrible stomach aches the next day… the food tasted ok, but something went wrong somewhere. I can’t prove that it was the pork that did for us, but as the only other person who had pork didn’t hardly eat any but gave it to me… well it makes you wonder.!

Wednesday my delightful Angel came round and we cuddled up and watched Jimmy Carr on DVD. Love ‘im. . We also ate chinese and smelt strongly of garlic lol.

Thursday was my night for staying in and getting well (I am still suffering badly from a cold, my throat is hell, I can’t breathe properly, my nose is sore, my legs ache and I have lost some of the clarity in my hearing). I was going to sit in front of my pc and catch up with people, until BT decided to do some maintenance on the ADSL boards and I was offlined until the next sodding day.

And last night. Went out, felt ill, but had a nice time with my lady . Went in the bloody Elephants bar though and they played that sodding Gold Digger song by Kanye West. A man who almost died a while back. Shame about the almost.

So here I sit, feeling hungry, wondering what to have for breakfast, listening to Vernon “Fucking Twat” Kay, on the radio (which I have now turned off). Have to go see what is on the listen again portion of the BBC website.

Enjoy. *coughs heartily spitting over the monitor*

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Just been browsing the web, after a hearty breakfast of stuffed pizza slice, down boy, and found this rather amusing website all about the awards for the best crashes in Formula One over the last 25 years or so (hmmm well it doesn’t go back past 1980, otherwise Jody Scheckter’s pile up at Silverstone in 1973 in which he had three different compounds of tyres on, spun at Woodcote and destroyed his car and nine others. Oh and he broke the leg of Brabham driver Andrea de Adamich in the carnage. Naughty Jody). Here is the link. It is actually rather funny.

Yes yes I know I haven’t updated since Saturday but I have been busy

Had a fantastic night Saturday, lots of dancing, nice easy taxi ride home, amusing friends and of course my delightful girlfriend shaking her thang on the dance floor. One slightly bizarre incident as my two mates went to Burger King, the guy was just closing up and they ordered stupidly complicated orders (as per usual lol) he was complaining about his bad day and went to unlock the door to let them out and SNAAP. The key broke in the lock and they had to be escorted out the back door…. (cue obvious “Hwang usually goes IN that way not out” gags).

Enormous apologies to a certain person whose birthday it was yesterday…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH (say it in thick Bristolian)

Tonight I am off out with work for a meal and a few drinks and I don’t have to pay, hurrah and huzzah.!! My favourite… free food

The rain outside is falling mainly on the poor little cybergoth who had to walk home (well to and from the bus stops at least), and got a little wet around the edges. I am off now to have a bath (I am actually typing this with nowt on apart from a pair of socks, a t-shirt and a broad grin).

Enjoy your evening, people. The weekend is but three days away.

Eeooooooowwwwwww….

Look at me go, woohoo woah there speedy.!!

Slightly odd starting lines for my blog today but I like to be weird and keep things a little fresh lol.

Ah Saturday has arrived. The day of the headache. Maybe I am not drinking enough water when I get home (last night it was a pint of water, 5 tomatoes and a slice of brown bread with butter).

There is plenty of water outside however.! That’s right it’s raining.

Had a lovely night last night. The new top went down a treat and to my delight was UV reactive as well. I am sorely tempted to wear it tonight as well… we shall see.

I am about to go shopping in a moment for some supplies for dinner later… I am cooking chinese for Angel. Baker’s Fragrant Rice and Chicken with Soy Sauce and Baby Corn. Should hit the spot I think. Then it is back out in town for another night of debauched pleasures and wiggling your bum-cakes to Killswitch Engage. Hopefully they will delight us with Closer by NIN (last night they played Perfect Drug instead, a great song but you can’t get sexy to it… although I was doing that to the middle portion of Tool’s Aenema. Weird. The bit where it goes “learn to swim… learn to swim etc etc”).

Right Asda is beckoning me, stuffed full to the gills as it is with the chaviest of society and a selection of urine reeking old people and mentally challenged people, and thats just the staff.!!

Enjoy your days ladies and germs, I shall sign off with a quick joke…

The Labour Party.

Thank you *bows*