I must apologise for the lack of on-lineness of my site of late. It is caused by what an IT engineer would cause “corrupt packets causing the modem to crash” but what a layman would term “fucked by technology”. It will be sorted sooner or later I hope, so please bear with my slightly under outputted ramblings for a short period.

Finally the weather has given up and the rain has been falling. Yaaay.! Except for one thing, its still bloomin’ warm, which means I am hot and moist (heehee) rather than being cold and wet and looking forward to climbing into my warm bed at night.

I am now the proud owner of another three Dilbert books. One of my favourite cartoons, so vividly mirroring my own working life. Frighteningly accurate and compulsively funny. Go and check out the site at the link I have so cunningly sneaked into your reading material and go nuts .

Some annoying sod of a mosquito has decided to bite my left ankle (why, I don’t know because there is sod all there to actually bite.!), little bitch. When I find out her name (only female mozzies bite – Professor Bunny) I will give her a damn good talking to.! Actually I mustn’t grumble as my mate at work has 18 bites covering a wide area of his body.

My new top is still in a state of pending delivery… why do I insist on buying stuff that is made to order and has a 45 day delivery time lol.

Well it is town tomorrow, hope the barman in Dominion has the drinks ready when we wander round the corner and in view of the front door, saves me having to say a word lol. My nail varnish is on and I shall be once again nosing around Superdrug tomorrow looking for that damn eyeliner that they still won’t have.

It is dark already outside, and has been for sometime so I am sure the winter will be here soon so I want to be the first one to say…

Merry Christmas

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Oh forgot to explain, the odd “blogshares” link on the last post *sound of bugle and 21 rifle salute*. It relates to a website that tots up how much your site is worth… at the moment my blog is worth *checks blogshares site* B$27,000,000,000 ish

Finally someone has found my site with a searching string that made me laugh out loud. Huge amusement at the person who entered into an MSN search “Naked Chav Slags”. The mind boggles about the sort of photos he (or indeed she) found, but I bet they included Burberry undies, at least four kids in the background (all sucking on a selection of Greggs finest pasties), hundreds of pounds worth of stolen video cameras lying around the studio and a range of airburshed track marks .

My store raid was cancelled today (no I wasn’t going to attempt an armed robbery, just test them on “minimum standards” for my AIM course) so I stayed in my place and got quite a lot done actually. Been a good day.

Well a good day except for the fact that MSN has now crashed on me. I can’t say as I am surprised, but the fact that their status page says that everything is fine (and had crashed itself for a short while), as I type this it has magically reappeared for an unknown length of time. Probably a cleaner in America somewhere pulling out a plug so that she can pop an extra HUGE pizza into the microwave for a light snack…

Ooooh interesting point. We are getting new uniforms at work and the size range runs from a size 6, up to the rather unflattering XXXXXXL (thats a measurement of 66 inches round the waist).!

Back tomorrow peeps, and have a good time to Trixy who is off to be a teacher tomorrow as she starts Uni. Awwwww.

Ahhhhhh, another very fine Belgium Grand Prix from my favourite circuit (Spa). Wet track, close racing and controversy as normal. I love Spa as it remains pretty much the only track still in a relatively original “dangerous” condition. Most of the great F1 circuits have been rigorously sanitised to remove any minute chance that a driver’s death may occur such as Imola (Senna and Ratzenburger, 1994), Hockenheim (Pironi reduces his legs to a crumpled mess in 1982) and the Nurburgring (Jim Clark in the late 60’s). I used to love watching the cars come flying round the Tamborello sweep at Imola, but when Senna hit the wall there they added a chicane, then another at Tosa where Ratzenburger died. I am not saying I want to watch people being killed left right and centre but the sport is there with an element of risk, it makes the racing more exciting knowing the danger is very much there.

Enough about Formula One, now lets get back to me. Hmmmm, well found we had EIGHTEEN magpies in the tree at the bottom of the garden, all at once.! Sounded like a group of very common northerners (crazylady and friends maybe hehe) having a shouting match. Watching them fly out and away and trying to work out the whole “One for sorrow, two for joy” thing was a little hard.!

Had a good night out last night, very hot again, hit all the good places except Dominion and thoroughly enjoyed the music in Hobbits. Ended up waiting for a taxi listening to Finch start up, again when I am about to leave, but this time was able to dart back inside much to everyones surprise and dance to that with Hwang, PVC, my bro and his mate KSC (oh and ….. errrr what shall we call her, Malone. That will do). Dived back outside and my taxi was a-waiting for me.

So now it is back to work tomorrow, and time to finish off the 8 bits I have left of the AIM course. Dammit. Not fun.

Might try and do some now. I shall let you know how I get on…

Bonzer Charlies you got there mate.!

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Message for ‘er that owns the newsagents.!!!
The link for the photo I mentioned is located HERE… I warn you now, its a bit errr, different.

Well it is me again. Not that it wasn’t before, just that it is still now… shut up Bunny.!

The course is all but over, and the 16 people on my course shall not really be together again apart from at our graduation (oh and a few will be missing as they dropped out after the redundancies). There was a party atmosphere in the air as we finished day one of our course yesterday, and went down the pub in Pompey. I was personally delighted to be IDed by someone who was at least 7 years my junior. After a slap up dinner in the hotel and my friend Trixy arriving, we headed back into town, under oath that we would all be back into our next course at no later than 9.30am this morning.

We watched the England match in Yates’ bar (bloody Irish.! and £2.97 for a bottle of Smirnoff ice.!!), then headed into BarMe Us in BarMe. Not a bad bar just the right sort of music but the place looked like the industrial zone in the Crystal Maze, only with cheaper props. My stomach started playing me up so Trixy and I headed back to hotel and ferry terminal.

This morning we were all indeed awake and eating a hearty breakfast at 8.15am, all but for one person… who didn’t get in till at least 3am, and finally crawled out of bed at 9.15am and had to check out and a 20 minute journey to Fareham… hmmmm. From the night before, one nameless person was offered a fag, and promptly found himself sitting outside when he spewed a vast quantity of liquor over the dance floor in the club.

We were only 10 minutes late into the course, for which we all got a bollocking, but we took it well and enjoyed the day. No cakes with lunch, but a cheese board with some of the hottest red leicester cheese I have ever eaten… yummy, chillis.!

Sorry if this seems rather random but I am writing it as my nail varnish, and memory, allows.

I am going to miss our little jaunts down South, despite the 7 hours of travelling each time or the undefused lights that make me soooo sleepy by 2 in the afternoon. It has been a wonderful experience, where a number of nervous people have been brought together and bonded, without realising it, into a team that can work in almost any arrangement. So to end I just want to say huge thanks to Rich, Lee, Marnie, Michelle, John, Jenna, David, Luke, Shula, Tina, Nathan, Mike and Simon…

I wish you all the best in the world.!

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*****LATE NEWS*****
Just noticed from my stats page that a lot of people have been searching for the phrase (or something close to the phrase) Big Ugly Bastards… but today two have caught my eye… “Angry Beaton” and even more bizarrely “Superdrug Vibrator”. Errrmmmmm why.???

Right I am off in a short while to my course, please check out my archives of the past few months while I am away and look on misty eyed at my thoughtful sayings and wordy cultural presentations (rants and bloody waffling on about trivial stuff basically). Or head back to the heady days of 2003 when this site first opened and I had a lot less to say. Those were the days huh.?

I will be back on Thursday night, no doubt with some stolen toiletries and a folder full of even more paper, tales to be told and shit to be slung. Sounds delightful doesn’t it.

Oh and any one who is out Friday night, can they please text me.! I am going to be going to Hobbits alone again otherwise. Doh.!

I am now off to spend approximately £300 of the companies money on a bed and a looooot of food. After a three hour car journey. Sigh. Sweaty nuts here I come.

Woooooooooosh.!

I am feeling a little better today. My stomach is much happier, I am feeling hungry again and my sense of humour has returned.

Lovely warm day for you all today, so it should at least be dry for my last long jaunt down to sunny Portsmouth tomorrow evening, this time for a very hard two day course. We are hopefully hitting the town though sometime so might be a bit the worse for wear on the second day lol, oh and I am, fingers crossed, meeting Trixy for a giggle and a chat. Cool.

I am going to spare you the rant this evening. There is nothing I want to rant about to be honest (audience – Wow…..)(the queen – F*uck me.!). I must be in a weird mood.!

Right I must be off and help my friend choose a decent office chair for her new desk. Honestly, just get the £50 one with arms and fabric. Not leather. It makes your ring sweaty.!!

Art’noon all. *bends legs at knees*

Dammit. Mugginess is one type of weather feature I can do without. Its like being in a constant steam bath, with your clothes on.

Firstly a quick “Quote of the Week” from a friend of mine at work, when someone was chucking bags in to a trolley and missing, was heard to say “You are such a bad shot today… You couldn’t even hit puberty”. Lovely

Sorry my site has been down for a couple of days. You obviously know who to blame. He has been on an island with a load of young people and a bucket for a bog, so I will let him off with a warning this time. Hehe.

Been out both Friday and Saturday which was pretty usual for me. Except I had no one to drag up Hobbits with me last night and wandered up there alone. Ish. Had to put up with the excessive heat in there and out of two and a half hours I only spent twenty minutes inside.! The rest I spent enjoying chats with two very nice young ladies, who shall remain anonymous. A certain Mr Ware appeared from work on his last night out in Weston and proceeded to piss me off by being so drunk he couldn’t talk properly. Plus he dragged a few drunken friends along who I am pretty sure will have been thrown out pretty quickly (I didn’t hang around to find out if this theory was true).

I did indeed make it into the Mercury under a story about smashed bus shelters, next time I am going to suggest a posing pouch, myself, a professional 35mm camera and a page three spread entitled Plums Up.

The rain is slowly falling outside, very slowly. So slowly, in fact, that it evaporates before it reaches the floor. In actual fact it is only raining about three foot four off the floor. If you lie down, you would probably stay dry.!

Tum ti tummm.