Thank goodness for fantastic timing. My blog was updated literally hours before Hwang’s loveable hard drive ground itself into a most disappointing and costly mess. This time I have started backing up my own site (well the text anyway) so I can at least keep my ramblings for posterity, I certainly read them repeatedly even if no other bugger does.
Well its been a couple of days since I have been able to have a good old fashioned, no nonsense, pants wedged in your butt all day, smacking head on shelf inducing rant. So lets get stuck in shall we…
Firstly I would like to pay tribute to the fu*king genius that turned off the main set of traffic lights on my way to work. They replaced them with a temporary set that had obviously been programmed by the sort of road worker you normally see dragging a spade along the side of a motorway with his forehead keeping the rain off his feet. Each change to green lasted about 15 seconds and let 6 cars through. Then there was a delightful 60 second long pause and then another 15 seconds for the other direction. It took me 20 minutes to go about 500 metres.!! Wish I had got out and turned the fu*king things off. We went through along with about 40 other cars when the damn things went red for another huge period. I actually phoned the council when I got off the bus and they went and sorted them out but not before asking “Aren’t the contractors on site.??” Excuse me.??
Contractors.?? Road contractors, people that mend roads, the little guys you see in bobble hats in August.? On site.? Before 11.30am.?
You must be living in a chuffing dream world matey-boy.
Second rant is a little different to normal… because for a change I am not passing the buck onto anyone else. I am ranting about me. Cute ‘ole Fluffy Bunny. I have managed to make so many mistakes in my personal life this week already that it has just been unreal. I am cursing my indecision, my lack of morals, my sense of self over-importance and even my self pity, which is so richly ironic because this entire paragraph is pure self pity wrapped up in a pastry case and baked for 40 minutes at gas mark 6, but I digress. I am hoping to get my thumb out of my hairy arse and get on with life.
The ball is but nine days away, my suit (£89 worth.!) is here already, Vanilla is ready and waiting (tch, not like that, you really do have the filthiest of minds.!!) and I am arranging a loan to cover the cost of the drinks and the night itself…..
*WARNING RANT APPROACHING*
TWO POUNDS EIGHTY-SEVEN. Thats how much I paid for a bottle of Smirnoff ice in Yates bar in Regent Street on Saturday night. That is the highest price I have met when buying a bottle of the damn stuff in a bar. I thought the grotty and ugly tourist filled Senioritas was a pile of overpriced wank but I was slightly off the mark… that is to say it IS overpriced wank but I didn’t think anything could beat it.! And the stupid bitch behind the counter managed to cover both my friend and I by sliding the damn bottle straight on to the floor. Normally I wait until I get to Hobbits before I get covered in alcohol (you know who you are, you messy bugger.!!) So I implore you all to avoid Yates if you have any sense, when you can buy Smirnoff Ice for £2.50 in most other places and still have enough money left for your bus fare home… *ANOTHER RANT COMING… oh dear*
I realised the other day that I used to pay £1.20 for the bus to town and back (return ticket) but now I pay £2.40.!! Double the price. Now you are probably thinking “He is old and it was probably 1992 or summink, but it wasn’t it was 2001.! Four years in which the bus fare doubles. Even fags haven’t doubled in that time.!!! 80 pence a mile. Bastards. Hope their wheels all fall off.
Ok gotta stop now. I will be crashing the site again. I have added some new photos to the database (or I will in a second so watching this space for late news with the links).
Two days til the weekend.!
*sings* Mines a Mild and Vimto.!