I am not going to dwell on stuff from now on. I am going to be positive and ignore the things going on around me that make me feel bad/sad/angry/annoyed etc. *Sings* Get get get get get over it.! Just want some people to realise that the easiest way I get over things is to be hard to get hold of. Avoiding being in a situation is the easiest way to forget so please accept my big sorrys now for not always being available for the next couple of weeks.

As for the rest of my life, I had to spend an entire 24 hours without a net connection which has thankfully reappeared due to BT’s amazingly quick sorting out of stuff. Thanks people. Can’t believe how much I felt cut off though. As you are all aware, I am crap at pulling in nightclubs and this inty-net thingy is my window on the world of women lol. Sounds shallow but its just I feel more open on here.

Back to square one…

Well what to write about today.? I guess I should explain about my night out to Hobbits last night but it will probably only drag me even further into my little darkened pit than I am already.

You see, I made a mistake. I thought I could have everything and it would all be ok, but it turns out that I actually can’t and now the thing I did have (which is the only thing I really want), I can’t have anymore. Confused.? Good. So am I. So I ran, literally, out of Hobbits at about 12.50 this morning and hailed a taxi and got home. I felt a bigger sense of loss than when I split up with my ex (the vegan) back in February.. I hate me. Why can’t I decide on something and stick to it rather than flitting around thinking I am God’s Gift when I pretty obviously aren’t even any where close.

Plus in all of this I have hurt her, and I am sure my mate is hurt and conflicting emotions wise too. THAT makes me feel even more like a bastard than I already do. Maybe its just jealousy, the whole “I am not with her but no one else can be either”. Only one thing I can do I suppose…

Get the fuck over it.!

*pulls out pistol and aims at head*

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thursday is almost over and done with finally. What a day. A hot and sticky stockroom (no, don’t even go there, I meant it was very humid), a woman who refused to listen to me when I told her where to park her car FIVE TIMES, (dammit, I know how long our lorry is when it swings round, you don’t) and still the thought of another day at work before Hobbits. Oh bum.

On the menu tonight we have, spots of last night’s soup, a squashed pea, a liberal spraying of tomato sauce and Nai’s birthday drinks at the pub. Should be fun. Might take my darts. We used to play darts a lot. Almost every night some weeks (including the night that eight of us playing killer out shouted 30 people watching the pool match). Tina used to miss out on most of the rounds being only small. Her head wasn’t even level with the bullseye.!

I am currently enjoying a very strange situation involving myself, an ex, and a small fluffy mammal that I won’t name. Oh and Blondie… and her girlfriend I suppose. Its all complicated and we are all fancying each other… hmmm ok so some of us fancy each other, the others don’t like each other and the Fluffy mammal needs to be stroked but like the massive hole I am currently digging for myself here I don’t think I am going to jump in any further…

One day to Friday… Im so excited *Sings badly and dances*

Im starting with a letter today… Actually its an email that I have stolen from Viz but I think its amusing…

“It was reported that Stevie Wonder was named as a witness for the defence in the Michael Jackson trial…. I don’t want to sound thick but…”

See. Amusing.

A big hello to Hwang who thinks I (and a fellow blogger) are funny, just for talking about penguins. Its bizarre really. He was the one caught with a penguin in his mouth on Thursday. Next time he has been advised to stick to the chocolate variety. Hehehe.

Hobbits will hopefully be back to its normal capacity this Friday with musical treats from “SomeDay” and “New Movement”. I am sorry but New Movement sounds like the start of a days pooing.!!! Put it with SomeDay and the whole thing starts to get all constipationy.

All of us at the StitchingBastards want to wish Bob Geldof a happy birthday for dragging Ebay in to the dirt. Let em sell the bloody tickets you fool. Lets face it, 90% of the bands you have playing are 100% wank anyway so you might as well let those mad fools willing to part with huge sums of cash for a free ticket get on with it. Otherwise they will be taking holidays which wrecks the enviroment and devalues the worth of the native currency, buying HUGE new cars with V12 engines and lots of bull bars to crush little kids on the way to the shops in the morning or they might just start listening to your songs, Bob, and have a bad Monday whilst simultaneously pretending to be a US school kid (clunkclunk, bangbangbangbangbangbangbang click click click etc).

Finally, well done to the woman who opened her car door in front of a car this morning while “dropping off the kids” hehe. Nice work woman.!! Time to start using your mirrors or just not bothering to actually leave the house at all.

Brrrrrrmmmmm mm m mm m m m m phut phut clunk… oh bugger

And here we go now with a letter from Somerset…
“Dear Jim, I come from a little town in the West Country. Its not a big place but there are lots and lots of people who come and visit in the summer. We call them grockles. Most of them are perfectly nice people but the rest are all assholes that really could have done with suffocating at birth. Could you fix it for me to run the bastards through a forest and then pen them into a gypo camp and firebomb the little scummy wastes of space. Hope you can help me… Lots of love Fluffy Bunny.”

More importantly, we have the T4 concert here on Sunday don’t we everyone. Cue lots of screaming 12 year olds (Gary Glitter eat your heart out) and bad singing. I am staying WELL away from the seafront on Sunday I can tell you. Its going to be Tasha Slapper city with all that make up and tight pulled ponytails… and Argos will be making a killing selling cheapo crappy jewellry to these people.

In more news today, Bob Geldof moaned a lot about people flogging tickets for Live 8 on Ebay… which is EXACTLY what I was going to do.!! He says that its sick to profit from such a charitable event… hmmm £1.50 a text message… 2 million sent in so far… thats £3m and they arent paying the performers… administration cost.??? Bollocks.! Great big hairy ones at that. Plus they aren’t even trying to raise any money for anything either. Whats the point of getting several million people to support something and not sting em for a few quid for the poor and needy (yes those poor people from Accrington actually). A wise old man once said, if you get all the punters to bring a bag of Uncle Bens with them then you can send that lot to Africa. Simple.

Michael Jackson is found not guilty. Might be a good idea to stop pretending to be God and letting the kids come round even though you are indeed innocent Mr J.

And finally tonight… Jordan drops another chavvy sprog. Oh good. Imagine the offspring of her and Peter Andre. Sends a shiver down you spine doesn’t it.!

Good Evening.

Course number two is done with.. another nice hotel and £20 worth of food gone and only about 3 weeks to the next one. Damn. Heyho. I spent all last night desperately trying to avoid the result of the Grand Prix. What a race.!! Wow.!! And it made my pizza taste even better, with all the excitement.

This is going to be a short one today, sorry. Lack of anything to rant about… ooh apart from the dippy bitch in a bronze girl-racered Peugeot 306 who was driving like a fucking retard on our journey back. If you ever go to buy a 306 registration T944 VAM then don’t bother. It’ll be wrecked on the inside.!!

Today is the day I go on the second part of my AIM course down to sunny Fareham. Exiting life I lead is it not.?

At this precise moment my stomach is copying its reaction from yesterday and is doing lazy 8’s and also Immelmann’s across my body. Add to that the fact that I have strained my stomach muscles on the left hand side and you have a hell of a combination.

H2O was our now traditional starting point and it was full of another bloody hen party (bunch of annoying women who are trying too hard to prove they are still fun and can drink too much despite all working in the same building society and being over 40. And fat) chavvy arseholes who get in your way when you are trying to walk across the dance floor and end up losing their drink when you push them out of the way and, more worryingly, men in pink shirts (WTF.!! Why are men wearing pink now.?? Why.?? I guess it will last until one of them gets approached by Julian Clary on his day off). Then we ended up in the ultimate nightmare… Seniorita’s. For those of you unfamiliar with this place, just imagine THE worst pub in the world, and then take out all the good bits. I bought a bottle of VK Blue. TWO POUNDS FUCKING SEVENTY.!! If you go upstairs to Phoenix then it only cost £3 for TWO.!!! Plus all the bar staff are tossers and treat you like shit. Thankfully we headed upstairs to Phoenix just after. Phew.!

Hobbits was VERY hot last night. I felt like I should have been wearing nowt but a small towel and carrying some birch branches. It was a very steamy atmosphere, but maybe that was just my influence on all the ladies *head expands*. I couldn’t get drunk again, just found myself feeling more and more sick. Heyho, thats drinking.

It was a funny night really. I made one of those decisions that is either going to work out ok, or is going to backfire on me because I have ummmed and arrrred about it for a while. We shall see.

I will let you all know how my course goes when I triumphantly return tomorrow night. Have a nice Monday morning. I am sure I will. Free food and getting paid for listening to some one tell me about a shop. Hehehe.

Is it placid.? Well its flacid now.!

Oh hello dear beans. Saturday afternoon is here and my stomach is still doing “lazy 8’s” from last night. The KFC didn’t help (don’t even think about taking me up on that one, after my FastFood based rant, because I will bite you). And tonight, we do it all again, abelt without Hwang sadly… awwwwww.

Last night was another one of those nights… only this time I was accused of ignoring Blondie, which I wasn’t, we just had one of those “Is she ignoring me.?? I’ll play it cool then” things going on. I have been working on trying to get two close friends together but he won’t take the hint and fails to see the whole thing in perspective. Yes, she is someone’s ex, but in our little group that has never stopped anyone.! We have all been out with each other (ok only men with women, nowt funny like.!). Well tonight will be interesting if only to see how bad the bands in Hobbits are again.! Last night’s lead singer looked like a thin Jack Osborne. Frightening.!!

Pity my poor stomach tomorrow on the long drive to Fareham.!

My word what a warm day… as The Sun might say… “A scorcher”, then again they have a photo of the olympic rings on the front of todays issue and the word Alien so its not like I bothered reading past the headline.

Well Hobbits tonight, and its going to be pretty quiet as everyone appears to be at the Download festival and I am annoyed that no one told me it was on so I could bloody go.!! Damn.!

On the world news front….
Damon Albarn has had a lovely long go at the unwashed and usually unshaven Bob Geldof (Bob is a bit like Danny Baker… when you see him on TV you just know he will reek in real life.!). Damon pointed out something that I hadn’t actually noticed. Live 8 is an “awareness” campaign for Africa, arranged to make you think about the poor of the world and their needs for food, shelter and porn. So you would expect a few African bands, maybe Yossou N’door (him off of 7 seconds back in 1994, he is playing in the Paris gig) or any of the massive Andy Kershaw music collection that he used to play back in the early nineties, but no, tis wall to wall British stuff.

And Sting. Nasty.