Welcome to Thursday. Not a bad day as days go, sitting just behind Friday night as it does. Means I know when I go to work tomorrow that I will be able to go clubbing afterwards, Hurrah.!!!

My friend Trish at work is smoking Cleopatra fags. Odd yes. Whiff like a bitch to the point where I am sure its actually cow dung rolled into a tube and painted white and the cost.?? £2 for TWO HUNDRED.!! Flippin’ ‘eck, no wonder they smell like moo-moo doo-doo.!

I have new nail varnish thanks to someone called hmmmm, nickname time…. well she is blonde but Blondie has gone already, going to have to be “Thongy” hehe, not for any real reason, well almost not. Back to varnish, well its a dark purple colour and I have just finished doing them alternately black and purple, left to right across my hand. Very nice it looks to, but maybe too girly. Need more opinions on this one.!! Photo is here… http://www.stitchingbastards.co.uk/photos/images/Newnailsboth.jpg so leave some opinions on the replies/comments tag below this important news item. Oh and I know its messy, I am terrible at painting within the lines, but then again, it all washes off when I get in the bath so don’t worry.

The thing I was going to rant about the other day involved the way that people are taught to drive cars. In particular reversing. Now I know I don’t drive, well legally at least, but having watched lots and lots of people reversing it occurs to me that the best way to ensure people can reverse into a space properly is to make them take their HGV licences.!!! Sounds bizarre right.? Well a little but having watched our drivers basically fit a quart into a pint pot (ie a 26foot trailer and tractor unit into a narrow lane with a 90 degree turn at the far end) it occured to me just how little people rely on their mirrors. Let me explain…

If you drive a lorry then you can’t see out the back window because usually there is no window at all, or it is there but obscured by a huge container etc. You can’t stick your head out the window very well due to the size of the cab and your vision is not great, apart from being up in the air a long way. To reverse a truck you rely on two things, a banksman such as myself who is trained to know where you need to put your truck to be able to turn a corner and, of course, your mirrors. Imagine then if people who were being trained to drive HAD to pass an exam using their mirrors to reverse park their car with the windows blacked out. They could do it in a truck maybe but the size would cause them problems and they wouldn’t need to have the experience. Give em a Cortina with no rear window and off you go. Lovely.

Ah and another thing I forgot to mention, I found a teletubby. Sounds totally strange but I can assure you it isn’t, see… http://www.stitchingbastards.co.uk/photos/images/teletubby1.jpg

Right I am off for another bath. Nails Ahoy (or Akimbo.!)

Ok, I have had enough of pissing around and acting miserable. I am going back to the old happy-go-lucky Fluffy Bunny that I am usually. Its much easier on my nerves and lets face it, I am an attractive guy when I am happy hehe. Well maybe a little at least.! Tonight I am making a resolve to cheer myself up and get the hell on with things. Hopefully this is gonna be as easy as it is to type it… only time will tell.

Short one tonight as its bathtime now. Byeeee. x

My word it is late.! I have finally just managed to get online after a huge storm removed AOL’s (look don’t say it because I already know what you are thinking but I hate change so I am staying for the moment) ability to log onto the net so I went out for a drink instead. Watched the rain HAMMERING like hell down and the huge blue flashes lighting u the sky. Amazing but it still makes me want to hide under a rug. I was walking down the pier when it started and the sudden realisation that I was a) alone and had no one to squeeze in fright, b) wet (down boy.!) and c) on a huge metal damn pier, made me more than a little nervous, but I needed the loo and to kill a short time so there I was.

So how did today go… well no improvement I am afraid and towards the end it just got a little bizarre, ok a lot bizarre.!!

Once again I find myself living for the weekend. At least Blondie might be out this Friday, something to take my head away from my confused thoughts and just enjoy the three hours I see her for instead, a cheap thrill but what else do I have. At least it allows me a brief moment of blackness to try and forget my troubles. I am not normally a depressing person but of late it has taken a hold. Heyho… tomorrow is another day and I’ll treat each one as I get there from now on.

Oh and ALL my decisions are based on heads or tails now…. seriously, so if I start doing odd things it because I have been following a new pattern to get my life back on track.

When in Rome.

Ah glorious Monday. Glorious stab you in the face and crap down your neck Monday. If the rest of the week is as good as today then I am really in it up to the neck. I have spent 24 hours (ok I am laundering Sunday with the same detergent i guess) making stupidly bad decisions, pissing people off, making people unhappy and generally depressing myself. At least there was one ray of sunshine who appeared and blew my dark clouds away before I went back and lowered myself in to my little pissed off pit of steamy grubbiness. I love self pity, there is an endless supply even though it doesn’t help. Makes me want to smoke though which is still hurting my head/throat/voice. Oh and no I am not going to the doctors.

I had something interesting to write here but I really have made myself feel worse now so I am going to go have one of the afforementioned fags and sit in the shade of the garden now. Oh hell its too hot. I am sweating BIG style for a skinny guy.

One last thing. Why has every decision I have made since the dying days of May been so stupid, ill advised and badly thought through that I really should be put up against a wall and shot like a common pervert. Grrr. I hate me sometimes.

Roll on Monday.!

Well who knows what is happening in my head. I certainly don’t. I keep making the wrong decision about things and then worrying about it. I know I should be happy with my choices but I keep getting it wrong and being confused all the time. Not good. Oh well, what is an elf to do.!?!

I won’t talk about last night, because I cannot be arsed. I WILL talk about the fact that FirstBus have increased the fares on their crappy bus service by ANOTHER ten pence so I am paying £2.40 to go 3 miles to town and back. Bastards. Bastards grrrrrrr Bastards.!! Plus well done to the annoying sods that made us wait on a bus earlier and pissed around sorting out their fares when they had sat on the wall by the bus stop doing so all for a good 15 minutes before the damn thing arrived arrrrrrrghhhh. I hate that, when you get to the line in a supermarket and there is someone in front of you buying one packet of bog roll and when they put it on the counter and the cashier asks for the money they spend bloody ages diving around in their handbag (yes it is ALWAYS women, usually old ones) and try and find their money despite having spent twenty minutes stood there doing nowt *breaaaathe breathe breathe*

Why not all take a trip to the Hobbits website at www.hobbitsnightclub.co.uk and enjoy the message board fun that occurs there. I have already left my mark and I am sure to be slapped down for my views but heyho.

Heres to a better week and maybe some happiness for lil old me.

“Hup puff two puff three puff four puff.!” puffed Willie.

Not a bad Friday night. Felt different actually but I think thats a combination of me not being drunk and my head still being tightly packed with “stuff” *ewwww*

I wandered out at 12am and walked to my new “friend’s” flat. Saved me the taxi fare and I had a lovely night too.

Hobbits had run out of Apple Schnapps… dammit and even worse H2O have put their prices up.!! Bastards.!! £5.10 for a Smirnoff Ice and a pint of Carslberg really does take the piss.!! Time to find a new pub I think. Overpriced tacky bar it is really.

Tonight we do it all again, but at least the weather is now cool enough for me to wear my favourite top, the one with the spikes. Great stuff.

Pizza has been ordered and is on the way along with potato wedges, several chicken dippers and plenty of dips.

Time to hit the …… actually Dominoes lol.

*LATE NEWS*
Fair play to the man from oop north who has been fined £750 for opening an unlicensed nightclub in the dining room of his semi detached house. He had a well stocked bar, stools, neons, huge TV screen, DJ and all the X’s. Well done fella. One in the eye for the stupid beer prices.

What a night that was.. I didn’t get to sleep until 1am and was rudely awoken by the sound of furniture being flung downstairs at 4.55am. Ok it was just a thunderstorm but despite my knowledge of their power and the fascination they hold for me, it still scares me shitless, especially when there is a flash and a bang at EXACTLY the same time. Thats when you realise just how close you are to it. My friend Pika once made me walk her home (rather than get a bus herself) in the middle of a huge storm and I was stood there outside her house, terrified due to the metal bus shelter I was standing in.!! No fair.!!

More moans…
Our lorry was bloody articulated adn required a 17 cage drag down the lane this evening. Cheers Mr Warehouse Man, After this week I realllllly needed that.!
The weather, although hot last week was at least dry. Today I have constantly felt like I should be wearing nought but a towel and some birch branches at work.! I hate humidity almost as much as I hate drizzly rain. You tend to end up wet but it happens so slowly it sort of creeps up on you.
My head still feels like it is fit to burst and is driving me nuts. Goodness knows how long I am going be able to last out tonight but at least I know I have a bed for the night if I want it.

Will Blondie be out tonight… another saga unfolds. I doubt it to be honest due to various reasons, but I can’t lose the shadowy feeling of doom that is preceding this evenings festivities. Oh well, who knows.

Just read that some greedy c*nt who runs our country wants to slap a tax on wills and house sales. One day I hope Mr Blair and Mr Brown buy a Jag from Prescott and all crash into a tree at high speed. No really I do actually mean it.! It takes a lot to make me hate someone but those three really piss me off.!

Hmmm *sniffs pits* I need to go have a bath I think. And a shave. And wash my hair which needs a cut *mutter mutter another bloomin’ £6 grumble*.

Enjoy your nights out people, I am determind not to let recent events continue in my head any longer even though it hurts. Time to get on with it and try and move on.

Down boy.! *pheeeep* come by. come by.

Gaaaaah… sunny hot weather with a big helping of moisture and grit. Our stockroom has no air con and no matter how many health and safety laws we flout, the only way to get cool is to go out for frequent “meetings” on the roof, hehe. Its working quite well although our work is not progressing quite as fast as it should be. Hobbits tomorrow is going to be unbearable isn’t it.! Oh well, needs must when the devil drives.

Moving on, I have not actually slept in my own bed for the past three nights. Now before you all call me a tart (Thanks Hwang for that.!) I would like to point out that nothing except sleeping has been occuring. Glad I have settled the score on that one.! Its just that certain people who read this may think I have just erased history from my mind but I assure you I honestly haven’t. This weekend should be interesting, hopefully for the right reasons.

I am feeling like I have had a foot pump inserted in my (oi, don’t be dirty) in my ear and my head inflated. I hate having a dust allergy it hurts, I can’t smoke properly, been stealing my bosses menthols, and it makes me feel like my head is about to implode, explode or just collapse into a little oily mass. Sigh.

Interesting thought… why am I so fascinated with fire engines, ambulances etc. A siren has just blasted past now and I had to go and have a look. I guess its because i am just a nosy little so-and-so, hehe.

And todays final words come from one American Formula One fan who shouted (just after the podium “celebrations” had concluded)

Eat shit and die Ecclestone. Sadly I have to agree.!

I hate being ridiculed. It makes me feel unhappy. Then again, I love attention, that cheers me up so I guess its a two sided coin…

You will be pleased to hear that my night out last night went very well. I shall be out again tonight, just hope I get more sleep this time.!!

Rants I need to get off my chest…
Actually only two today, both Railway related…
Firstly well done you idiots to FirstBus (again.!) The usual bunch of geniuses behind their brain stormingly good ideas have decided to halve the amount of trains between Bristol and London. Goodo. Expect even more cars on the M4 and more dead people from all the crashes…
Secondly we have a congestion charge being added to train fares during peak times in the south east… well done there too.! Rather than run more trains make less people use them by charging them more, plus the people that HAVE to use trains will bump your revenue up sky high. Greedy Bastards the lot of em…. grrrrrrr.

And Hwang…. Doctor Who theme goes….. wooooooo eeeeee ooooooooooo ooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo, I have no idea what u were singing.!!

*****HUGE RANT WARNING STAND CLEAR*****

Max Mosley, you are hereby charged with acting like a flamin’ idiot in front of over 100 million people. Your stupidity and stubborn attitude meant that last nights Indianapolis Grand Prix was the most ridiculous spectacle since Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards, put on a pair of skis. Rather than force the 7 teams who had no choice but to pull out of the race to actually just pull in to the pits at the end of the parade lap, all you had to do was accept that a mistake had been made, allow everyone to race, either with the newer tyres flown out, or with a chicane added before the banking but not let anyone gain points except Bridgestone. At least that way I could have spent a couple of hours watching a decent motor race rather than the kind of unadulterated idiocy I usually expect from reality TV shows. SIX cars… thats SIIIIIIIX cars left the grid at the start. If the Jordans hadn’t broken their promise to race, forcing Minardi to, then there would have been two Ferraris and nowt else.!! Oh and while we are on the subject Barrichello was told to back off and not overtake Schumacher… is that not a fixed race AGAIN from those Italian fools in red.??? Congratulations for not backing down Mr Mosley and at least letting your viewers watch a bit of driving rather than well, bugger all because I didn’t bother watching it.

In other things I am hopefully going to be out tonight if anyone happens to be online and wondering where I am. Sorry, I will be in later I am sure so bear with me and then bare with me hehe. Meh.

Oh and I have added that picture of the mad driver in her Peugeot so now its all there to see (talking of mad drivers in Peugeots… I need a photo of Hwangs to go with it, wonder if I could “doctor” his car somehow… no not Doctor Who you geek, Andrew.!!)

Sccreeeeeeeech. Hooooooonnnk Hooooooonnnk.