Just in case you lovely fans of mine out there are wondering, the trousers have come out ok… they were just caked in unspeakable filth around the bottom edge, serves me right for wearing them into Latinos, were the toilet floor is wetter than the inside of the toilet bowl itself (and wandering down dirt tracks on the way to slightly iffy house parties lol). My shoes however are a little more terminal. The dye on my bigg’uns has rubbed off to such a degree that my normally quite clean vans are now patched with a black etching. Heyho.

Happy Easter by the way.!!

To save me having to explain this story by text to all my friends (so costing me a fortune), it is far easier for me to tell it here and expect the ribald comments when I am done.

Right, Saturday night, here we go…
Firstly I had on the huge trousers, secondly I topped (rather bottomed) it with beige trainers. Thirdly Hwang gave me Absinthe, which I have never had before, and finally we went to Hobbits. I had a fantastic night, but have ended up with a very bad neck due to way to much moshing. It is now Monday at 4pm and I am still feeling the effects of the alcohol from 38 hours ago. And lastly I found myself in a flat on the Bournville, in a house party, with one person I used to know, a girl that wouldnt let go of my hand and a guy that I couldnt remember where I knew him from… turns out he used to sell me donner meat in gravy in the Chicken place by the floral clock. All got that.?? Good. I am never doing the drinking thing again….. oooooooooh…. didnt get in till five…

oh fuck it…. same again Friday.!!???

ps well done Alonso, and for you Schumacher, the var is over..!

As Jimmy Carr once said…
“I would rather see a pregnant woman standing on a bus, than a fat girl sitting down crying.”

I just popped in to drop my big thanks to who has visited my faceparty.com site and got the views up to 200 (in just over a week!!) I am mighty impressed… Then again, did any of you even bother.? Or am I thanking a bunch of people who moved their mice to click the link but then noticed the photo of the girls bottom at the side of the screen and clicked that instead.? Oh and while I am on that subject I notice this site has surpassed the 6000 views mark. Numnumnumnumnumnumnumnumnum. Lol.

My readers are a bunch of perverts it seems.. but then it takes one to know one…

ps… so they are putting barriers on the toll road. Shame. I’ll be looking forward to the day some kid hurts himself by hitting that really hard instead of parking his 106 on the rocks.

I have been busy over the past few days checking out a new place to meet people. I have had a profile on there for a while but hadn’t done much to it because I was spoken for… well now I am not spoken for I have been biggin’ it up with the local ladies… lol. I advise you to all go check out my site which is located here… yes here you merry fools.!! and get my hit rate up. Maybe make up a profile for yourself… can’t do no ‘arm right.?

Bongos for now.

Well I have just come in from clubbing… as usual I left at 1am and phoned my mate Keith to get me to pick him up (oh boy am I lucky to know a taxi driver.!!). The night started at my mates house to celebrate their daughters 1st birthday (awww). It was a pleasant evening and a lot of fun. Then we headed into town and thats kinda where (for me) it went down hill. Now I used to enjoy a night out clubbing, even if i went home early (i have a habit of drinking too much lol) but as great as my mates are, and very funny and enjoyable too, they cant compete with the other people around. Maybe I am getting old but all the guys look, well, stupid and all the girls, predictably dressed.! Seriously, its true, the same tops, loose at the base of the top and a little round hole between the boobs. And once again the music Oh My Word. The club I go in used to be split upstairs, club, downstairs VERY cheesy fun pub music. But now they have closed the funpub and its pure cheese upstairs instead.

It was when they started playing Relight My Fire by Take That (which I can’t dance too, yes I know I can’t dance anyway but at least I can TRY to other stuff.!!) that I realised my error of judgment and scampered off through a horde of chavs to get a taxi home.

Next week, its Hobbits with some impressively big trousers and a bad top lol. I’ll let you know how it goes. If they play one song by a 1970’s disco artist I will scream though.

Night peeps. Oh yeh, and welcome to a few newcomers to the site, nice to see you, have a sausage roll, and don’t touch the goat. After Rebecca Loos got in here he has been rather nervous. That must be what David Beckham felt (alledgedly ). Beep Beep, TAXI!!!!

The day has arrived, my Rammstein hoody has appeared from “That place with all the Germans in it” ie Germany. I love it already and finally feel a little more like a goth than I did before. Most of you who know me understand my love of weird music like The Used and friends but its been going on since the first time I visited the old Hobbits years ago (a local night club). Listening to Pantera’s Walk opened my eyes and ears to something very different to the BritPop I had been toying with from the early 1990’s. Since then I have always shyed away from wearing the usual goth stuff because I didn’t have any clue as to how I would look right.

Now I feel I belong again. Rock!!

Is it me or is it a little nippy outside.? Sorry the phrase i meant was f**k me it’s freezing.! What a wonderful sight it would make if womens body temperatures work backwards (lets face it their minds do sometimes.!!). For instance, in terribly cold weather out come the tiny tight tops and bikinis (and out come the pointy nipples also). You see, in summer we men are also not wearing a lot so when a shexy lady (try it in a funny accent) walks past with norks on stalks then its much harder to hide our feelings.

Just one of my idle thoughts to keep me warm until the sun comes out again. Art’noon all.

Ahhh, after 4 long months of no Formula One the series returned today with the Australian Grand Prix down in good old Oz (which we still rule over ha haaaaaa, criminals the lot of them.!!). It was a bizarre grid due to the rain yesterday and David Coulthard, bless the big chinned wonder, managed to pull off a fantastic 4th place finish in a car that last year would have had trouble pulling off a fat drunk business man in a Soho night club. Well done you mad man.! Oh and big thanks to Schumacher who managed to eliminate, not only himself, but the only other German driver in the race with a masterpiece of stupidity. Sigh…. only two weeks to go til the next one.!!

Oh yeah, that reminds me… I am going to make a few predictions for the Eurovision song contest… Cyprus and Greece will give full marks to each other, as will Spain and Portugal, Germany and France (or maybe Belgium and France), Monaco will give France top marks, The various ex Yugoslavian states will be rimming each other to full marks too, as will Lithuania and Slovenia etc.

Don’t you just love a fair fight. Might as well restart the cold war.!! Us versus the rest. Wahey.!!

Mind how you go lad.!

Well I have been busy, lost another girlfriend but thats life I guess (she has gotta be round here somewhere, but I cant be bothered to rip the arse out of the sofa and look properly, thats what did for the hamster too.!).

Question.. why do i always attract nurses and scientists.? Is it some kind of aftershave i use or am i just a sucker for intelligent women. Either that or I need looking after or experimenting on.!!

On another note I went to see Rammstein in London recently. Its was FANTASTIC and I really cant stress that enough. It was soooo good. The flames, the german in a cooking pot, the big coat. Aw man.!! If you ever get the chance to go then, well GO.!!! you would never regret it (well unless you absolutely detest German rock music, prefer Eminem *spits on floor* or Atomic Kitten *stabs pillow*

Well I am off to chat up a sexy nurse who lives 200 miles away. Have a nice week.!!