Welcome to another ranting moment. Please take your seats and avail yourself of the free drinks available…

Continuing my theme of nightclubs I recently nipped out for one of my now rare Saturday nights out in town. We hit the usual places that I try and avoid (Yates bar is over priced and crowded and dont even get me started on bloomin Senioritas!! £4 to get in.???? I would rather lose my nuts than pay that). My small but fluffy friend who I bumped into on the night pointed out that Time nightclub has been closed for a redo after being bought up by our local, ahem, enterprising chaps who own a funpub and another club. In todays local paper they were there toasting the foetid place which opened last night and they were quoted as saying that they “Wanted to provide a safer environment for clubbing in the town.”

Now not wishing to piss on their chips but this was the same people who were recently fined for packing far more people into the other club they own than they were allowed to by fire regulations (lets face it though it was the bouncers counting them in and when was the last time u saw a bouncer who looked as though he could count!!) and also had an application to LEGALLY pack em in even tighter turned down by the council. Safer my ass.! Its all about the money of course.

Moving on around the town it has been announced that we are to get £5 million to do up the place and try and attract more tourists. £5 million.? give me a large H-bomb and i’ll do the job for a tenner and some smarties. We have the biggest quota of drug rehabilitation centres in the south west and there is why we have no tourists left, oh well that and the fact that there are no decent things to do here when it rains, as it so often does. I personally am looking forward to the next batch of bad heroin that appears in this town, it might cut the odds down some.

Night all.