One of my favourtie things to do is stuff my face full of tasty morsels from around the world. Ive tried English (obviously) French, Spanish, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Malaysian and Italian (throw in some Dutch too if you like but I didnt eat that I smoked it.!). It is fair to say that I enjoyed heartily all of the above but I long to try bigger things, say Korean (what does dog taste like and how on earth do you get a doberman in your oven, also are there any cook books on this sort of thing.?) or maybe somewhere that eats Rats like Brazil or a third world nation like Scotland (ha haa, beatcha hands down Rugby boys).

Maybe I’ll just have to grab a few ingredients off the street and see what turns out… surely not EVERYTHING will taste of chicken right.?

Oh well. Burger anyone.?

And so justice was done. The Darkness wander off drunkenly from the Brits with three very well justified awards. Great stuff, great band, long may they blossom (and never start producing shite like Oasis did after the Be Here Now album).

So how are we all.? Good I hope.!

I work, as many of you know, for a well known High Street catalogue retailer. Honestly, I enjoy my job. Im good at it (well usually) and I love the people I work with. As in any social group there are little characters that poke through and brighten your day. In my loooong retail experience (bloody hell 10 years this year *orders incontinence pads for next birthday*) I have met a lot of folk that certainly dont mean to be a character but end up doing so without realising it, such as the supervisor who loved married bus drivers but didnt know anyone else knew, or the sales assistant who frequents our female toilet and leaves some of the largest, ahem, “richard the thirds” ever known to man.

So now ask yourself…

Which one are you.??? Character or have you suddenly had that dawning realisation that people might just be laughing at you not with you.?

I hate valentines day. Always have done. Apart from the usual commercial aspect (hey I am not anti capitalist, I hate socialism, but I detest stuff like Easter beginning 12 seconds into boxing day and the bloody company I work for stocking my stockroom full of Christmas trees in July when the weather outside is well over 90 degrees, now where was I.?) oh yes, apart from the commercial bollocks going on, in the past 8 years I have happily parted with about £400 for the sake of saying “I love you” one more time. Now I am a romantic at heart with fanciful thoughts of meeting a beautiful woman who loves doing what I love doing (even the non rude stuff), the whole soul mate thing going on would be fantastic, but I dislike being made to feel guilty if on this ONE day a year I DONT do anything romantic.

All through history the poor men of this world have had to put up with being put through the grinder if we forget a birthday, anniversary, date, wedding (hmm, better ignore that last one) and I know from personal experience that women only remember things like this to persecute us guys. BUT on this one day, February (which is a pile of poo as a month really anyway) the 14th (plus often occurs after my least fav day of all, Friday the 13th) it all comes down to remembering to get a card, flowers whatever it takes.! Even if you spend thousands of pounds EVERY OTHER SINGLE DAY but that one, well its good bye balls, hello surgical ward and high pitched singing.

My rambling point is this… Its not easy being a man. But some sod out there somewhere decided that for one day a year, itll be harder… Child birth? Pah, nothing compared to forgetting those three little words… “Happy Valentines Day”.

Next year I am gonna hibernate.!

I must apologise for the slight hiatus in the world caused by this site being off line since a nasty little thunder storm kicked the main server outta whack. It has obviously now been resolved (thank you Mr B!!) and normal service is here again.

I thought I would start with a little rant (quel surprise!)

I see people on the news all the time wanting animal testing banned. Now I cant see a problem there, lets ban it BUT what is gonna happen to all the untested medical breakthroughs in the world, are we gonna start just giving untested drugs to kids.? I have a much better idea. We have all these people in prisons being paid for by our taxes and living a high life… Ian Huntley, Maxine Carr, Kenneth Noye, Harold Shipm… ooops no not any more… lol. Why not ship them off to some facility somewhere and use them for the testing. I for one would love to watch as Rosemary West had several different irritants poured in her eyes, that for me is what justice is all about.!

And a little joke to leave you with… Whats thirty foot long and smells of piss

Line dance night at an old peoples home. Enjoy.